Would my future Mrs be jealous if I had many friends who were girls? Would you be?

[Ronald_25]

Let me explain first, I do various types of couples dancing: Lindy hop, Charleston, salsa, bachata and kizomba.

The guys are usually "leads" and girls are usually "followers". Do during dancing, the followers rotate so I chat/ get to know all the girls. There are maybe 10-20 girls per class, so I chat to up to 100 girls a week. Of those 100 like 5-10 are good friends and invite out with them and their other friends. This is normal for me, but most women usually don't have to deal with their boyfriend/ fiancé/ husband having so many close female friends.

My question is, I'm my future long term relationships, would this cause issues? What advice do you have?

[JustAnj]

Be straightforward and ask your girl how she feels about you having female friends. If she is not for it end the relationship if she does not mind know that means she needs to get to know you better and build trust, and if she just straight up doesn't care she will tell you.

For me my guy had ex's as female friends and I told him as long as I meet them and you introduce us and you two are never alone together like that (boundaries) it's cool.

I'm straight about how I feel and I'm not dumb enough to just straight up trust people until I know you 100%. This leaves room for me accepting who you are instead of expecting you to trust me without getting to know me.

I like living in a more realistic life of you show me who you are to back up what you say.

Overall hubby felt like having outside friends too and I said as long is I know what's up and it isn't a surprise, I'm cool with it. Anything inappropriate or catching feelings, he needs to make a choice walking away from this person or walk away from me, I don't like drama and not does that person deserve to be played with either.

In the end he realized he prefered to keep it male friends he has problems he needs to resolve in himself and I respect that he acknowledges he needs to feel good in himself first, he also liked the idea of building friendships together or with people his friends would meet, more reason not to disrespect others.

You sound like you are fond of simple association and company, as long as you don't give your girl a reason to feel less than queen and show her she is your priority and you respect her boundaries, your good. I honestly always wanted to have that with my husband but he's not that kinda guy. ❤️

Stay true LOve. ❤️

[Ronald_25]

Cheers love, some excellent advice here Anj ❤️

Some background:
I have done the above with all girls I've dated, but it's a different story as they have been casual relationships. The story is different now as I've dropped my friends (with benefits) to look for a girl for long term. I have worked on myself, my bad habits, my character and personality, finances, career and fitness to become the best version of myself for my future Mrs and currently chatting to a few potentials.

So I wanted some advice from the girls here, on the issue I may be facing. Just like my job, I want to know the constraints beforehand so I can act on the advice ahead of time.

[Mayajenks9]

Depends on the woman. My best friend is a guy and although my boyfriend wasn’t crazy about it when we first started dating, he still respected it. However, my best friend started dating a girl last year and she doesn’t like that he’s so close with another girl. Apparently any time That she sees me call him she makes comments to him about how I want him. Little does she know that I’m usually the one defending her whenever he gets annoyed and have always been very supportive. He’s made it clear to her that he’s not going to end friendships just because she feels insecure about it when there’s no reason to. I think you just have to make it clear from the start to your partner.

[Ronald_25]

True, it's more her problem than yours and the boyfriend should be a mediator. Because I've always gotten along better with girls than guys, so most of my friends are girls, don't want to change myself just to make my partner less jealous 🤷🏽‍♂️

[Mayajenks9]

Exactly. So as the boyfriend in that situation it would be your responsibility to make sure your girlfriend knows that she is the one you want to be with and try to help her see that there’s nothing to worry about. If she still tries to cut you off from people in your life though that’s kind of a red flag in my opinion.

[Ronald_25]

Agreed, that behaviour will make me strongly consider ending the relationship earlier on. But women are not so quick to show their true colour in my experience, if she's jelly, she won't show it when she's trying to get me, that usually comes out later. On the flip, I'm bi curious, and really confident with my sexuality and body, so if you were my girlfriend Maya, you'd hear me appreciate a guy like "that lads got a nice ass, firm and toned like mine, something for you to grasp and spank during missionary" 😄 makes her aroused and confused at the same time.

[Mayajenks9]

I get what you mean about not showing true colors early on. I think there’s still signs tho lol.

[Ronald_25]

There can be signs, but you'd be surprised with how well some girls can hide it, until they trap a guy, then they unleash hell 🔥😈🔥, after some amazing, crazy, possibly illegal sex, I jump ship before she kills me 😬

[Ronald_25]

Actually, more accurately, before I kill myself dealing with the funhouse of mirrors which is her mind.

[Blackcupcake]

I wouldn’t have an issue with a guy having female friends, I’m not that insecure and if he’s in a relationship with me then he’s with me. That’s all that matters, and I have no reason to doubt him as long as he doesn’t do anything to break my trust. Even if the friend “wants” him, as long as HE stays loyal then it’s not an issue for me.

[Ronald_25]

Yes, I feel the same way when my girlfriends had male friends

[Blackcupcake]

that’s great💯

[Ronald_25]

Is that sarcasm or no?

[Blackcupcake]

no sarcasm

[Ronald_25]

Cool 😊 I'm British so I have to check as we use more sarcam than most 🤷🏽‍♂️

[Blackcupcake]

lol cool

[Ronald_25]

Are you British?

[Blackcupcake]

no I’m Swedish

[Ronald_25]

Hej snygging 😊🇸🇪 About 25% of what is said by a Britsh person is sarcasm, and it is difficult to convey tone via text, which is why I check, and why the two Swedish girls I dated always took me literally when I was being sarcastic

[Blackcupcake]

lmao, seems like they taught you a thing or two😂
Good job, I’m impressed

[Blackcupcake]

and I get sarcasm lol, and I can definitely be very sarcastic but I just wasn’t in this specific opinion

[Ronald_25]

Lol, they taught me the following phrase and I found myself using it the most "ja, kvinnor har alltid rätt"

[Blackcupcake]

lmfao😂😂😂
I’m dead!!

[Blackcupcake]

do you know what that means?

[Ronald_25]

Yes, women are always right. They taught me: happy wife= happy life

[Blackcupcake]

lmao yes😂
they did a good job teaching you hahah

[Ronald_25]

True, and I taught them the teaching and basic principles of the Kama sutra, benefits of goddess worship, yoga and Indian hair treatment techniques. When they returned to Sweden for the holidays, their friends and families said they had been "Indianised" and that they had the thickest, glossiest and most vibrant colour blonde hair they had seen. ❤️👱🏻‍♀️❤️ Best way to teach is to learn first yourself. Bit of a coincidence but both kept calling me bemästra during sex, the relationships were two years apart, but both never told me what it means, I still don't know 🤷🏽‍♂️

[Blackcupcake]

that is indeed very true! I like that mindset

[Ronald_25]

Thank you, what does bemästra mean, for my knowledge?

[Blackcupcake]

it a verb which means to master, so to master something, could be anything really

[Ronald_25]

Hmm, one did say I'm like a sexy Indian guru, could bemästra be used to describe a guru?

[Blackcupcake]

it’s a verb so no it would have to have a different “form” for it to have that meaning. But you could google it and see

[Ronald_25]

Are there many Indians in your city/town/village?

[Blackcupcake]

I don’t personally know any but I’m sure there could be some

[Ronald_25]

Hmm, both Swedes I dated said that the UK has for more Indians than back home in their respective towns and that I was the first Indian they dated, they wished Sweden was more multicultural to allow the Swedes to date people of other cultures and races.

[Blackcupcake]

Sweden is pretty diverse, but it also depends on where in the country you live... bigger cities for example have a lot more diversity than smaller towns. I haven’t personally met any Indians but I’ve also not met all of Sweden’s population lmao... so I’m pretty sure there is some

[Ronald_25]

Couldn't tell you the names of the cities but they were from rural villages, filled with mainly Swedes (who are not all blonde as the media made me believe). Though I didn't find that the three french girls I've dated during my time at university are not fond of Swedish girls and try to explain to guys that Swedish women are all looks and no character, which I found to be petty and unfair.

[Blackcupcake]

Yeah well that explains a lot lol...
Well it does depend on everyone’s preferences but I can assure you that many Swedish girls do have amazing personalities lmao

[Ronald_25]

Hmm, I think I need to know more Swedes for a comparative analysis between the women I've dated of different cultures. Being Britsh-Indian I know about the Brits, Scots, Welsh and Irish yon the west, then Indian, Sri Lankan and Pakistani in the East, but not the in between. I would say that the one Russian girl I dated, I found unsettling at times. Beautiful woman, but always so well dressed it made me uncomfortable, her name was Anya, and she dressed up for a dinner party in a slick black dress and stylish heels as if she was going on the red carpet 😄 my friends's girlfriends wore jeans and a t-shirt. They just stared at her and she realised how casual British women can be.

What caught me by surprise is how similar Russian and Indian women are, they are both traditional, both quite caring, like a sweet wife, and both very supportive of everything I did. Though I don't think most russian women like submissive men, they see it as a weakness. Then German girls are at the other end of the spectrum 😊 I love dating women of different cultures and all I get to learn.

[Blackcupcake]

that’s great! maybe you could visit here sometime and that way you can meet more Swedes for your comparative analysis🙂

[Ronald_25]

Hmm, much to do in Sweden? And are you planning on being my tour guide? 😊

[Blackcupcake]

There’s a lot you could do, depending on the season...

lol sure thing

[Ronald_25]

Maja and Elsa, that I dated, I loved their kroppkakor ❤️❤️❤️ I could eat then all day, but then I'd turn into a dumpling too 😄 like Kung Fu Panda 🐼

[Blackcupcake]

lol that’s not a common dish in the part where I live and I have actually never had it😂

But I’m glad you enjoyed it!

[Ronald_25]

I just love dumplings, regardless of which culture it comes from ❤️

Let me know if you want to visit the UK, I'll be hosting and tour guide too 😊

[Anonymous]

Would you also be jealous if your future Mrs had male friends and after marriage, she'll find a friend who is a better match for her?
Will you like being replaced?

[Ronald_25]

I would be a little jelly but a relationship is more than best match, it takes time, effort, compromise and many years of work. We work on it day in and out, like constructing a sky scraper, just because the blueprints look better of another guys sky scraper, that doesn't necessarily mean that she will leave me 🤷🏽‍♂️ it's all about trust and communication. That said, I'm very open about this, I sometimes say to my girlfriends "that guy you went shopping with was hot" 😊

[Opinion Owner]

That's so realistic. It does takes time, effort and care.

[Ronald_25]

On the flip, you want to avoid a partner who would leave you just because the grass is greener with someone else

[Little_Bumblebee]

I think that would depend on the woman you're with.

What's important in my opinion, is that you're completely honest with her and show her that she's the one you want.

[Sam229]

I think if she was dating you she would already know that but maybe she will told you to dance with her only as a couple I don't think that married woman would like that the other female touch his man even for dancing you maybe won't seduce the other but someday a flirt will happen from you or from a female dancer

[lovgeorgia]

I've known my husband to have many female friendships and I have never worried for one second (after 30 years) except only once have I felt like putting my foot down on a friendship in all this time. I think you know when someone is after your man.

[Ronald_25]

What if one of your partner's friends gets on better and seems like a better match for him than you are? I've had this situation before with my friend and girlfriend, another reason my Mrs may be jealous, even if she's not coming on to me 🤷🏽‍♂️

[pink_and_inlove]

A lot of girls would be jealous

[Ronald_25]

Thank you for being honest

[Alyssa11]

Yes I would.

[Ronald_25]

Thank you for being honest.

[Alyssa11]

You’re welcome

[karaspara]

I wouldn't have a problem with it personally

[Babygirl_S]

Definitely. It is a red flag.

[Tiptoetamm]

No, I'm fine with it