How do you deal with a jealous friend who you still love?

[Anonymous]

My friend has admitted that at one point during our teenage years she used to try to put me down because of jealousy only to realize how wrong she was because she knows I have been nothing but a good friend to her. Even in our ups and downs I have always loved her like a sister. I have forgiven her more than once for doing things that I would think unforgivable like talking about me behind my back and trying to tear me down on purpose but despite all the bad there was a lot of good. She was always there for me, we have some of our best memories together and I grew up feeling like I didn't need friends I always shirked off invitations to hangout with other people I never cared to fit in or socialize with people so I didn't have that attachment issues where I felt like I just needed friends. I just genuinely love my friend as if she were my sister. But I have been seeing more signs that the things I forgave her for she would do again. I caught her talking trash about me with her boyfriend when she thought the phone hung up. I told her about herself and told her don't contact me anymore. I'm still not sure if I want it to last forever. Even Now after the things she does I can't picture my life without her. She isn't a total bitch she seems so sweet and then when she does harsh things it's blindsiding. I'm not a super forgiving person but a part of me has a soft spot for my friend because I felt like she was better than those couple mistakes. But we're mid twenties now and after 12 years of friendship I worry that if she hasn't changed by now she never will. And it's sinking in that she just might not be a real friend

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, that's a tough situation. Friend drama is the worst. It sounds like you've known this girl for a really long time and gone through a lot together. But jealousy can really mess things up, you know? At the same time, it's hard to just cut someone out of your life when they've been like family for so long.

My advice would be, set clear boundaries. Let her know her behavior is hurting you and it can't keep happening if you guys want to stay friends. Give her another chance to prove she can change. But also don't totally rely on her either - try opening up to new people too so you're not so dependent on just one friend. And stand up for yourself! Don't let her walk all over you. You both need to respect each other.

Hope it works out. Friends are important, but your own happiness has to come first too, you know? Just do what feels right for you in the long run. Maybe give it some time apart to think things through clearly too. Hope this helps man, let me know if you want to talk about it more!

[butterly248]

No idea! But @Oliverlogan263 is good with this types. of questions and can maybe help you :)

[Oliverlogan263]

@butterly248 awww thank you butterfly for considering me ❤️ you’re beautiful

[laly520]

try to talk to em about it n explain it

[DreamLife7]

Yawn 🥱