I wanted to know people's honest opinions about this topic. Do you think parents should spank their children? Why or Why not? I'll give my personal opinion below. Looking forward to everyone else's.
My Opinion:
Well I'm 17 in my parents house right now, this is my older sisters account. And well, I heard my mother whooping or well spanking my little sister for something. She put a timer on it. She was going to spank her every 20 minutes until she did a certain amount of work around the house. My mother did this to me and all my siblings growing up. And I can't stomach it, the screams every time I hear the belt slice through the air, and muffled crying. The thuds and slams. The choked sobbing every 20 minutes...
I just always hated spankings. My mother does it out of rage so it can last forever sometimes. And where we live it's okay to spank as long as you don't leave permanent marks or bruises. Which she has but as kids we tried to protect her. It just makes me sick, I don't know how people can stomach it at all. And honestly I don't see how it helps. You're not correctly teaching the child to do right in my opinion. You're teaching them fear. If you don't do this then you're getting this. Consequences I understand, but I feel like in order to truly teach a lesson you must help them see that they should do right because they truly feel it's the right thing to do. Every kid is different, you have to take time and learn them. Find out what makes them tick and how they learn and work from there. It's hard work but beating the shit out of them until they somehow manifest your wisedom is insane to me. They don't truly get it. They're just scared of you so they pretend they do and figure it out somewhere along the line.
Hmm i am Asian, and when i grew up i got spanked more than once. And i was technically not spanked, i was caned. Asian parents are famous for using thin , long bamboo rods for punishment. But again Asian parents will whack you with anything, I've gotten most from coat hangers to raw bamboo (dried but still,). Usually i got on my hand or buttcheek but it does go wrong sometimes. My principal caned my chest and trunk once, for pushing a kid down by accident (it did scar him tho), and worse still i got more from my parents when i got home. I've been beaten numerous times, but im already considered lucky for an Asian kid. Other kids would get feather dusters, and if their dad was the one doing the spanking theyd get a good old fashioned belt welt.
I dont really like the idea of spanking. Because pain teaches fear, not respect. In your case its called abuse. Child abuse. Now i dont know where you live so i can't give ya any helplines, maybe you van search them up?
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11 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I live in Texas, I've called the help line before and police. It's okay to spank here, and they don't care. I can have a case put against her but my mom is way more experienced she'd win instantly. Plus my sisters won't admit to anything, they love her too much and hated me for getting her in trouble last time.
But in Asian culture, especially chinese culture, if you get caned/spanked, you won't dare call any helplines or services, because the child would be too afraid, and the parents would physically abuse her/him even more.
Basically what's happening here, my mother has not personally touched me in months though. She's trying not to I think due to fear of what I might do. I'm not here most stable child and last time she hit me I told her I'd make sure she regret it. So I guess she's weighing her options with me. She doesn't whoop me anymore though, she just punches or slaps hard. Grabs my hair and things. It been a while. If she knew I called for help she'd lash out though.
Haha, I know right? And for the most part my mother doesn't really touch me. She yells and talks more now because I respond better. My punishment is like taking my phone or something stupid like that. But, we stay out each other's way so I only really get yells and threats. You're really lucky as well. I feel bad for my little sister she's at that age my mom despises so it'll be a rough next few years for her.
Spanking is just a publicly acceptable way to abuse children that idiots use. The reasoning behind it is you teach them to not do the thing you don't want them to do by punishing them with something they don't want to happen to them however it doesn't fix the root of the problem, the reason why they did the thing you don't want them to do. Just because they stopped doing that one thing in that specific instance doesn't mean that they won't do another thing for the same reason. Therapy is sometimes too expensive so spanking is used as the alternative to solve problems however spanking just breeds other problems that would require therapy to solve on top of the original problem, which would also eventually need solving.
0
1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I noticed that too, it honestly made me have a ton of therapy growing up. It's quite tragic.
either way its messed up. you are never supposed to use punishment bc you are having a bad day, its supposed to teach not a way to get your aggression out. and violence does not teach it just creates inner chaos and disaffection. when people release a lot of cortisol it literally blocks the ability to store new information, can be for days. she is whipping the kid like she's a race horse- im also against that- there is no brain activity is that. i guess if she is doing it every 20 minutes it must leave bad welts maybe take picture next time,
what is she trying to accomplish by beating her every twenty minutes?
this us not just physical abuse but psychological torture.. living under constant threat.
can you live with your aunt?
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18 Reply
Asker
+1 y
No she pulled a gun on her, and my aunt barely got away. And also, I think she just wants her to do what she said her way. My mom is live a living Mommy Dearest. She's like that.
She just got out of the case, lasted a year. I think she has minor probation and community service now. And the only thing legal is the spanking I believe, as long as it doesn't leave marks and bruises. That's what the police told me.
I don't really know how to get on really, we used to be getting constant child services meetings growing up but she always got clear. Now I have file a case but no one will stand with me so it's useless.
It's fine, I've come to terms with the for now. Just trying to finish this last year and a half up so I can move out really. I appreciate you caring so much. Really it means a lot to me.
i guess that makes sense, they dont want help and you are nearly free yourself.
i wish you all the best and i think it speaks so highly of your character that you tried so hard to help. you are a shining example of sister. good luck :-)
Sorry for all my typos, I was cooking while getting your notifications. And wow, haha thanks so much. I do tryna lot for my family, it's just hard. I'm thankful for your commentary and concerns. I suppose it was nice to talk about it for once on here too. GAG can help with that sometimes. I like it, nice people like yourself are here. Again thank you so much! I appreciate the support more than you know! And I'm following you 😆😆😆😆 hopefully that's not weird. Just want to show support back. You have a good one too, alright?
Thank you haha, I'm really into aesthetics. My older sister didn't mind either. She thinks I decorated her page nicely lol. And don't read my previous questions 😆😆😆😆😆 I hate reading my old stuff it's cringey. And I'm honored to be a follower of yours! I'll shut up now haha I can talk a person's ear off.
It's never okay when you ask me. You should call the police and get help! That's not normal or okay at all and no one of you and your siblings deserve that. That's not teaching consequences or whatever, it's not parenting , it's against humanity and no one deserves it Really honestly go get help. Like I know from my childhood that my cousin got beat once a while for her behavior but it was more of a slap on the face once instead of setting a fucking timer to beat your child with a belt.. that's sick.
I think its wrong because you should never physically be afraid of your parents. When I was between the age of 9-12 I NEVER listened to anything my parents told me to do, (I still don't) and everytime they smacked or hit me yes, I cried and it was traumatizing/scary but it never stopped me from doing things I wasn't supposed to. It just taught me to make sure they never found out. what would hurt more for me would be disappointing them or losing their trust.
"She put a timer on it. She was going to spank her every 20 minutes until she did a certain amount of work around the house." That's mental. No offense, but your mom has issues.
Children learn by example, teach them to resolve conflict with violence, teach them to fear you and it does nothing good. I don't support spanking kids. You have to explain to them, not beat on their bodies.
i think you should not make spanking a habit. however i also think that controlled physical chastisement should not be taken out of your tool belt. the important thing is to set up rules and predictable punishments that excalate and correspond with severity and quantity of disobedience so that a child can evaluate how it wants to behave.
if your punishments are very predictable and appropriate you will find yourself in a situation where your child wants to behave in the way you desire.
but again. spanking should be the very last escalation of punishment that can only be used after other effective tools failed or if the child stepped over the line way too far. however it should not be used with anger or emotinal unstableness. refrain from using it if you can't use it responsibly. we all find ourselves in such situations sometimes.
Am sorry but ur mother is too much how can she do that every 20 or more... this is bad Spanking kids is no no for me even if sometime kids stress u out find another way to punish or educate them so they will never do it again
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I have said it before and I will say it again. It is a sign of poor and lazy parenting.
It is time you stood up to this abuse. Tell your mother that soon you will be big enough to pay her back. see how she likes it!
Next time she tries it, grab her hand, look straight in her eyes, up close, and say NO!
One once a few months, IF needed (as in if the child is being really rude or needlessly immature and you NEED to stop that behaviour, yes)
Excessive and because the child wouldn't do something that you want (for whatever reason), then that's bad. And I had that happened aaaand I made my own peace by not allowing that to happen.
Gotta say, it hasn't happened since.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I think it is not wrong. I am 16, and spankings are part of discipline. They have to understand consequences if you want them to grow up right. On the other hand, many parents lose control and go way too far. i. e. If my mother was not around, I might have gotten seriously hurt if my dad lost control. Like, he would never intentionally hurt me and I love him, but he was in the military for a long time and I am VERY opinionated and we butt heads a lot, so he has gotten very mad sometimes because he has trouble dealing with stress and I cannot deal with people being mad at me. There is no reason for parents to go so far as for their kids to be outright afraid of them all of the time, but yes, especially at a young age, spanking is a necessary form of discipline.
I think spanking to some degree works. My parents did it to my siblings and I as we were trouble since we were small. We grew up to be decent adults and I know the spankings helped teach us but not to the point where we had bruises or bled. That would be too far we just got one good spank and that would be enough to scare us and never do anything wrong again but we were never terrified of our parents. Not saying it’s beneficial to all kids though you have to analyze each child on their own.
Yes, but only for extreme behaviour and the use of objects should be forbidden. If it's a smack with a bare hand on the butt is the only way I believe it to be acceptable. E. g. if your child has decided bullying is fun.
99% of the parents suck big black cock on being a decent parent.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
OMG how can you sit there and let this happen? Go call the police! Do something!! It's not okay!! Especially not with a belt!! The comments just make me sick! What's wrong with your people!! GET THE HELL OUT AND CALL THE POLICE
0
4 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I've done all that before, people have fought for us. I figured for my sister's. Where I'm at it's legal and I still live under her roof. I can't do anything really. It'll just make her more aggressive and everyone will suffer more. My mom's not fully stable, she loses her shit easily.
I mean it depends on what it is... purely judgement. No matter what it was I got the same ass kicking but I gradually did dumber stuff being bulletproof and ydfc
They learn best by example and, like my brother and I, by being encouraged to be responsible and making our own reasonable rules. It worked a dream. We knew that we would be grounded or have some other non abusive punishment if we broke our own rules. We never did.
Are you living under a rock? Where on earth is this legal? Your mother has some real issues and I'm sorry you have to go through this but do something!
I can't she'll do worse. And if I fight my sister's won't say what's happening. They'll down play it to protect her. I've tried literally everything I can.
Both of us wouldn't be able to attend school, and my mother will declare me as a runaway and or a kidnapper. Plus with no school diploma taking care of her and myself would be three times harder. No diploma, No degree, No home, No car, and no good jobs to take care of two people. Kids at that. That's if the police doesn't get us first and return us to her.
My future wife and I will spank our kids if they did something bad
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I wish you're just trolling every human with a brain should see that this is not normal. My father would smack me often but definitely not beat the shit out of me every 20 fucking minutes
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3 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Wish I was trolling, and my family know it's not normal. My mother is insane, but my siblings protect her anyway and the last time someone got in the way (My aunt) she pulled a gun on me and her. She just got out of that case and since she's a narcissist she can squeeze her way out of a lot of stuff. Plus, as I said. It's legal here. Called the police and everything. They put me in a mental hospital last year during my break down when I found out they weren't going to help me.
If beating the shit out of your child is legal then killing your psychotic mother should be legal too since she hates you all so much and does nothing for all of you.
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