How do you deal with a father that constantly yells?

[sheikalana]

I'm currently in my early 30s and my father still yells at me. In fact he yells at everyone, my mom, his mom, my brother, his sister, his brother in law. Feels like he just loves conflict. Since I was a kid I always avoided spending time with him and nowadays I avoid visiting him because I know at some point he's going to start yelling at someone and there's going to be an argument. I'm afraid one day he might yell at my husband. How do you deal with a mad person?

[Mitt15]

Be calm and do your work or put your point forward , even if he doesn't listed do calmly go away as if nothing happened , best non violence thing to do , as you cannot win an argument just by raising voice your actions are more Powerful.

[ohshee]

Just look at him one day straight in the eyes and say Dad you know I love you right but answer this question for me how long did this doctor say you're going to act this way

[ohshee]

I mean maybe he's just waiting for somebody to stand up to him you have to show them that it doesn't bother you what bothers you is it him acting that way because there's no need for it
I'm sure he only knows that because that's how he was brought up but sometimes we have to teach our parents who to be a teacher parents what we like and what we don't like and just because you respect him doesn't mean that he doesn't have to respect you

[sheikalana]

He would punch me if I said that.

[Blackcosmo]

My sister sounds a lot like that so your dad has anger issues. He needs to get help to manage his anger.

[Anonymous]

Wow crazy.. think he has some problems sorry to say and your 30...🙄😒

[sheikalana]

Yes, I'm an adult! But since I remember he used to yell at us since we were little kids. He probably yelled at me when I was a baby too I just can't remember.

[DryGermanGuy]

Group intervention, how about as soon as he yells, everybody yells back at him? If that doesn't get him to think about it, then only professional help will.

[Jamie05rhs]

If I knew someone like that, I would spend less time with them.
Like, considerably less.

[Waldoe]

instead of showing fear... show sympathy. when he begins to get loud, put you hand on his shoulder and say "Daddy, you know I love you and I will listen to what you say, feel and think, but please don't yell, it makes me afraid"

[Waldoe]

and when I am afraid, I cannot think straight and I stop thinking, I just want to Hide" do this in a calm voice, and say it everytime he yells... then... sadly cross your arms and turn away form him... if you can shed a tear.. maybe you will reach his heart...

[jahaims]

Call him out for it in front of people to embarrass him. Do it calmly. Say something like you are a grown man who disrespects everyone around him by yelling.

[maximumpower]

let him know in an even voice and in private that you don't like it and won't stand for it anymore.
if he does it again, get up and leave.
don't come back until he gets the message.

[Sparkie460]

Your father has anger issues and needs to take anger management. If my dad was like that and he didn't want to get help I would refuse to see him.

[MrTaboo]

Talk in a hushed tone back. He'll instinctively quiet done

[sheikalana]

I always try to keep a low tone of voice when talking to him I've experienced in the past yelling back at him and he tried to be physically aggressive with me.

[me112]

I will just have patience and control my anger and ya also try to understand him what he needs if results are the same so yap i will keep healthy distance

[Wonderwhat]

Leave him at home with a home health aid

[In_Trance]

Why do you allow him in your house?

[sheikalana]

I mean he's my father and wherever my mom goes he's always there.

[In_Trance]

That's fkn dumb. Doesn't matter who it is

[JoyGirl]

I avoid them…lol