Ladies, what is your relationship with your father like?

[Sixgunsound]

Based on studies about how much of a disproportionate effect growing up without a father has on a girl than growing up without a mother has for a son, that should be even more predictive or informative about a person than what relationship a son has to their mother. I reference the works of Warren Farrell PhD, with particular attention to The Boy Crisis and Christina Sommers PhD, with particular attention to The War on Boys for this question.

[Apple1996]

Im much closer to my dad then to my mom. He has always been there for me. For the first 10 years of my life he was the main person that took care of me. He had a night job and spent the day caring for me instead of sleeping. So it's probably that we started out having a strong bond and it just stayed that way.

[Sixgunsound]

That’s how my three year old daughter and I are now🙂

[Apple1996]

Awhh so cute! I'm jealous that you have a daughter! I have 3 sons still hoping for a girl in the future

[Sixgunsound]

Two. Seven year old and a three year old. After serving on a nuclear submarine my boys can’t make boys😆

[Apple1996]

Cute that you have two. And hahaha yeah I'm sure that's why you can't have boys 😂

[Sixgunsound]

Out of 120 men on the crew three of the fathers had daughters. That’s small even for statistical outliers. Submarine crews tend to be older than surface crews, more likely to have kids. Different races regions diets ages etc, the only thing they had in common is at least one nuclear submarine.

[Sixgunsound]

It would be awesome if a study could be done on that, but the military is terrified of both liability and anything which might effect recruiting, especially in a special program.

[Agape93]

Doesn't exist

[Sixgunsound]

I’m so sorry to hear that. Is it a good thing or a bad thing that it turned out this way?

[Agape93]

Good for me, so don't be sorry about it hon

[Sixgunsound]

Fair enough. I don’t want to bring up bad times so I’ll let it go. I’m glad that it worked out in the way that was best for you. Have you found someone else to show you a better idea of what a quality man is? All I learned from my parents was what I don’t want.

[Agape93]

I did indeed:)

[Seinna]

My relationship with my dad is great, he is amazing. We're not as close as we used to be but when I was a child I was daddy's girl for sure. This good relationship with my dad definitely kept me grounded as I navigated through life in this leftist and toxic world that generally looks down on men. Otherwise who knows where I'd be right now :D That being said, I find there's not many men who can match up to my dad... seriously, he's awesome. It's sometimes hard not to compare. Not only a great dad, but such a comforting presence in the house, can fix anything, is knowledgeable, strong etc

Two of my closest friends grew up without a father and it has a serious effect on them.

One of them, whose father didn't care for her after he left her mom, didn't respect men and liked to humiliate them. She was often unnecessarily cruel to her boyfriends even though they really loved her... in the end she found happiness but I'm sure it was a difficult journey for her and this guy went through a lot for her. Now their relationship is completely different to how it started but it was definitely an emotional baggage she had to work through. She's lucky she's hot and charismatic because otherwise people wouldn't put up with her attitude :D But not every girl is like that!

The other one lost her father to suicide at 9 and she's a completely different case. She really likes the company of men (not sleeping around!), is very focused on finding a partner and when she does, she's not willing or able to talk about difficult topics that could reveal potential problems. She's subservient towards them - with no declaration or commitment from them she'd cook, pack their lunch, clean, wash their clothes etc like they're married. And completely lose her mind and disregard her friends for his sake... in the end, the guys don't respect such a girl, end up using her and despite all the effort she puts she ends up with a broken heart.

Having a good father is critical for any child! I feel bad for my friends but at the same time I'm grateful for knowing them and seeing how their lives were affected because I'm a lot more critical of men I date now with the perspective of having children in the future. Lol when I was a teenager I seriously thought of having a sperm bank baby so no man would tell me what to do with my own child XD But I was a stupid kid myself :)

[Sixgunsound]

So you’ve had the opportunity to see good and bad as far as father-daughter relationships. It’s understandable that you would compare your earliest understanding of what a man is with the boys around you, and it sounds like you won the lottery. I never had a father around growing up, because ‘da patriachyy’. I really enjoy the company of women more (only sleep in one place, my wife knows the location and combination to all the safes😆), and am going to be working in a heavily female dominated industry once I get my state teaching cert. I never got into sports or cars or cultural macho stereotypes, but that was really difficult on joining the world of men in the military where I was completely lost for a long time. Good on you for being more critical of the men you let into your life. Women set the standard of male behavior they are willing to tolerate, and if men want the chance to ‘rise to the occasion’ they need to demonstrate they are worth your time.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

My relationship with my dad is great. My biological father is passed away and I never knew him/he never knew me.


He’s not a very affectionate person, he never was, but he’s a good dad and has always been present in my life, even if he wasn’t emotionally available. He’s a hardworking guy, and he does everything for the family. He wants my sister and I to do good in life, he wants us to be successful adults.

[Sixgunsound]

That’s awesome that you have such a great step dad. Men are raised in general, not always, to think affection is weakness, which is why being vulnerable and showing a woman what is taught to them to be weakness is so difficult and should be treated as more precious a gift than it seems to be treated at the moment in society writ large.

[Anonymous]

Well I was always scared of him. Maybe I was/am a sensitive child and person but honestly thats just the way it was. I dont really personally remember a time period where I wasn't just scared of him. Whether he was being abusive in a certain moment or not had no bearing on my fear. I was basically selectively mute all the way even into my teens. I don't know him now. I escaped abusive parents. But yeah... I am a quiet girl anyway but I was selectively mute with him and if i saw him today I would likely still be mute. Gonna post anonymously cause its kind of a private thing to admit but hopefully this info helps you or someone.

[Sixgunsound]

I know this is kind of personal, a lot of questions on the site are. The reason I’m asking this is because I’m trying to show a correlation between what the first man in a girls life sets the standard for what the adult woman later expects men to be. I’m basically trying to make the point that fathers need to step up and be a father for their daughters just like they step up and be a father for their sons. So far the responses seem to bear that out. I’m not trying to prove a point about the relationships dons have with their mothers, as I’ve already answered that elsewhere. I have two daughters and take that responsibility very seriously, because I don’t want them to grow up bitter or fearful about men.

[Opinion Owner]

That's so awesome. I wish my father had spent more time with me and had more care. I think I was an afterthought and all the negative energy he had like when he would be angry for whatever reason really effected me even though he wasn't always directing it at me. Some kids are sensitive i think.

[itsalyssaagain]

It's okay. Like normal lol.