How would you handle this?

[JakeS00]

What do you do if it’s been months after someone you became really good friends with, left you at their own expense out of the blue, was vague, and started twisting why they left on you? And sometimes you beat yourself up about it. Is that narcissistic or manipulative of them?

[FunkyMonkee]

It's bizarre, to say the least. We were getting on great for at least a couple months! she'd come home from work and, instead of going next door to get changed, eat, do whatever you kinda look forward to doing after work, she'd come spend an hour or two on my front porch talking with me and playing backgammon! We were having a great time and I thought it was actually going to lead to much better things!! Then, one day, she comes home from work and comes to see me first, as usual, and starts telling me, "This has to stop." She just kept repeating it and wouldn't tell me what she's on about!! Finally, after I ran out of guesses as to what she was talking about, she tells me that I've been making obscene phone calls to her every night! How is that possible? I've NEVER been in her apartment nor had I ever asked for her number and she never gave it to me!! She was up on the second floor so, there's NO WAY I could break into the house to GET her number without the new owners seeing or hearing me!! They lived on the first floor! A very short time after this, she moved and I never saw her again!!

A couple days or so later, I found her car parked 2 blocks away and decoded to leave her a not to tell her it couldn't have been me and that I'd never do something like that and to ask her to talk about it with me so we could try to find out who it was but, I never got a response!

[NathanDavis]

never been in that situation...

if this happened in an online setting strictly, then there's no much to do about it really, they will just cut contact with you, or block you, ignore you and move on...

people make their choices and for their own reasons sometimes... and it would sure suck if they just come clean about them with you

but if I had the chance to talk about it with them, then I would try my best to clarify things if possible or at least have some understanding of the situation and some closure

now, if they really don't want to work it out and they just want to leave, then that would mean they were never really that good of a friend to you anyway, so... I would just let it be, I would not beat myself that much about it, I just genuinely wish them the best of lucks and the move on myself, as well...

[JakeS00]

Yeah I agree with you. I’ve had this happen once and I clarified and cleaned things up which did nothing. Oh well, people will be a certain way.

[NathanDavis]

if you tried as much as you could... then that's all you could do about it

at least you tried so, no need to blame oneself about these things

[JakeS00]

Yeah for sure

[FlameZee78]

I have been in many situations where I have come to a realisation that I need help I have no self love for myself I was friends with a guy since the age of 17 or 18 ans at one point I started to have a crush on him which lasted me 6 years he would do the smallest things to trigger my emotions like he’d tell me how he’d rather be having sex with other females than be talking to me and he’s done that before he’s had sex with a female than spoke to me about it the next day after he’s never cared about how I feel but I keep coming back round to him…like I would say how I feel about him and how he hurts me but than he makes the choice to block me and than unblock me again to talk to me… it’s the most toxic relationship ever but I kinda feel like I deserve it I don’t really know why. If your friend left you out the blue than I guess you just need to find a new friend I don’t know

[JakeS00]

We don’t deserve it. I was being “too much” for her. I think she was comparing me to other guys and she knew I didn’t care. Sorry for being “too much” when I’m being myself. It’s better than being fake honestly. It’s a long story. She had her fair share too.

[FlameZee78]

That’s why it’s toxic than you need to walk away or limit contact to none at all she’s not worth your time think of it this way you could be spending your energy on someone who’s way worth it rather than someone who’s not…. Trust me I can tell you from experience it’s soo exhausting and tiring I am now 28 and he’s what 27 or 26 we been like this for
That long since the age of 17 and 18 it’s best just o drop it while you still have the chance you desearve to be happy and to live a life full of joy

[Sixgunsound]

I would look at it as they did you a favor by sorting them self out of your life and showing you who they really are before you got too heavily emotionally or otherwise invested in them. I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it because you didn’t do anything wrong. Only you know if that’s actually true or not, but as written it sounds like they are the one that has wronged you, and you can safely ignore it.

[JakeS00]

That is a good way to put it. It showed their true colors before it could be anything emotional involved.

[007kingifrit]

girls do this when young. they don't have the words and want to avoid conflict

[JakeS00]

Yeah. But she is the same age is me so that speaks volumes of maturity.

[Googlemyahoo]

Um I’d probably say go fuck yourself? Then go on with my life.