How would you deal with this?

[FunkyMonkee]

You've been in a band for 25 years, the band is your life. You're about to start recording your third album when your bass player quits. You get a new one but she's only just learning to play however, she starts out being pretty good and you figure she'll get better in a short while but, after quite a few years, she STILL makes all the same mistakes!! Instead of trying to better her playing, she makes piss-poor excuses. Others in the band have quit because of her. You keep telling your singer to get rid of her and get a GOOD bass player! It's his band and he refuses to get someone better. You love the music and helped create some of it so, you don't want to just walk away from it, especially since you feel you're about to hit it big!
What would you do?

[SnowedIn]

Based on everything you've presented and you asked what I would do? I'd leave. I get it you wrote "you don't want to just walk away" but it's clear that the leader either wants it this way or is digging their heels in. And you said "quite a few years" for the bass player. Yeah, I'm gone. Not going to stick around for that.

[FunkyMonkee]

I didn't. We broke up after I'd been in the band for 25 years. A year later, he calls up and wants to put the band back together and wants me back on drums. I told him, "I'd love to!! But ONLY if you get rid of Dana and get a GOOD bass player because SHE SUCKS!! And bring Pete back in the band because he's the best guitarist we've ever had!" Apparently, Dana was more important to him than our music! Even people he replaced me with hated the band the way it was when they were in it! In the last few years it was together, they went through at least 4 drummers!!

[SnowedIn]

Damn. That SUCKS. I'm sorry. But, you nailed it: "Dana was more important to him than our music". That sucks.

[FunkyMonkee]

It certainly does!! It also sucks that he could've gone out with a really good band, but he chose to do so with that crap band!! For that matter, he didn't have to go out at all!! Had he stayed with me, he'd probably still be alive, today!! He was only about 57 when he died!

[humanearth]

You keep making the same mistakes and you won't try to improve. The other band members are quite upset over your poor efforts.

Things are just not working out. I'm afraid that we as a band are letting you go.

[FunkyMonkee]

Fine with me but, I'm not in charge.

[humanearth]

Is your bassist fucking another band member or members

[Miristheiss]

I would have replaced the first bass player with a SKILLED bass player and not hired a novice.

I would still replace the bass player... if there is still a band left.

[FunkyMonkee]

He chose Dana. I had no problem with giving her a chance because I pulled a novice into the band 10 years before and she turned out to be pretty damn good!! I've even offered her the chance to re-record Dana's shitty bass tracks on the last songs we recorded. So, I was figuring it might turn out that way again!
We broke up in Feb `05. A year later, he tried to put the band back together. I even found a good bassist and had him over my place rehearsing our music with him! Bob wanted to stick with Dana! After about another 5 years of that shit show, he died of cancer because he was exposed to agent orange in Viet Nam.

[NathanDavis]

quit...

and join a band where the band belongs to the band and not to one...

[FunkyMonkee]

It's not that it didn't belong to the band it's just that he had the deciding "vote", as it were.

[NathanDavis]

he's not voting for the band though

[FunkyMonkee]

Near the end, I was starting to think he's been sabotaging his own band all along. So many times over those 25 years, we were just about to get somewhere and suddenly, someone quits or gets fired and we have to find a replacement and start all over again training the new member. We'd no sooner get them up to snuff and someone else would get it! In the 35 or more years of the life of the band that I know of, there's been at least 40 people in the band!!

[Sixgunsound]

I'm assuming he's screwing her, and you aren't going to break through that. Sorry man.

[Anonymous]

Find somebody else

[FunkyMonkee]

I told him to!! Bust, he wouldn't listen!!

[Opinion Owner]

Well that's the difference between a successful band and an unsuccessful one

[FunkyMonkee]

I think he DIDN'T want success!!