What's The REAL Reason Why You Don't Want Children? 👨🍼
"From my experience, men just don't seem so thrilled about making babies anymore and I was wondering why that is.
Do you just prefer being single without a family, is it just laziness, or is there something else that makes you want to avoid having kids?"
Follow Up: 💭
What Is ONE Thing That Could Change Your Mind About Not Having Children?
This one is tough, and a bit personal...
I know that there's some genetic issues present in my family although I've never had myself tested nor do I know if it's present in my close family.
I'm also not in the right place financially to support a family.
But more important then either of those.
I'm worried that I won't be a good parent yet.
I still have my emotional demons, and that's part of it.
I'm a introvert so my energy levels actually goes down when interacting with people, not up, even if I'm a social introvert though, so I enjoy interacting with people even if it does cost me energy.
And also just in general separate from my introversion my energy levels are just low...
If I'm to be a good parent I'll need to *be* there for my child, through thick and thin.
I can push myself mentally to listen and talk with them etc.
But I'd struggle with keeping up with what needs to be done physically...
I'm barely able to keep up with my own needs in that regard...
And that of my mother who I'm looking after.
And my mother doesn't run around in her underwear like a 4 year old would, with near endless energy...
I think I'd feel better about adopting to be honest.
Also, the last part of the puzzle, I don't have a partner...
And I kind of doubt that I'll find any where I am right now in my life...
Ps. @Secret6620
Can't message you again.
I wish you didn't do that.
And didn't turn in on yourself when you're struggling.
I'm here, and I care about you.
You're beautiful, smart, and a joy to be around.
and I miss talking with you in voice chat...
And I don't want you to wait with calling me till you're in a crisis.
There are so many layers to this and having a child is a very serious thing.
First off The United States is politically unstable and riots are becoming commonplace.
Secondly guys are getting shafted quite frequently and some people see it and some people don’t it’s fairly subtle And if youand if you are getting a divorce the wife gets the kid and you get the check.
Third The economy is fairly unstable and nMuch less in the time span it takes to raise a child from 0 to 18
Fourth American wages really don’t pay enough to raise a child anymore like you could have both parents working and still not make enough money even if you work hard at it like really hard.
Fifth A lot of people don’t like dealing with children I mean they’re loud they’re noisy they don’t pay the rent they don’t really do anything aside from being obnoxious. Don’t get me wrong I don’t hate children and actually if things were better I would probably want to have a child but the world isn’t in a good state for having a child.
Sixth The world will be facing an overpopulation crisis soon and I’m pretty sure that our economy is already facing one.
Seventh I have a child with somebody you need to trust them completely and given the fact that you are incredibly likely to have a divorce once you get married this means that trust is something we’re not gonna have a lot of.
We had children late. I know my husband was a little apprehensive about it because my work requires a lot of travel and we certainly see things differently when it comes to certain aspects of parenting. Another factor could be the rising cost of living in most parts of the world. Having children is more expensive (larger home, childcare costs, etc.) Other reasons may include women who work in addition to their husbands and career aspirations
I'm not a guy but from what I've heard... big expenses way too many plus they want to sleep at night, which is incompatible with kids at least for the first decade or so.
That's the serious answer.
The non-serious answer: Little kids run around a lot they have heads at groin level, men have testicles. Their balls are at risk around little kids; therefore they don't have them.
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Great question proper order involved. In real life most have steps to be taken to ascertain a certain degree if not more success. So first rule of thumb if you do not love, live accept and understand yourself then your success will be hindered on you not being priority as a result they're not intelligent, mature or responsible enough to even fathom children let alone survive life. Most men are either not in the position I mentioned above or are incapable of sustaining any kind of relationship to further that application. It's hard to take care of you. I know I take care of 3 people. Including myself I totally, infinitely, unconditionally unequivocally understand wholeheartedly. Once you understand the status elements maturity, intelligence and responsibility you then add the human factor and I call that aids. An acronym for attitude, issues, drama and shit. And as a subliminal bonus what we never really learned or focused on while in education how to associate fully with human beings. And last life motto live, accept and understand. Life. Life is fun everyday.🥰
for me it mainly boils down to relationship and/or parenthood laws regarding breakups. many of which have been in effect for several decades and still favor women over men. from back when women had less options for earning their own income and/or get a degree. so they often relayed on their current partners income or former partners to pay them alimony and/or child support that was usually court ordered. to help make ends meet because they typically had to settle for lower paying jobs if any back then.
the "gender pay wage gap" has been slowly shrinking over the last few generations. because women are getting a college degree at equal or higher numbers then men now. mainly because many men are likely to take a trade skill job which don't require a 4+ year degree. but can still net them a nice income to support themselves and/or a family comfortability.
Look at divorce/separation rates, existing family court ruling trends, current child support laws, and male suicide rates. Connect the dots. It's a bum rap for men. I have children and have firsthand knowledge dealing with a lot of these issues during my divorce. False rape allegations in family court, the judge taking her at her word and I having to prove everything with multiple sources of evidence, and the judge openly admitting that she'd rather just give her custody because "Fathers really aren't needed anymore" (her exact words) but was constrained by her states custody laws and the fact that they actually have an appellate system that I would have easily won in. All of this and know that I am not unique in my struggle.
I can’t speak for others. But from my real life experience i learned very quickly and very harshly that men dont have nearly as much of a right to their children as the mothers do. Infact we truly only have rights to “our” children for as long as the mother allows us to. If she so chooses we will be stuck barely seeing them, paying “child support “ that more then likely will go to fancy purses. And in the event the worst happens and the child dies at the hands of this “mother” that the government and everyone deems deserves more parental rights then the father. She will just walk away with not even a slap on the wrist and go breed some more. Mean while the father won't even have the right to choose between burial or cremation, etc, etc,
Tldr kids are an emotional and financial trap these days and fathers dont have nearly enough rights. Ill never again give a woman that much power over me.
Big responsibility, big expense, takes up a lot of your time and life and your life is basically for the kids until they are able to do things on their own. It’s mostly a selfish thing if you don’t want any. in a way because you don’t need to take care of anyone but yourself. I did have kids but it was basically a sacrifice of my life the whole time because they depend on me and still do even in their 20s. Also knowing that if things don’t work out the guy will be paying child support till they are 21 not 18 , I think the only way you could convince a guy to have kids if he really doesn’t want them is to tell them you will take care it all and not want a lot of child support if things don’t work out since most marriages fail anyway
We have seen the Kardashians and want to avoid having to deal with kids like them. Plus child support can seriously kick your ass. My ex tried to block me from seeing my daughter for no reason. She put a restraining order on me for no reason. Her mother is a detective and they of course know all of the judges. I was not abusive to her or my daughter. We were just incompatible. I am not going through that ever again.
Because its hard to find a woman I can trust to not take my kid away from me in a divorce, while robbing me blind.
I know one woman I would have kids with and trust enough not to destroy my life if it didn't work out. But her and I ain't happening.
I grew up without a father figure. I don't know how to be a good father. I became the horrible stepfather that I had. Probably even worse. Not to mention. I look around and see this world going to hell in a hand basket. I don't have generational wealth. And I'm not ambitious. I prefer a simple life. So with all that. I believe it would be irresponsible of me to procreate.
Oh... I hope to have at least two, maybe three children of my own. And then adopt a child. I think having little youngsters running about would be a blessing and bring me so much joy. And I'd love them no matter what. Unconditional love. I just haven't had my chance to mate with a woman, make her my wife and begin a new life with her.
I can't lie I'm avoiding it but the reason. Why I'm avoiding it is because it's hard to find a good woman to have kids with. You meet them they talk a good game but the actions never measure up to what they're saying everybody says to keep it real but they seldom do
Considering the world population growing alarmingly, I'm not sure about that statement, but still, I can think of some reasons for those involved. Just think of all the legal and practical obligations in the Western world to raise children...
How about instead of having children you adopt. The world is extremely over populated as it is. Its only going to get worse if we keep contributing to the problem.
I ask myself what kind of future would they have? So far the answers being replaced / enslaved to a system most are too ignorant to comprehend. I'd also raise my kids to be good people if I had them, unfortunately society at large treats people like that like doormats so I don't see the point in investing in a society gone insane. Seriously, having borders is questioned, you can't identify as a nation with no borders... I'm not worried, consequences will set everything right.
Steadily since about 1980 women have, in my experience gotten further and further into deep psychosis, women are off the rails, men would rather just have sex then move on, no relationship, no commitment, no babies.,
I love travelling and I enjoy that freedom too much to give it up, or at least, restrict myself very much. A child is a huge responsibility.
Short answer. The way the world has become in the last couple of decades. I am afraid of what a young person will need to go through in their lifetime!
Though I sometimes think about maybe I should have had one?
The economic and social climate disadvantage most men to the point of hesitation.
Part of why I'm doing poly, gotta get those numbers up LoL
I was in an abusive home as a child, now I have bad anxiety and prefer to not be around others often, with a child you need to be around them forever.
I want 2 boys and a girl. In other circumstances, I would ask you for help.
Knowing that the mother would never use the Baby against me.. like refusing to let me see the child... Women always use their children to hurt the child's father...
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