Should your mother be your friend?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Or not?
In my opinion, you can be friends with your mother - or your father for that matter - only after reaching adulthood.
One of the issues I faced growing up was that my mother acted more like my friend (when she was in a good mood), to the point that I started to and kept calling her by her birth name.

Updates

+1 y

Crap, I've linked the wrong image.
Please ignore it.

[Prettygurl12]

I agree that you can be friends with your parents once you are an adult who no longer lives in their house. I don't refer to my parents as anything other than Mom and Dad.

A parent's primary job is to make sure you a) survive until adulthood and b) make you into a decent human being.

My mom and I were not close when I was growing up. She always told me that her job was to be my parent, not my friend and I can work through whatever complex she gave me in therapy as an adult because I damn well will be an adult one day 😂😂😂

My dad was the "fun" parent. Way more laid back and chill, but don't be fooled, he is my parent and there were very clear lines between the children and the parents in the family.

As an adult now I hang out with my mom and we're friends, but that was absolutely not the case growing up. To her credit, she's been very good about this shift. She was a... very involved and even micromanagement style parent who spoke into and had a (typically negative) critique about everything I did as a kid. But as soon as I moved out she changed immediately. I never had to struggle to make her view me as an adut. She wrote me a very sweet letter when I turned 18 about how she knew we butted heads a lot as I was growing up but that she's very proud of how I turned out.

I feel like overbearing parents sometimes struggle to give up control when when their children reach adulthood, and I was sure my mom would continue to badger me as an adult but that hasn't been the case at all. I'm actually shocked at how smoothly she made that transition. 😳

I had a few friends growing up whose moms acted like their friends first and a parent second and I was SO jealous, but looking back, it's uncanny how many of them "lost their way in the world" if you know what I mean. It's hard to not think the two things may be related.

[Sour-rose]

I should... but we ain't. She cares for me, I'm sure. But she gets on my nerves with sayin' SOMETHING. I'm usually at my computer to watch videos because I can't even watch a damn movie without her sayin' something. I'm being sour rn (my job) but us as friends... well the trust rope we had has become almost on the verge breaking yarn at this point.

[VRCXZ]

I don't make friends with parents. Their personalities are a completely far cry from me.

They don't want to have fun nor make friends nor go on any exciting vacations, with the last being for reasons other than preaching about their religion and shaming those who don't follow it. I, however, do, and my reasons have nothing to do with religion nor shaming others just for existing.

[crossdressingrihno]

The important part is having and using authority while instilling the right skills and virtues.

If being friendly gets in the way of their development then don't do it. If it's isn't getting in the way then please continue

[SaartjieJane]

My mom is my best friend and I love it. Of course there are boundaries but for the most part I feel happy I can go to her when I need to talk about anything and actually enjoy her company. Would give my life for her

[Emiliamazing]

This is something that every parent and child thinks about some point in their life. We are addressing it in our own home with our children. My husband and I both became far closer to our parents as adults. They had a job to do when we were young, to teach us values and kindness. It’s a fine line that must be walked.

[serious]

Yes why not. After 18 parents should be their children's best friends. This will ensure that their children won't hide anything from them and parenting will become easier also

[elizamichale1]

Yup this is something which will always always help u in every matter
when i was growing up both my dad n mum were very cooperative but my dad was like my best friend n was always there for me n would listen to every bit i had to say no matter how small or stupid or imp... i could share everything with him n hav his advice

[TrueConfection]

There's a difference between friend and friendly. Kids need a parent. I'm friendly with my kids, but I'm their mom first.

[Blackcosmo]

Sure. it's great to be friends with your parents because it maintains a healthy relationship with them.

[mermaidcancermoon]

My mother was overly controlling.

There gas to be a happy medium. You can't be such a pushover that parenting style lacks structure. But one can't also be so authoritarian that your child can't come to you.

[ChrisMaster69]

In an ideal world yes, in reality no.

she can stay fuck away from me.

Narcissistic and abusive are not really qualities you look for in a friend, never mind a parent.

[HeartFullOfGlue]

My parents go by "Parent first, friend later"
I agree with it

[TheSpaceGnome]

She should be an exceptionally good friend yes, not doing so is a failure in my opinion.

[modeve]

My mom (late) was my friend in many respects. Father (also no more alive) was compassionate and great.

[Sirenboobzilla]

Mine is. Always been close with my mom. We go out drinking, clubbing, movies, etc

[DiamondsReal]

Yes!! your best friend, because she's your supporter.

[exitseven]

No, I am not a friend to my kids and neither was my wife. We were parents.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Yes, maybe not a close friend, she's still your mother, but getting along is all I want.

[Aquariusmystery]

Yea but they need clear boundaries that they still have authority until you’re 18

[JohnK123]

Ya if she’s not annoying… Ik some moms get really attached to their sons and that’s good, but everything has a limit ofc

[Bluemax]

Primarily, parents should be parents.

[Lyndsielee666]

She’s not even allowed to be my mother Lmfao

[_deeznuts]

im very good freinds with your mom

[Anonymous]

Is she a hot Mom? 😊

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Nope

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry