My girlfriend resents me?

[Upperlower]

I changed my mind about wanting a baby, I know its bad but I wasn't sure that I was ready for one and she asked me to be honest. iv expanded how I feel too young to be a dad (22) and that she puts pressure on my to have a child. so now she resents me for not giving her a child! I know she's probably gonna resent me until she gets a child but we don't seem to have a connection anymore because of it, which puts more pressure on me to agree with her to save the relationship (I'm not going to agree btw) any ideas on how to make things better?

Updates

+1 y

well we are no longer together since about 2hours ago. break up went well and we both agreed there was no way it could work.

[LittleMissGriff]

Dude, she refuses to consider your opinion on life changing events. How on earth do you expect to save this relationship? To have a healthy, strong relationship there has to be respect, trust, and communication. So far, you've got nada. This girl is steamrolling you into things you know you're not ready for and, obviously, neither is she. I don't care how much she wants a baby; a woman who won't even consider her partner will be a terrible mother. She's inherently selfish in the worst of ways.

Saving this relationship is the biggest mistake you could make.

[vtewq]

First, honesty is very important, good job. Second, if its just that you're too young and youd like to give it time, make sure she knows that its not permanently out of the question, just for now. Raising a child is a big responsibility and if you feel your not ready or don't want a child then dont. In the end it could end up hurting the child...believe me. But if its something you'd consider in the future, make sure she knows that, that way she mabe will be able to understand your side and have something to look forward to instead of resenting u.

[Anonymous]

Well I am glad you were honest with her, and she should be as well. It is not right to push wanting a baby onto someone that doesn't want one (either now or never). That is your decision and it is your life. I am sorry she is resenting you. She probably has or had high hopes on wanting a baby for a long time. Personally I do not see a way to make it better. She is adamant on wanting a baby and unfortunately you are not the one to give he one. Kudos for standing up for what you want!

[anynymoooooose]

I'm not crazy about what's appropriate within and outside of marriage, but maybe you ask her to wait until you guys are ready to commit to each other before you commit to raising a child?

[Anonymous]

There is no solution here. She wants babies now, you do not. I know it may seem like a waste, but it's time to end the relationship.

[Memoryfalls]

Wow, I think she should give her life some order first (education for herself, a job, steady income, marriage) - that's just my opinion. A friend of mine got her child during university and she has put her studies on hold for two years now. I find that irresponsible, but I can't tell her what to do with her life.

Now you can't tell your girlfriend either, but as far as your life is concerned, you have a fair say in that - so tell her that you love her and love to have a baby with her one day but not now, if she resents you for that, well, I don't have any advice for this situation. I think it would be quite unfair on your part and probably force you to end the relationship. I hope she changes her mind though.

[bluewingedangel828]

well from the sounds of it you told her you would have a child with her before. I mean its like this with anything if you are really into having somethign then find out oh you can't you get very bumed out and feel very let down. maybe you just shouldn't have a baby at this time. but still have one later on when things get better. just do your best to keep the relationship alive if you really love her and that's the best that you can do. good luck

[Erikeee]

Wow…having a baby WILL not help your relationship. Its going to put stress on it! I don’t get why females think by getting knocked is going to trap/keep a guy. Wowzers. Tell you what...ditch the bitch before you make a mistake.

[enlightenment]

she sounds nuts! good luck, and I agree with you. A child is not something to do unless you are both ready.

[hubbolicious]

first kudo's for being honest... if your not ready your not ready... I wish I had some advice to give you other than the fact go over pro's and cons in a discussion...

[Anonymous]

Ive been in your situation. I had the baby. Wasn't a good idea. We are divorced now and I really wish I hadn't made the mistake.

[pocketfullofsunshine]

Isn't having a planned child something married people do? Sounds like she just wants your sperm or else she'd be bugging you for marriage and not to have a kid.

[Anonymous]

you can try and talk to her about it with out it truning in to a fight