My boyfriend cried on the phone once?

[Anonymous]

ok, so, this was when we first started dating. my ex had just moved back and I saw him at the gym a few times. he was asking me to hang out so we could catch up. I told him well I still have my same number or whatever but I can't promise anything because I'm usually always busy. well this was a while back. and about 3 weeks ago I see him again when I went out to lunch with my boyfriend. I have no clue why my boyfriend would invite him to join us but he did. and when I asked him later on why he did that, he said because he seems like a cool guy.. still odd to me.. but anyways.. so we had lunch and stuff and they got along great! but as we were all leaving my ex shook my bf's hand and hugged me goodbye. as he walked away he turned and pointed at me and said, "smoothies next week?" and I just smiled and looked at my boyfriend and said, "haha we'll see" and that was that. he then texted me about 3 days later about the smoothies. I told my boyfriend and he said, "so join him, you guys seem like good friends." so I decided why the hell not then I guess... so a week and a half later we finally grabbed smoothies together. what I thought was just going to be a friendly catching up, definitely was not. he was asking me what it was I saw in my boyfriend now, and he's short and I can do better. he told me he was still in love with me and was basically comeing clean and just throwing his feelings out there on the table. I honestly did not know what to say to him. I just told him "you know, look... I'm sorry.. you clearly see I'm in a relationship. I'm not going to talk to you about my feelings toward him knowing that you still have feelings for me. thatd be too hard, I know. but I can't keep in contact with you either knowing this. its just going to cause things to get a little weird and neither of us need that in our lives." he told me he just needed to let me know before he left back to illinois again though. that's where he goes to school. I didn't really talk to my boyfriend for 2 days other then texting because he's always busy because he's in the navy. but then he called me one night and was like o howd it all go.. and I told him and when I told him I started to cry, he didn't understand why I was crying and kept asking me why and I had no answer because I didn't know why I was either. he started asking me "do you still love him?" and I said no because I don't but I don't know I just don't get why I was crying.. and over the phone I could here it in his voice, he was trying to fight it but he couldn't and he started crying! I didn't know what to say or how to react.. but it definitely caught me off guard and I stopped crying... I told him look there's nothing to worry about.. but the thought of him crying is really getting to me! I don't understand why he started crying? maybe the thought that he thought I was going to leave him? I just font know.

[TheSavageTruth]

You're in the range of 18-24 and you can't fathom why your boyfriend would cry?

after you cry after the last he'd heard youd gone on another amorous date with your ex?

Put two together and tell me what the first thing anyone with a brain will conclude. That you cheated.

Not to mention how the hell do you think it feels for him to watch you hug and set up dates in front of him countless times? How do you think he feels in terms of value? He broke down because he's been trying to be nice, not objecting to you making your own decisions, when the whole time you've mostlikely neglected his signals that he really wasn't okay with you going out with your ex.

#1 rule in a relationship: If you have an ex, and he's around - you need to evaluate your significant others body language. Don't just take their words.

"so join him, you guys seem like good friends". What else can he say here without coming off like a douchebag, especially with your ex twisting you as is? knowing with how youve behaved so far in this post, I wouldn't be surprised if he did object that you asked a question wondering why he was so upset over this when you didn't even do anything with your ex.

Thats not the point. Its all the other shit. He's your ex. That implies more than friendship was once there. Especially when you're going on rapid fire dates.

My personal rule I tell all my friends is if a girl still messes with their ex, peace on it. Its a messy situation - you guys have a fight, guess whos door gets opened? You break up, guess whos potential door #1? there's generally hardly room for remedy especially when an ex is in the picture. I learned all of this because a great deal of my friends are female, and I watch how the ones handle themselves who have been in successful relationships. Im talking from both personal and seen experiences.

Im not trying to be rude, you just need to open your eyes and needed to hear some realtalk. Thats why my username is the way it is.

Your boyfriend really cares for you, and hopefully thats noticable after you read this.

He broke down because he cares so much for you, thats the only reason a guy would ever cry when something ISN'T the matter. He doesn't want to lose you, or fears he may already has as the guy above mentioned since you broke down crying for " no reason " post-date with ex.

Good Luck.

[Hyleck]

Your boyfriend has big balls to be trusting his current Girlfriend to be hanging around her ex.

Exes are nothing but trouble for current partners. If you value your relationship with this current Boyfriend don't be going out on dates with your ex.

Your Boyfriend started crying because he is obviously a bit on the more sensitive spectrum and he was maybe realizing that allowing you to play around with your might or has already bitten him in the ass.

Most guys don't like hearing their GF"s cry. Some guys react accordingly.

[ItalianBro]

The only reason to keep in contract with an ex is because one of them is still in love and wants to get back together or one of them wants to try and keep the sex. Stop talking to your ex boyfriend, don't go out on dates with him, don't try to be friends with him, etc... that settles that issue...