Do you agree indian families mostly want free servant as their daughter in law?

[fonduegirl]

[PrettyPriya]

I do not agree with this as a generalization. I believe what is being asked does happen as it is considered a wife’s duty in lots of cultures to cook clean, etc.

I’m sure somewhere with someone you can make this claim in any country. To characterize it as an “Indian” thing.

I think a lot of the view might be because of class. The higher social status, the more the “adults” or head of household have things taken care of for them.

Lower social status may appear to be a servant but it is actually out of necessity rather than intent. Yes, there can be expectations to get things done, but always a reason why to do them.

My mum certainly wasn’t a “servant” when she first married and she was more middle class as it relates to India. My father was upper class. She had a very normal life.

I think there are way too many factors and circumstances to generalize it down to marriage and in-law status as it relates to household duties even.

[Still-alive]

Very interesting take. Thanks!

[loves2learn]

@PrettyPriya did your parents have a love marriage or arranged marriage?

[PrettyPriya]

@loves2learn I wouldn’t call it arranged but introduced and encouraged?

[loves2learn]

Ok. That makes sense. :)

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you for mhg! 🙏🙏❤️

[Azura_88]

Not only a free servant but also a graduate who will obey the so called elders, cook, make them look good in society, manage finances, maids and COMPULSORY TO get pregnant. That too minimum two kids.

[Starwitch23]

God! You are scaring me I got a marriage proposal yesterday.

[Azura_88]

@Starwitch23 just know the groom's family well. Do they value boundaries?
Or do they expect you to do certain things which might be not so comfortable for you?
You're only 23 and might have other dreams as well. Have they considered that?

[Starwitch23]

Yeah exactly. Thank you for telling me that. I'll surely keep those things in my mind.

[fonduegirl]

@Starwitch23 congrats, may you have a fabulous married life !

[Starwitch23]

Oh no, it's just a proposal. I'm too young to get married

[fonduegirl]

All right :)

[eminde]

Free servants? Ofc not
Parents spend their entire lives investing everything into their kids (every gender)
So they expect that their child’s partner should be able to take care of their son/daughter
It’s nothing but natural for a guy’s parent to make sure that if any uncertainties happen (machine stops working or if maid won’t be able to visit) his wife can handle the situation and husband should help his partner in such conditions too
And girl’s parents makes sure that the guy she’s marrying makes decent figures and in any unfortunate crisis (like pandemics and lockdowns) he can take care of their beloved daughter and make sure all her demands are fulfilled (I know that their daughter can earn too but we’re talking about Indian parents, we all know that they look for a rich son in law…a financially stable one at least)
In a way marriage is a form of slavery 🤷‍♂️

[SunnySensei]

I don't agree with that at all Miss, I won't say there aren't a few who think like that but there are families who treat them like daughter too.

[SunnySensei]

Thank you for the MHO miss

[serious]

That is true. It is still very true even though times are changing. Even in these modern times, modern families, parents exist in metro cities or other big cities and hence development is restricted mostly to this part of Indian but majority of India doesn't fall under this category. Our society, parents and people still have not evolved enough to understand things.

Yes, there are many Indian families who still think of their daughter in law as their free servant. It is sad but it is true.

[Raj4655]

But indian girl family also want Rich and good looking guy...
So both sides have some idiot family

[fonduegirl]

Can't disagree

[Raj4655]

Hmm..

[Yellovv]

Yes maybe, but indian girls look after their husbands very well...

[Tstrbrainer]

And fuck other men behind his back 😅

[Yellovv]

@Tstrbrainer how you know that?

[Tstrbrainer]

Because they don't have much options unless living in an urban area.

Marriage is often out of pressure. So what do you expect?

[Yellovv]

I heard about something, they maybe married very young age, maybe for that reason they are cheating their husbands..

[Tstrbrainer]

Age differs according to communities, but marriage is given high importance to a point where it's enforced

[Tstrbrainer]

Enforced by people, relatives

[Yellovv]

Why they forcing young indian girls to get married?

[fonduegirl]

Because it's "the best thing to do"

[Yellovv]

@anon1903 why?

[fonduegirl]

Because it was applicable in older times are we don't have balls to make new norms

[Yellovv]

İnteresting but funny in same time, because you said we don't have balls, yeah that's true ☺️☺️

[fonduegirl]

😔😔😔😔😔

[Yellovv]

@anon1903 why you are sad about it?

[fonduegirl]

I'd meet the same fate

[Yellovv]

Are you married?

[fonduegirl]

I'll be after graduation

[Yellovv]

But I see that some indian girls wearing toe rings, do you have that?

[fonduegirl]

No. I'm kinda tomboy.

[Yellovv]

Why they wearing toe rings like that?

[convo_king89]

Free servant? Like making sandwiches and doing laundry but not pay her any money.

[the_sinner]

There are many Indian families who want their daughter in laws not as servants but as caregivers. Though both the roles have almost similar work.

[Still-alive]

Is it true @PrettyPriya @azura_88 ?

[Azura_88]

Mostly in lower class or middle class.
In rich class you already have a big house and lots of servants.
Depends on the mother in law as well. Most of them have tensions with their daughter in law.
Nowadays they expect a girl to be a graduate but at the same time to look after home, finances, elders and cook for guests.

[Still-alive]

@Azura_88 sounds like a lot of pressure

[Azura_88]

Idgaf about the family. I'll only marry if his family leaves both of us alone. Obeying and pleasing people is just not my style. I'll even ignore them if needed.

[Still-alive]

@Azura_88 no bs attitude. i like it ;)

[fonduegirl]

@azura_88 same

[Still-alive]

alos @Starwitch23

[Starwitch23]

I mean it depends the kind of inlaws you get. The Indian women have lot of pressure especially if they are career oriented and living with the inlaws. That's why know your inlaws better.

[Starwitch23]

You don't marry the person but also you've to marry their circumstances.

[Still-alive]

@Starwitch23 i see. very different from the U. S.

[Starwitch23]

Sure, it is.

[fonduegirl]

And last point, US at least has the policy "son, go east" which means "mom, you stay west" (something like that, from Bob Hearts Abishola) but here in India, if you move out from your parents'house, you're a douche!

[Azura_88]

@anon1903 yes you're an untrustworthy and ungrateful child if you move out. No wonder Indian parents will try to hide the real world from you. They won't let you do part time jobs. But also they expect you to crack a huge government exam at early 20's and get a heavy paycheck. Or be a doctor/engineer/lawyer. Your dreams don't matter. If you tell them your dreams, they will do everything to make you insecure and believe that this world is dangerous, you're naive and should only focus on school/college.

[Still-alive]

@Azura_88 damn. here in the U. S. you are considered odd or abnormal if you DON'T move out after a certain point. like myself

[fonduegirl]

Yeah. My parents don't support me emotionally, and all career options I like "are only for the rich peeps" or "too hard" for me... And still wonder why I don't contribute financially

[Still-alive]

damn sorry to hear that

[Azura_88]

How else will you get rich if you keep on repeating their limited goals?

[fonduegirl]

Strong point.

[rebeliouse]

@anon1903
dunno never been to india or experienced their culture

[roy_ricky09]

Absolutely not. From where did you get this idea

[fonduegirl]

Psych class

[roy_ricky09]

There's absolutely no such thing happens. I'm Indian too

[fonduegirl]

Does too

[fonduegirl]

You must be from those metro cities

[roy_ricky09]

Oh so you are the expert now about our culture

[fonduegirl]

Never said I was

[Jamie05rhs]

I have no clue. I'm not Indian.

[seanscoopers]

Yes I think so

[Tstrbrainer]

It is slave.

[Hotboy_booblover]

Yes.. its true

[lilBig6]

Servant and sex toy