Great...I'm in the friend zone aren't I?

[Jigen]

I met this Chinese exchange student girl (Sichuan province if anyone knows China) last Friday at a party and we hit it off well. We went out to lunch on Wednesday and then I invited her out to dinner and a movie. I get her on Saturday, she says the movie will have to be postponed till next weekend due to circumstances on her hand, but dinner's still on. Things seem to go good. She enjoys the meal and we have a great conversation. She shows definite signs of openness, like leaning forward, making eye contact, smiling/laughing, and actively taking part in the discussion. She even got dressed up, painted her nails, and put perfume on. She did this for our lunch together too and I haven't known her for long, so I don't know if she usually dresses up or not.

Here's where things start to look bad. At one point, she says "I feel more natural around you. Like, normally, I'm more quiet and it takes me a long time to open up to people. But with you, it just feels so natural! Normally I don't open up this quickly to people." When the check comes, she reaches for her purse and pays for her share with a second thought. I'm caught by surprise and say "Uh...do you want to split it?" which she does. I take her home and she ends the night...with a handshake. She then says "I'll see you next weekend for our movie together!" and does a little laugh as she closes the door. She does that a lot actually, like making little laughs as she's hanging up the phone and stuff.

Things seemed to be going so well, but now...well, what do you think?

[merkmerk73]

Asian girls are a bit different - if it was a white girl I would say you are 100% friend zoned because white girls play games in a certain way (they don't want you to be 'too easy' for them).

Asian girls on the other hand like to start things off slow, especially FOBs, and they want you to 'prove' your worth and affection to them.

These differences are the direct result of what girls grow up watching on TV and movies - asian dramas are all about the somewhat goofy but genuine guy chasing after the girl until she finally stops playing cold, american dramas are all about the guy that is aloof or super suave (see: dawsons creek, etc.)

Advice? Make your move fast. Go for physical contact by touching her back and don't be afraid of her reaction - if she doesn't dig it means you have no chance, if she doesn't care then you're good.

[browolf]

don't think it's game over yet like it might be with a western girl but you do need to make your intentions clearer. If she dresses up again tell her she looks pretty when you meet her, take her hand lead her to the cinema, if she's likes you that way, she'll go along with it, take her somewhere romantic after the movie, see how it goes whether you can get to kiss her.

[Hippy]

I can't see anything that puts you in the friend zone, the little laugh probley a nerve thing. I think next time as well like the other guy says try holding her hand, if she pulls away then you will know if she sees you as a friend or a date. You do need to be clear with her that it is date tho, hope this helps good luck.

[Cloud9]

No way I don't think you're in the friend zone. But don't let her split the check again, that's internationally known as a "friendly" thing. Have the waiter give you the bill directly, don't show it to her, and if she's going for her purse, ignore her.

[Arwens-Fire]

It doesn't seem as though you are in the friend zone,you guys are still getting to know one another. The next time you go out,pick up the bill.:)

[Gregs]

well you probably could have made your intention clear by taking her by the hand at least if not making out with her, just do that the next time you see her, when you meet her to go for a movie take her by the hand and go there

[Anonymous]

so, I don't know if this situation will help you understand the way Asian women think, but I know a foreign exchange student from China, and a boy hugged her and she thought they were dating. So I think you are more than friends.