How can I deal with my jealousy and my boyfriend's previous sexual past?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months, and we are both 18. I have never even been on a date before him, he's my first everything. However, he has had a girlfriend of 2 years before (but that or she doesn't bother me.) What bothers me is that after his girlfriend, he was the type of guy who slept around with "trashy" girls and had things with girls left right and centre. And they were all sexual reasons only. Anyway, I trust him completely and I know I have changed him, and our relationship is very strong and mature for our age. But what I can't deal with, is this one girl he had a sexual thing with, I have to see her every single day because we sit in the same class next to each other (seating plan lol.) She is known as our "school slut" and has been with 40 people apparnetly, however the difference is, she actually had feelings for my boyfriend, but he ended it with her. Everytime I see her, I am just reminded of the fact he has been with her and what they have done and I can't deal with it. I just start seeing them together in my mind and thinking of what they have done etc and it ruins my day. I can't control it. Also, this other girl he had a thing with about a year ago was invited to his recent birthday party (because his friend wanted her there to "get in") and that ruined my mood because I was jumping to conclusions and I still dont understand why she had to be there. Maybe its just me, but I think you shouldn't talk or be associated with people you used to like or have feelings for once you are in a relationship. I'm just always scared that when he sees these girls, he will think about the times he was with them and maybe compare them to me? I dont even want to invite him to my school formal because one of those girls will be there and I can't stand the fact if they even make eye contact. Please help me I know I am being so unreasonable, but please help me, how do i deal with his sexual past and deal with seeing these girls so often and also how to deal with the fact he still sees them too at parties or school etc?

[Bandit74]

I dont blame you for feeling that way, it's very common. Eventually you'll move away and you won't have to see those girls anymore. You could maybe see if there's anything he can do with you that he hasn't done with anything of them.

Maybe try out a sexual fantasy, or go travel together/go on trips in the summer. Another thing worth noting is that guys generally don't think very highly of the girls they hookup with. The girls they commit to are the ones they really value. So right of the bat you've gotten something those other girls wanted but couldn't get from him (commitment).

If his past is something you don't think you can get over you might want to consider breaking up and dating a guy with a sexual history that is more similar to yours. So you've got to think, do the pros outweigh the cons of dating him? Do you think you'd be happier with someone else?

Really think about those questions. You might have your vision clouded since he's your first boyfriend. He might not be as great as you think he is.

[Anonymous]

Sorry to be so blunt, but do you feel like your relationship is sexually inferior to what they had?

If so fix that.

If not they don't matter

[Anonymous]

Part of being in a mature relationship is having trust. Everyone gets jealous but my guess is that you knew he slept around as soon as y'all started being together. Y'all are almost together a year. I wouldn't think about this shit unless he is doing something to give you reason to be jealous. Even if in the future you and this boy break up, the next guy most likely won't be a virgin. He will have a past. Just as you do. Just ignore it. You have his affection not her.

[Anonymous]

You should just try to accept his past. If you really love and care about him then try to avoid or distract yourself when u see him with them. But only do that if you are sure he's honest to you!

[Anonymous]

Learn to move on from the past, and not be jealous.