Why does a 4 year old make ignorant comments about his mother's race?

[Anonymous]

Like where would he hear it from? His mother is African and his Father is Irish. He is home schooled and his nanny is African. His parents live apart due to work but he sees them both weekly

He picks up a lot on his mother's dark skin and makes certain comments and also talks like he's not half African. He also asks questions like why is his mother dark etc. There's other offensive things he says which I don't want to repeat.

This is my friend and she is adamant its not the father saying this. Her partners family does not live in the same country as them so it couldn't be them.

What's going on?

[JDavid25]

Who knows.. I remember at the age of 9 I asked my then friend why he was "White" and his mother was "Black".. (Because he was really light skinned and his mother was darker skinned, and he talked proper too.) Nobody taught me to think that way, it was just my curiosity and ignorance.. Now you could say (well 4 to 9 is a huge difference for kids in turns of brain cognitive brain function).. Well, he may be just a smarter kid than usual and likes to ask silly questions and make silly statements.. Or he could be hearing it from the Nanny if it's not the father.. He could have friends too..

[RolandCuthbert]

If he doesn't want to identify with his mother's culture, that should be his choice. I admit he is too young to really know now. But he is probably being influenced by other family members or friends of the family. I don't really know what to say about the father.

[Asker]

Yes but he's 4, he's learning this behaviour from somewhere. Kids are not born this way. They don't see race

[RolandCuthbert]

Of course they don't. But remember racists use race as a proxy for culture. A child may be expressing dislike for his mother's way of life because of his exposure to racial views.

[Asker]

Who do you think he's hearing this from?

[RolandCuthbert]

I know absolutely zero about this situation. You know more than me. But again, when racists express racist nonsense, they always talk about behavior. So he is probably being exposed to people who are clinging to these stereotypes.

And that is coming out of him as self-hatred and rejecting towards his mother.

[Anonymous]

It's coming from the TV and internet. It really doesn't matter where it is coming from because you can be a source of influence too. Just influence him to be respectful to all cultures and people.

[slatyb]

That is always learned behavior. If he's home-schooled then it's from his father or people that he's meeting through his father.

[Mynameisbobby]

Must be hearing it from ignorant people. I mean he's only 4.

[boggboss]

Internet

[Asker]

He's 4

[boggboss]

OK... what's your point many kids in nursery have and reception have a grasp on using the Internet

[Asker]

He doesn't have access like that

[boggboss]

His parents don't let him use there phone

[Asker]

No and he doesn't have access to ipads. The parents are into outdoor activities and nature etc

[boggboss]

Then its something he is hearing or maybe wondering why his mum looks darker skinned then him and his dad maybe its not somthing his parents have spoken to him about