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If I may, I would like to conduct a small experiment to try and help you understand the current mindset of your friend:-
Picture yourself as someone who is suffering badly from a lack of confidence (a common trait among depressives) Your best friend and you have made plans for this weekend, so it has been playing on your mind that you want, no you NEED for everything to go smoothly. The build up of pressure on you is so immense that you simply want to lock yourself away until you feel more confident again. You think it is easier to make up a plausible lie to your friend then tell her the truth which might make her think less of you.
At the very last second, you decide you need to get out of the house but you've already lied to your best friend, so it is easier to make arrangements with someone else.
I'm not necessarily saying that is what definitely happened, BUT depression can make you take decisions that to other people look devoid of rationality!
What would I do next? I would ask her:-
Why she thought so little of me she had to lie?
Nope. Fake friend.
Someone with INTEGRITY will not do that period.
Well ghosting her will hurt and maybe then she’ll start being a decent human being. So don’t give that bitch any more of your concern just as she didn’t when she chose someone else over you and blatantly lied about it!!
My biggest pet peeves are lying and excuses especially if they are super obvious ones. Your “friend’s” excuse of it was last minute is bullshit. I for example would still text you if my mood changed and decided to go out. I still invited friends most of the time even when I know it’s not something they are into so they won’t feel excluded.
It would have been better to handle it more calmly for sure but in the moment it feels good (I understand) but what’s done is done. Regardless it doesn’t change the outcome which is if she’s lying and making excuses she doesn’t value you as a friend and it’s better to walkaway.
You did the absolutely right thing for yourself there. Congratulations on knowing how to respect yourself.
Something similar happened to me also, where my ex friend was struggling with mental health issues and she’d ALWAYS postpone or say she’ll be an hour late because she’s still caught up at her therapist or she didn’t know she’s take longer with her cousin whom she was seeing before me etc. I let it slide a few times, then one day I had enough and I said “I don’t think we should talk anymore. I can’t have people like you in my life”. I knew for a fact she was doing it intentionally, because one day SHE chose the day AND picked the time, but she STILL postponed to an hour later as she had always done lol I was laughing so hard. I’m not easily attached to people anyway, so I “dumped” that friendship and now I don’t have that nagging feeling in the back of my head knowing something isn’t right with that girl. Now I don’t have that anymore and I was able to replace her with more likeminded girlfriends.
You did the right thing here.
Yes, definitely. She sounds fake. And unrelated, but if that’s you in your pfp than you’re gorgeous!
Opinion
31Opinion
I’ve noticed that young females tolerate a lot more shitty, selfish and flaky behavior from their other female friends then guys do. Even young men don’t tolerate this bs long. Why are you loyal to someone who acts this way? Smdh.
She needs to know their are consequences to her behavior. I would disassociate from her. If she asks you what happened then give her the straight up hard truth. Seriously she needs to hear that.
As angry as I get at women for “friendzoning” guys I’m beginning to understand why so many women want guyfriends. Men are generally much more reliable and honest when it comes to this crap. If we have a “friend” who is being a punkass we won’t stay buddies with him long. We have deeper expectations when it comes to respect.
She messaged me saying “I shouldn’t have to justify myself to you why I was out with holly. She Invited me out last minute, anyway you’ve cancelled on me before”
So I just ignored the message? Don’t you think it’s better that I don’t respond to her again or even waste my energy on her
It’s not easy cutting off a friend especially if it’s a friend who have known for a very long time. I recently had to distance myself from a long time buddy of 12 years. He’s (slightly) sociopathic. He’s good at giving these “I’m sorry but not sorry” apologies. At my age I don’t have time or patience for this crap. I’m independent.
Anyway her response gave you the answer you needed. Just read between the lines. She values Holly more than she values you.
I would just not say anything and do your own thing. If she reaches out to you just tell her you wish her the best but you want to go along your own way. It’s about self respect.
If she does reach out to you in the future and apologies watch what she says carefully. If she apologies and then asks for a favor then it wasn’t genuine. She doesn’t respect you.
I know this sucks. But trust me if you act tough and go on your own way it will knock some sense into her.
Just imagine being a guy and trying to date young women who act this way? Lol.
Actually hurts knowing that she prefers holly more than me. I should have saw the signs because she’d often moan and say “holly lives over 2 hours away from me I feel alone” and I’m like hello, you got me? 🙄 & her response would be “it’s nothing personal about you, I just miss holly” She never appreciated me clearly
I know it sucks. It’s a horrible feeling being rejected. But you can’t control how people think unfortunately. But you can control self respect. If you walk away you will eventually feel better about yourself.
Do you have a boyfriend? If not I would consider at least finding a guy to be friends with benefits with. He can give you some rational advice on this.
You know the answer because you know what your gut is telling you. When someone is going through something they can be isolated and I know because I feel the same way as her. Sometimes when your mental health is bad you only want to be around people who naturally uplift you, so you’ve gotta ask yourself what kind of energy you bring to your friendship with her. I’m just keeping it real - I understand you’re hurt but why block her and start this kind of drama? If she constantly blows you off then let it be and move on.
Lol so it is something personal then? She kept saying it wasn’t anything personal and that when she’s low she doesn’t wanna bring others down with her mood yet she’s out with another friend. Come in you seem naive.. the mental health was an excuse.. she just didn’t wanna say “I prefer being around my other friend than you”
It’s mad cause we spent each other’s birthdays together and she said “I love spending time with you” and she goes and hangs with this friend who lives 2 hours away
Just my opinion, but I think people should be friends with those who want the best for them. If she shows reason that she really cares about you, then that's friendship material I think. I don't believe "whether they lie to you or not" to be a good indicator for friends because sometimes people lie to try and not hurt someone else's feelings. For example, maybe she wanted to hang out with another friend that night cuz she missed them, but didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you she was choosing one over another. I'm not saying that the way she handled it was great, but I don't think that solely makes her a bad person. She may have had good intentions and only messed up. We all do, sometimes.
But that's just my opinion. I hope whatever you choose, you feel happy moving forward.
In a way I feel you did the right thing as she seemed to as you say looked like she was caught, I feel that for your sake that she could of just been honest and it would of been easier on both of you. She did seem like she lied about her depression at the point in time which is kinda sad in a way
That's happened to me several times, too and it pisses me off!! She can't even let me come over to hang with her for this reason or that but, when I call later to find out if she's okay, or what have you, I find out she went out for the rest of the day with friends of hers!! I prefer not to hang around with people I can't trust!
Seems a bit over dramatic to me.
Maybe she's closer to that friend than you?
If I'm depressed or stressed I won't hang out with certain friends, but I'll assists hang out with my best friend. She's the only one who calms me and makes me feel better. Maybe that "Holly" person was going through a hard time as well.
Maybe she changed her mind?
Or perhaps, in her current state, she feels more comfortable with this other friend !
If this is a regular thing, break away from her.
But if it’s a one off, see what she had to say.
I appreciate you feel hurt, but knowing why she changed her mind might help.
Maybe there is something going on that is none of your business. Maybe that friend had a private personal issue.
If you aren't getting what you want out of the relationship, drop it, but you don't know what is going on in another person's life.
Did you ask her what was bothering her, or just argued with her? Do you guys argue a lot? Sometimes with mild depression you you just don't want any confrontation. Maybe Holly cheered her up and talked her into doing something that would help her get out of her depressed mood.
Or she could just be an ass. you will never know if you just block her. Depression really sucks
Yes cut her off I wouldn't speak to her ever again.
No like why did she lie to you and then hang out with another friend that's horrible
Awesome like screw her
Cut her off! I’d just reply with “good luck” don’t say nothin else and block and delete.
Tons of people out there.
If she thinks her shit don’t stink? Then forget her.
“Love you too girl” these are backhand comments.
She’s a very selfish / selfish girl.
Girls who constantly complementing each other, or condescending /fake people.
I will not always let people know that I know they’re lying.
I mean some people just rather not hang out. Of course saying hey like that wasn't a good idea. It just makes you look weird, best to ignore her and confront later. Honestly she may have been depress and would rather have been with a much closer friend than you. Maybe that friend she was with was family or something who knows.
I think you where too dramatic, you didn't even give her a chance to explain, why would you do such a terrible thing knowing what she's going through. I'm sure there is a simple explanation. You should know that people that have an unstable mental health need understanding, in every way.
If her depression was that bad why did she hang out with another friend instead of saying “you know what Jade I’m feeling better now let’s meet up like we were meant to”
Come on, she knew what she was doing. And her excuse was “it was last minute” … last min or not… she cancelled on me because she was feeling low about not having many friends and what does she do.. ditched one friend for another
I think you have never been through depression to truly understand this issue. According to me she does not even deserve you as a friend. CRUEL and COLD without even letting her TRY. Well done
Yes it can happen, i think you should reed about this issue, depression is not controllable, people with depression cannot decide, they are just BLANK, and they need understanding. Through this act you might have worsened her situation just saying.
Yes you have the right to demand respect, but not through a BLOCK, maybe tell her that she can hit on you whenever she wants to and you will be there, do not PRESS HER to play dress up with you nobody should be pressed...
I am so sorry about that. I have experienced something similar many many years ago when I was a teenager. I remember I cut her off immediately.
I mean, honestly, it was just a white lie. I wouldn’t feel too bad about it. A lot of people fib because they don’t want to seem like jerks. Realistically, she probably just didn’t want to hang out with you on that day and maybe this Holly girl wanted to do something with her that seemed a lot more fun.
SHE IS A LYING SNAKE.
Glad you cut her off.
The truth is, she finds you boring and that's why she preferred to hang out 'in the city with another girl she clicks better with'.
you're better than me lol I would have pretended I didn't see her
she wasn't in the mood to hangout and made a bad excuse, I say leave her alone if she does this often. Friendship is about being honest and making memories together.
Yes, I would cut all ties with her, that's a terrible thing what she's done to you
You're right for cutting her off. Sounds like a shitty person who doesn't really respect you.
In my experience the people that complain about having no friends are the people that treat their friends like shit therefore they have no friends. It looks like that's what it is.
She did lied but not sure if you should have been so dramatic about it maybe her mood would not fit your but another friend would fit her better on this day. People are humans and this type of reaction I would not have friends but maybe a relationship maybe you are into her?
No this type of reaction is completely normal when you respect yourself and have high standards hun
Cut your lose, find friends with similar values or standards that make you better person
Some depressive people tend to be very selfish and care less about other people's feelings, some forget that other people also feel bad and down sometimes, a friendship is built by both friends caring for each other and helping each other.
Well if she's your friend and she can't even be honest with you, we can't say she's a real friend, or you have to ask her for clarification
Yes, you were totally right. She's a trashy person. Good riddance to her.
People who are manic depressive can often act that way.
Really?
you were right to cut her off. she is not your friend.
She isn't your real friend so you should ignore her and move on, not worth your time and attention
Given your dramatic self-centered poor-me behavior your friend is more than within her rights to stay away from you. Particularly if she is indeed stressed out as you would do nothing but contribute to it - as proven by your childish behavior.
Do her a favour & get lost. Holly is more likely a stable friend, hence why they were hanging out, and good for her.
@priv9696 - my statement is based off of your childishness in the screenshot. Poor me, poor me, my friend didn't want to hang out with me. Wahhh wahhh. Like a baby.
Did you ever entertain the idea that she had prior plans with Holly before you asked? Hmm.. Course not because you're the sort to think only of yourself.
Omg we planned this weekend weeks ago and she agreed! She then said “I’m feeling lonely and don’t feel like I’ve got many friends, my mental health is bad let’s cancel” and then a few days later… I see her with Holly. I just wish people would be honest. She prefers hanging out with holly. I get it. But just be honest and don’t use mental health as an excuse
Tell her that if she didn't wanna be friends than she couldve just said that. She could possibly be with a therapist etc. But id talk to her about it first
It seems like she was being dishonest, but you have to give people a chance. If she keeps doing that, then drift away from her because she isn't a real friend anyways.
Block her for a week or so just to let her know it was a crappy thing she did to a friend.
She is not mentally balanced and maybe this friend would never end. Could be they have more in common. I think much too dramatic.
Her friend probably comforting her and you'd do no good in cutting her off. But I don't know her may just be a bitch
You sound annoying and I would probably hang out with another friend too.
OH
MY
GOD.
look at the incredible breasts on this woman. Damn honey... sup wit you? 😉
Ignore her you will slowly fall apart and all will be forgotten
Yes
I think you create the wall in the relationship of you and her slowly slowly
I would definitely cut her off and is never hanging out with her again
You did the right thing!
Don't over think just move on and meet new friends who are worth being around with.
She's a liar and was a fake friend. Just move on.
Sounds like you both need to grow up
OMG. What a fabulous pair of tits you have. May I please ask what size you are.
Tbh I think how you confronted her was an unhealthy way for you to react.
How so?
At the end of the day if its mental health thats what you got. If your friend blows you off for depression... well do you still want to be blown off? I wouldn't be friends with them anyways.
@bamesjond0069 it was clearly a personal issue with me else she wouldn’t have met up with her other friend. I’m done with her for food
Priv, maybe she likes you but finds you a bit dramatic and decided she didn't feel up to dealing with it that day (possibly for mental health reasons with her dissertation etc). And maybe she didn't feel comfortable just telling you because this is the way you react to things. I don't think either of you handled this very well, honestly.
You sound as immature as can be. Good for you for ending the friendship -she deserves a better friend than you in her life.
@LeafLover What a moron you are lmaooo
If it was me I'd spank her. Then I'd dump her.
Did you spank her? 😋😍😂
was this a male friend? :-)
Then she is loser - only excuse for that kind of lie is some booty.
Block, delete, next
UNBLOCK and just do your own thing
Maybe she forgot didn't want hurt your feelings
That bitch!!
Still... that bitch
Yes... of course
Just reply her ok.. and leave it.. u dont have to justify neither does she
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