Why are bullied told to move on instead of parents teaching their kids not to bully others?

[Liliesxoxo]

I wasn't ever bullied but this has me wondering. Society and others expect bullied victims to just move on with their life as if nothing ever happened, clean the mess their bullies made and succeed in life. While I don't deny that's important, the parents of the bullies generally defend their kids and don't do nothing to stop it.

Why are we just focused on the bullied victims moving on and not on parents actually doing their job in teaching their kids not to bully others?

[Curmudgeon]

Well, people should learn not to be jerks and assholes, but some always will be. Which is why those who would be bullied need to learn to fight back.

This is like the stupid and foolish femi (commu) nists who say "teach men not to rape...". As if they didn't know that already and as if evil was not always present in the world.

This is the same kind of thinking that gave us the unilateral disarmament / appeasement and surrender mentality. Ask the Ukrainians how well that worked out.

[Liliesxoxo]

It's just unfair that the victims have to move on and accept getting bullied as ''part of growing up''. That to me is the same as if someone dumped a bucket of dirty water and garbage all over the floor, they leave laughing and you have to clean up their mess.

[Curmudgeon]

"It's just unfair that the victims have to move on and accept getting bullied as ''part of growing up''."

I concur. That's why I REALLY like it when they can hit back, or figure out a way to strike back.

[Anonymous]

Because the reality is that there is no hope for justice in this life and the sooner you learn that the less disappointed, vulnerable and hurt you will be.

[Anonymous]

I wasn't bullied much but my boyfriend was bullied from when he was 13 and everyone just laughed at him including the principal! I think bullying is horrible and try to stop it when i see it. So does my boyfriend

[TenkRealist]

Because usually that's all they can do since they are smaller and weaker.

[Liliesxoxo]

They should be taught what my father thought me: self-defense. If there is one thing my father once said is that he wouldn't care if I got in trouble for fighting back against a bully and if it meant getting both me and the bully suspended, so be it. Though he would only be happy for me if I finish a fight against a bully, not if I started a fight.
The funny thing is I never had to defend myself. I never got bullied nor into a fight. I never had to use what I've been taught.

[TenkRealist]

Honestly as someone who was bullied in the past, its better to play it smart and destroy their life from outside. That feels better. At least for me. They never see it coming.

[Liliesxoxo]

I guess everyone has their own method against bullies. My father was a straight to the point approach. That usually stops the bullying immediately. They won't even be given the chance to then apologize years later; it's an immediate ass whoopped right there. If I may ask, how do you destroy their lives from the outside?

[TenkRealist]

That's a trade secret. And it is evil. But to beat trash, you have to be trashy yourself. That's all. If you fight back, some may back off, others will take it as a challenge and come at you as a group or even worse on you personally so my second approach is better in my opinion.

[The_Naughty_Guy]

Those children either don’t listen to their parents or their parents ain’t got any time to teach their children

[Liliesxoxo]

I heard the later happens more than the first. Even when it's so obvious their child is the bully (and it's even recorded on a video), the parents are still in denial claiming their child was just playing or some other bs excuse.
If I would've bullied others, unlike those ''my child is an angel'' parents, my father would've grounded me and taken actions to make sure it doesn't happen again.

[bamesjond0069]

There will always be bullies. The sooner you learn how to deal with them the better off you will be. Focus on something you can control.

[altdbob]

I was a small kid and was bullied in school. It stopped when I popped them in the mouth.

[Liliesxoxo]

Exactly. If that was done more often, there would be no need for them to decide to apologize years later. Them not ever picking on you again would be enough of an apology already.

Even though my father taught me self-defense against anyone (even with someone bigger or stronger than me, with a guy, girl, etc), I never had to use it. I think I probably gave out a ''don't mess with me'' vibes towards bullies. For some reason, I never got picked on.

[Anonymous]

Because bullying doesn't stop in schools.