In my 20s live my parents my dad always tell me what time I go to bed, what time I take a bath, when I need to be at home do u think he's controlling?

[Anonymous]

I help him out with light bill and I pay $70 and he cuss me out saying the $70 ain't nothing.

[Mango-man]

That is the disadvantage of living with parents as adult. Their house, their rules. You could negotiate some degree of freedom but ultimately they are the main providers (I suppose 70$ isn't "half of all expenses for living, food, water,...") so they have final word.

[Asker]

But he told me to pay that much.

[Mango-man]

Then he probably doesn't want you to have enough "power" to participate on family decisions, but still wants to lower the amount of money he must pay for the home and utilities.

[Mango-man]

The way I see it is that basically you have two options if you want more freedom. Either offer to pay exactly half of all expenses (to participate equally) or move out into your own place.

[Asker]

I'm not going to give him more because he work too. Every since I got a better paying job he trying to tell me what to do with my money

[Asker]

He want me to buy groceries, pay his bills and other stuff. I can't do nothing for myself if he keep complaining and asking for money

[jshm2]

Nope. His house, his rules.

But why the hell are you living with your parents at 20 years old though?

[slatyb]

You are an adult. Tell him you can manage your own life. Then do as you please, particularly in regards to where you go and when. Make a plan to move out.

[Asker]

I'm trying to. Then my dad said he don't want me to move out so I can help him with the bills.

[slatyb]

"Then my dad said he don't want me to move out so I can help him with the bills."

So don't move out. And don't let him tell you what to do. Tell him what you are going to do. "Dad, I'm going out. I'll be back about midnight, maybe a bit later." If he argues, say "I hear you Dad but I'm an adult now and can manage my own life. I'll be back about midnight."

[slatyb]

Ultimately you have to say "Dad, I'm not willing to live her if you are going to treat me like a little girl. I'm an adult and you need to respect that."

[Anonymous]

Fight back and tell him if you are going to be paying bills you will decide when you are gonna take a bath and what time you will go to bed if he don’t like it tell him you are gonna move out so you have more freedom

[OddBeMe]

$70 is nothing. But he shouldn’t cuss you out. Just move out.

[Asker]

Well that's what he told me to give him