He constantly mentions having children?

[HotPepper302]

I'm crazy about the guy that I'm seeing, and I can tell that the feeling's mutual.

Lately, he's been talking a lot about how I'd make an amazing mother, what he thinks he'd be like as a parent, how many kids he wants to have, how many kids I want to have, when I'd want to start having children, etc.

Among the things he's said in our conversation have been: "I think my parenting skills will depend a lot on the kind of kids I have (I was about to write "we have" ahaha)." And "you have some great genes; don't waste 'em! ;) "

Is he hinting that he can see himself having a family with me?

Updates

+1 y

LOL I think this question was misinterpreted... We are not planning on having kids anytime soon. I plan on graduating and establishing a career, as well as getting married before I'd even consider. I just mean... Does this mean that he can seriously see himself having a family with me ONE DAY? Thanks for your input, though!

[Darkfairie17]

I would be very careful. Don't jump the gun with this guy and have kids because he is talking about him. I know a guy that wants kids sounds promising, but it may end up being you raising the kids by yourself as he finds himself a new woman if you guys jump in too quickly. I have seen this happen before. It's better to build a foundation.

Here's what you need to do. When he starts talking about kids again, I would ask him what he is prepared to do to become ready for kids. Saying things like "I think my parenting skills will depend on the kinds of kids I have" does not sound very mature, or that he knows exactly what it takes to raise kids. He can't blame his parenting skills good or bad on his kids. That is not realistic. He is the adult, it is his responsibility to be a stable, responsible, good father no matter what. Kids will be defiant, they will kick and scream and throw tantrums if they don't get what they want. It is up to the parents to teach them proper behavior and use proper punishments.

If he really wants kids, he should be prepared to do what it takes to become ready for them. That might mean saving money, getting a better job, some more education, or even getting married. You want to make sure he is going to stick by you through this. I know some guys will talk about kids just to get a girl thinking he is ready to commit, and then when he gets what he wants, he will leave. I'm not saying that is your situation, we don't know. But just be careful. Insist on a further committment first before having kids, that way you will know he isn't playing around.

[lucyloo]

He could be, he could also be trying to find out what you think about children. It may be something he feels strongly about, and if he thought you didn't want them, or knew you didn't want them, that might change his mind about being with you. I really want children, and if my partner said he definitley didn't want them, I'd have to really decide I could be in the relationship knowing it was never going to be an option.

If you do want them, but you are a bit concerned he's mentioning it so soon in to the relationship, why don't you joke that you do want them but not right now. This way he'll see you want them, but get that he's probably going on about it too much and too soon.

[HotPepper302]

Haha oh he already knows that I want them, and that I don't want to have them for at least another 5 years.

[lucyloo]

Well, in that case I'd say he sees you as the one for him. If he's dreaming of the future with you and seeing kids, that's usually a good sign. Most men I've either dated, or just spoken to on the subject, say they want kids, but wouldn't want their gfs banging on about it :P

[Twinkle101]

my boyfriend started asking the same questions when we first started going out when we saw other little kids... he started saying 'our kids' when refrencing how he would want his kids raised... and to be frank, I did not mind in the least... I just blushed and asked him later if he saw a future with me and he said that he thinks that this relationship could go on for an eternity and I don't mind.

[Slugworth99]

It sounds like he is wanting to jump a few squares on the game board of life. The two of you need to concentrate on the foundation of your relationship. You need to be a good couple before you can be a good set of parents. That's the problem with too many marriages these days. They are not friends or even much of a couple. When children are thrown into the mix, their weak relationship becomes really strained - divorce city.

I didn't want to be married before 25 and no kids before 30. I can tell you that I am very happy with having met both of my goals. My wife and I have our 20 year anniversary this year.

Has the subject of marriage been talked about? If he is talking about children without marriage, you are really going to want to consider this relationship. Even if you are one of those couples who thinks that marriage is outdated, having children outside of wedlock has some legal issues to it. Marriages helps to ensure both of your committment to a child. If one of you "tires of the relationship and wants space" and just leaves [without marriage], it is going to be harder to legally make that person responsible for his / her child. I personally think marriage is still very real when it is good and the best place to raise a child.

Take this relationship back to the drawing board and re-examine the steps most people take leadiing up to children. Don't jump ahead. You may fall backwards.

[Slugworth99]

If he is not wanting to jump over everything else like you mentioned in your update, I would say that he is really wanting a family some day. Is he an only child? Only children sometimes want multiple children since they know the downsides of an only child. How about life growing up? Happy or unhappy? Perhaps we wants to avoid how he grew up or have a family like he had growing up. Question him nicely about it. Do a bit of soul searching / digging.

[solitaire]

Personally I do that sometimes but that's just my thoughts wandering. Not interested in having children anytime soon but I do wonder about it a lot. Maybe he sees it coming in the nearish future as he is obviously closer to the age when you have kids than I am but it doesn't necessarily mean he is hinting at having babies with you. You'd be suprised at the things that guys say that sound like hints that really aren't hints at all because he didn't even realize it could come out sounding like a hint... what it probably does mean tho is that you are a catalyst for those thoughts so definitely the idea of having babies with you doesn't repel him in anyway so he is probably serious about you so that's a good thing :)

[Anonymous]

It would seem that way. I find it a little bit strange that someone in the 18-24 age range is already talking about having babies and starting a family though... Kind of a heavy subject matter to talk about when you're relatively young and inexperienced when it comes to life and love. Shouldn't you be gaga for each others' company and not wanting little rugrats in the immediate picture? Aren't you both school and career-oriented right now? Especially during this economy, it's not the smartest time to invest all of your meager, hard earned wages to diapers and formula.



But how long have you been dating? Sure, this conversation might make sense when you're committed and looking to the future. But to bring it up prematurely just doesn't sit right with me.

[HotPepper302]

I'm not interested in having kids for at least another 5 to 10 years! He's older than me, though... It didn't just come out of nowhere... We're currently long-distance and have been playing the "question game." That's how it started. But now he doesn't seem to want to drop the subject. I know that he's in no rush to have children either, which is why I also found it odd that he kept talking about it. I just got accepted into my first choice Master's program, and don't want to settle down until..

[HotPepper302]

... I'm financially independent. We also haven't been dating for very long (only a few months) -- another reason why it caught me off guard. I didn't post this question out of excitement, but rather, out of confusion! lol. Anyway, thanks for your answer! :)

[Opinion Owner]

Oh, I understand then. I'm glad to see you aren't wanting to rush into anything. And I guess if it came up randomly and he won't drop it that it's a big compliment to you that he could see you as the mother of his children. Whatever the case, I wish you luck with your long-distance relationship and getting your Master's. Neither is an easy feat.

[HotPepper302]

Thank you!

[foolycooly1001]

this isn't hinting. a hint is when you talk around something. he is talking to you about having kids. it couldn't be more obvious.

don't worry about what people like enchanted think. the average marriage and pregnancy age for women in the us is 25

[LilPinkGirl]

awe man now I feel like an ugly old hag...all the cute pretty 25 year olds are out having babies and I'm 26 with no husband or no baby on the way =(

[willytheg]

Ask him what responsibilities he's planning on assuming once kid(s) come along. I hope he doesn't like going out with the guys a couple times a week because that will be over. The idea of kids is far different from sleepless nights, changing diapers, going to the pediatrician more often than you ever dreamed of, giving up your favorite things for someone else's, etc. It's not all Hallmark card episodes.

[bayern]

yes, it means that's what he wants. it's like the other guy said: he's not hinting, he's saying it outright.

your profile says 18-24 but you're 26? Median average age of first marriage in the USA is 25 for women and 27 for men. If you're not married by that age, your odds of ever being married are officially below 50%. :)

[smokahontas]

he sees a possibility of you as his life partner and when he said you have great genes, he's basically saying that your beautiful

[ArtistBboy]

Very direct answer. +1

[Jakenv21]

he sees you as a life partner. any guy that will openly say this stuff thinks of you as more than just a girlfriend.

[tyt_2012]

Maybe, you won`t know for sure unless you ask him. we can only help you so much on here.

[martyfellow]

Since he's older than you and knows you are starting a master's program and all, I think he's hiniting gently that your relationship is temporary and you should be thinking of finding someone close to your own age before too long. He sounds a little wistful to me. Maybe he has someone older in mind that he is ready to start a family with...

[HotPepper302]

I don't know... He always talks about our future together... Anything from "once you finish your program, then we can bike across Canada together!" to "I'll still be in love with your when you're old and grey." He shows no signs of interest in anyone else, or of wanting to leave. If anything, he's more attached than I am. He hasn't settled into a career yet, so we're in similar phases in our lives, really, regardless of age. I just think he's seeing his friends settle down and it affects him.

[martyfellow]

Maybe, but then why is he sounding like he's giving parting advice, like 'Don't waste your genes..'

[HotPepper302]

I think he means that I should have children. Wasting my genes would entail not putting my genes to use/not having kids.

[martyfellow]

His kids or someone else's though?

[HotPepper302]

Woahhh haha... I broke up with this guy in August. Doesn't matter anymore :P Thanks, though!

[kimsparrow]

well it sounds like someone is very enthusiastic about having children. and of course he wants you two to have a family together. do you feel the same way though?

[nermalinda]

It sounds like he wants to breed with you.

[HotPepper302]

LOL

[vocalheiress]

hahahaha^

[nohamrat]

I think he loves you and wants to have your babies! ;D

[ThickRick]

No, he wants a family with someone else.

[Gettinghelp]

Undoubtedly

[kalbinur]

i think he wants a family with you ~

[Anonymous]

sounds like it