So, I live in boarding house, I have 7 friends who go to college with me and we're in the same floor. My boarding house have 3 floors, and each floor only have 1 kitchen. I have kitchen stuff and my friends have it too. But, one of my friends always use my pan without my permission and I don't like it. She say that she okay if someone use her stuff but honestly I don't, I don't like it when she use my pan or my bowl or my plate cuz I also never use her stuff. I'm not comfortable with this. I really don't get it, why is she always use my stuff when actually she have the whole stuff. Also, when she borrow my stuff, she never give it back to me or my stuff will gone. This is the reason why I don't like borrow my things to her because I know that she never give it back to me after she borrow it.
Is this normal if I don't feel comfortable when she use my stuff? Or maybe I am just selfish and stingy?
Are there's any of you feel something like this too?
Ever notice the people that drive the newest cars and have the most expensive house want to borrow the most stuff? I do. These people that borrow stuff become attached to it and never want to return it, or they say they returned it already, or the screw it up and you have to pay to fix it. I usually have to track down my stuff and become a prick to get it back. I am still out $$ on some expensive equipment. I have concluded that people that have the gall to ask to borrow, have no respect for your stuff.
In a shared rented house years ago, I discovered a girl had borrowed one of my used hoodies a few times. I couldn't find it a few times, then noticed she had it in her bedroom.
A guy actually used my clean bath towels, thankfully not used towels, but it was still weird.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
It's normal, but could also be OCD People never respect others belonging and many times have returned my stuff broken I hide my pans from my dad because he always scratches them up and never clean it so you're right to be upset it's YOURS
People should respect other's belongings. Talk to your friend about this, her taking your things and don't returning them to you is not okay. Or just take your things into your room and keep them locked in.
Maybe you can walk around wearing her panties for a hat. No one touches my shit though. I got that established even with my wife and closest friends. You just gotta come on strong enough and make it clear that they're going to die mysteriously if they mess with your stuff.
No way, its because that's the point where you realize you are being used and your "friendship" is bullshit.
We are cool with superficial friends outside the home environment because we have that need for socialization. In the home, nope - you know they are using you and it really pisses you off.
Sometimes i tend to have a deep connection to object. Depending on how long I've had it or how often I've used it so i wouldn't like to lend it to someone and if i did the thought of how soon ill get it back will cross my mind lots of times.
Because you're more conservative when it comes to your belongings. And a certain amount of disgust is felt when people violate the boundaries. I am the same way.
I hate lending people my power tools. I tell them I will come to their house and fix whatever it is they need to have fixed. I have loaned expensive tools to people and they always come back broken.
I am the opposite. I really don't give a shit even if they won't remember to return them.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I am kinda like you but that rule doesn't apply to my close friends. If they're your roommates, i see no reason to not share stuff especially if you have used their stuff at times.
You have to put difference with your stuff and her stuff. Tell her don't take my stuff, please give my stuff back, and please stop being rude. You have to stand to stop her from hurting you.
