Bills BILLS Bills? Should I move out by myself?

[Anonymous]

My mother & I live together and right now im paying all the bills by myself. It’s been like this quite a lot these past 3 years but still manage to make it.
Our lease is up at the end of May but since im the only one working im saving to find a place for myself. It’s been so much back n forth about her and I moving separately along with her and I having drama from time to time. I just sucked it up and started to have money on the side to move.
Now my mom is considering wanting to move together again but I don’t want to because when things get heated she always want to be separated permanently. Which I’m just trying to cover my own ass by having my own place in case she changes her mind. Bills are piling up again and I have some money set aside for moving that could help pay the bills, I just don’t want to give up how much I saved to start from zero and regret sacrificing it when she wants to start drama again.

Keep $ to save for my own place

Give up $ to pay bills

[SkyCastle90]

Ha! Our moms must have been twins separated at birth, because she use to do the exact same thing to me!

The best solution is to just rip the bandaid off and move out without telling her. You need to begin your life.

It's going to hurt, but you have to accept your mom is neither responsibile nor does she want what's best for you. If she's as bad as you say, there's going to be anger, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and more. This will not only test your patience, but your resolve.

In my experience, my mother weighed me down until I was 26, and I had enough for a modest 1bedroom across town. I told her after I paid the 1st month rent and got the keys, she didn't talk to me for a year. It hurts, but I'm able to breathe; and she eventually got over it because what is there to be mad about. Responsibility? Funny thing is, she was jobless (after quitting over a minor argument) and telling me that no one is hiring, once I moved out, she found another job within the next few days. Crazy right.

[Asker]

Thank you!! That was really encouraging

[TransAm85]

This sounds like something I went through in my late teens/early 20's. My mom worked a full time job, but she would charge me $400 rent b/c she had a mortgage and bills to pay. My little bro was still living there and she was taking his Social Security check! I moved in w/my Grandma when I was 22 just to get out of that situation and she charged me $200 to rent the extra room and $50 towards electric bill. Over the summer I worked for a public school program and saved some money and got my own place. It takes time, but you can do it.

[Iron_Man]

Why isn’t your mother working is she too old or having some type of health issues. Usually it’s the opposite the mother takes care of the child even if the child is older 20s 30s

[Asker]

She works but she quits jobs when the work environment isn’t right. Which I get it and I also have the same problem but I never quit a job without having another one lined u. She says she doesn’t feel comfortable with me paying all the bills but always quit when shit gets too hard…

[Iron_Man]

I wish you both the best of luck

[Asker]

Thanks!

[Iron_Man]

Sure

[Staximus]

If your mom is healthy enough to work, tell her to get a job

[Asker]

It’s complicated I can’t just say that, she applies to jobs though

[Staximus]

If somebody needs to pay their own bills and they can work, they need to get a job. There's nothing complicated about it. In the past, I took jobs I hated to pay the bills.

[Asker]

I agree

[driven159]

your mother is grown up she needs to go to work you are not her mommy

[Daniela1982]

Get a life and stop making it "everyone's life".

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Keep $ to save for my own place