Should I forgive my father for beating me in a fit of rage, even if it has happened once?

[Anonymous]

during an argument with my father, he beat me, tried to throw me out of the house, called me a bitch, and even spanked me. The argument got so intense that my grandma got involved, and we had to call my mom from her job to sort things out. My grandma took his side, my mom persuaded me to forgive him. Yes, my father apologized to me profusely after the incident, spent hours crying, regretting his mistake. I cannot discuss this with my family because they will ask me to forgive and forget. He is a good man, but that day I saw a whole new side of him which I had never seen before. He loves me dearly, has done a lot for me, but I'm pretty divided on whether I should forgive him or not. He cried a lot that day because he regretted beating me, and it was real, but I still don't know whether he should be forgiven or not.

[normalice]

I suppose it's up to you but I would say no. Abuse and apologies for abuse are like two torches wielded by the same juggler. After so many cycles you will no longer be able to tell the difference. They abuse people to make themselves feel better and then they ask for forgiveness to make themselves feel better. They aren't looking to bridge a gap they created but are looking for an off ramp for their unwelcome guilt.

Granted if it only happened once it's hard to claim it for a pattern, so I don't really know, but I do know that true atonement shouldn't involve more attempts at making it the victim's problem. Just by saddling you with the decision he is making you hit your own brain to ultimately conclude it's not like you have a choice in the matter.

[boggboss]

Thats truly upto u nobody can decide this for u as its only really effects u

[Confidentandchill]

That’s pretty intense, may I ask what this was all about?

[Asker]

Well I was using the iPad hiding from him

[Confidentandchill]

Awe, using it for social media I assume?

[Asker]

yeah

[Confidentandchill]

Maybe he is kinda sad to see you growing up! I’m sorry you endured this though.

[SunnyREDone]

Up to you but that's a serious issue that you should consider

[SunnyREDone]

For future