Why dowry is still taken in India for marriage? Are the Indian guys greedy or want to enjoy on their wife’s money?

[The_Naughty_Guy]

[fonduegirl]

As an Indian woman, I'm glad you asked.

The thing is, marriage here is treated as something compulsory which results into merging of two families. I won't get too traditional on this as I'm liberal and atheist, but family on the groom's side expect to live off lavishly on the bride's money.

The bride can also earn, but that usually means she'd be liberal, less interested in home making and child bearing — which is unpleasant, so the easier solution is to pressurize the parents of hers and get gold, cars, expensive shit, or plain amount of money.

There's law against it, but most people still follow it since it's a conservative nation. It's the reason why people don't celebrate if a daughter is born and the only reason they want daughter is so they can treat them like maids. I'm not even exaggerating here.

[genericname85]

india is very conservative in terms of cultural norms but also in terms of labour. only 30% of women participate in the workforce, while 70% of men do. so their society is like ours 50 years in the past. it is quite normal given these conditions to have dowry in place as western culture had a few decades ago, cause quite simply a woman will make less money than a man if she even works at all.

this has nothing to do with any opinions about how things "should" be. i'm just describing how things are.

[fonduegirl]

50% of women work even after getting married. Economy's bad. Most of these also need to work as maid servants in their own house, unless they've daughters.

[genericname85]

@anon1903 no it's not 50% it's 30. You can look it up.

[fonduegirl]

I'm an Indian. I think I'd know more than some research statistics. But if you don't believe me, well.

[genericname85]

@anon1903 no. i live in germany. but that doesn't mean that my personal experience or opinion weighs more than my countries statistical data.

the hubris is shocking. if you had an argument with me about something you found in germanies federal office of statistics and i told you "no, i live in germany, i know better than them", you'd officially call me a deranged idiot. so don't expect me to respect it when you do that.

like what you said may well be true for your area or region or your individual sphere of exposure to the world but that doesn't mean the same is true for your entire country. there's official sources that do a lot of work to figure outt he facts and you think your personal unqualified opinion is better than that? you can't be serious.

[fonduegirl]

I'm serious though.

[fonduegirl]

It's different for federal office lmao. That study is more objective, so it can be discussed the same. Racial, gender, relationship studies are commonly biased. I'm not even kidding.

[genericname85]

yeah. if the science doesn't fit your opinion, then the science has to be biased xD sure. there sure is minor uncertainties when it comes to correlations that you make using statistical data. and there isa margin of error in statistical data but dismissing it alltogether as "wrong" and "biased" is just mental.

and even if it was skewed, it's still leaps and bounds better than an individual personal opinion based on individual experience.

[fonduegirl]

Say, if there's an international test and many people, including us are participating. And there's a question that says "how do you celebrate Oktoberfest?" Out of you and me, who as a general rule would have a better description of it? Who'd answer it better?

[genericname85]

@anon1903 that comparison isn't even vaguely appropriate. the appropriate comparison would be if the question was: "how many men and women were at the oktoberfest?", who would have a better answer? me, you or a statistics bureau who is specifically tasked with doing a census of the participants of the oktoberfest?

[genericname85]

like if i told you there's 50% women on the oktoberfest and you find an actual german ressource that goes and counts and it turns out that there's only 30% women, then i am wrong about claiming that. the fact that i'm german doesn't matter.

[fonduegirl]

I don't think the number question is generally asked, as a matter of fact. I've seen qua few tests and such questions can only be answered by memory, which isn't reliable.

[fonduegirl]

And as for stats, they can also be biased. We live in a world where many things can be manipulated.

[fonduegirl]

And I'm quoting this from my reasearch paper. I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just saying stats aren't 101% reliable.

[genericname85]

@anon1903 you don't need to "ask anyone their opinion" if you're "counting the people in a country". like what the heck is your argument? your personal opinion and experience is not better than census data. i'm sorry. you won't be able to argue otherwise with me.

[genericname85]

like you could argue all day that the indian labour market is biased and women are less likely to be employed or more likely to pay less than a man. there's good evidence for that and i would probably agree. but you can't tell me that 50% of women are taking part in the labour market. that's just factually wrong.

[Chazmatazz269]

Well, a dowry isn’t a woman’s money, it’s her father’s. A father is the first man in a girl’s life, and he knows her better than any other could up until that point. If he’s decided she can’t hitch herself to the right wagon and he needs to throw a little value on top to attract a higher value man, what’s wrong with that?
I’m only half joking.

[Guy13]

It’s traditional. Do it or stay away from the girls. It’s a different culture and not one you can adhere too with this comment.

[fonduegirl]

True

[Anonymous]

Oh I bet many do.