How do I make friends?

[Anonymous]

Sounds cliche, right? But I need some unconventional ways to make friends. It's been years that I can't make any friends, just talking to people isn't helping.

I recently had a breakup and I realised that the only person that would ever send me messages was my ex. I have no friends, no one that actually cares enough to ask how I'm doing.

The only time someone treats me friendly is when they're actually interested in me...

I also realised that this breakup made me get really heartbroken and devasted. I didn't know why I was feeling so sad over this until now...

It's because he was much more than just a boyfriend, he was my bff. My only friend, and the only person that 'cared' enough about me other than my parents.

That's how it felt.

I always thought I'd be okay without friends, as long as I have me myself and I, everything would be okay. But the truth is that... it's been a hell of days

Updates

1 y

*devastated

[soz11122]

I think these days it is really not that difficult to find a friend to talk to ( just casual conversation nothing deep), but maintaining the relationship with them is pretty difficult. I would say at first when you talk to someone, let them talk and observe the person. Do you think they are kind of a person whom you can share your thoughts or have deep conversations ? How do they spend their time ? Is it similar to you ? Also don't hang out with one person, try to talk with people as much as you can and eventually your circle will get smaller; only people like you staying.

[BlueScorpio]

I feel you on this one. These days it's harder to make friends cause everyone is so busy and have other things going in with their lives. I do want to hang out with others, but it's been so long since I've di e it that I've grown accustomed to not doing it. I dont even know what I'll say since I'm not that great at conversations lol I'm the same boat as you, most of my time has been with my husband or family.

[flautistnaturist]

It can be for hanging out to be for you and me, together. This ridiculous website has managed to indicate that less than 18 years out of the womb have been lived by you if you are counting by standards of the western world, and less than 17 years since birth if eastern. (Actually, it seems to me that we actually live both in part as eggs in the ovaries of the woman (girl at first) who mothers us, and for a shorter time partly as a sperm maturing in the father to us, although, predestination of both of these, as well as predestination of the two coming together to become one, is found in the tissues in the father to us which will come to such an arrangement as to make the specific sperm which halfway makes us. Some of this is determined in the living done by him, some of it in the chemicals to which he is exposed, and even some of it to the chemicals to which the mother to us is exposed before the union of the two contributions into who it is for us to become. And then, also, the societal and individual inputs which will make up how this DNA will be utilized are predestined also from as early on as the source of any of these inputs existed. So, really, it has been a long time coming for any of us to be how it is for us to be, by the time a website like this would declare us to be an adult by some of the many nation's standards in this confusion heap of subjective perspectives all chasing after the same delusion of objectivity.

Anyway, in as much as regard is shown to relevant jurisdictional hand-me-downs of the biblical concept of choosing life [ in the context of a Creator laying both death and life before us and then telling us to choose life ] , nothing seems to me to preclude the two of us spending time as cohorts within the bounds of wholesome regard for all involved and affected. This website is yet to offer me the opportunity to send direct messages as of just now. Possibly at some time future-wise it may become a suitable peripheral consideration, following up on the notion of such, then. Best hopes until such time.

[HattieCat]

I get that talking the new people is a little overwhelming, so the best strategy I’ve had is to watch people and if they’re wearing a shirt compliment it and maybe try to start a conversation. It doesn’t always work, but I’ve befriended most of my friends because of things like that. It’s not always the quickest way, but it makes it easier to get to know more people.

Another thing I did was involve myself with activities outside of school at the library where I was able to meet kids who weren’t my age or went to a different school. Then you already have a common ground established because you’re all going to the event since you’re interested.

The last thing I’ve done to make friends, as gen z as it may sound, is talk to people online on discord. It may not be the perfect ideal of friendship that people usually think of, both those people have supported me through so much and even given me the confidence to make new friends.

basically, I enjoyed what I liked and was open to new people and I found them.

I don’t know if this will work for you, but it’s what got me out of where I was when I was in a similar situation.

[Asker]

Yeahh, I think I have like... one person added on discord xD I actually don't know how people make friends there xD Just by joining disc servers?

But yeah, I probably need some irl friends xD Will try to involve myself more in activities outside college (I actually don't really do anything other than going to college tbh)

I don't have a social life so guess it's no surprise I've got no friends xD

[BCRanger10]

I apologize in advance for the novel here, but there's a lot to say on this topic.

Because of social media and because everyone's staring at their dang phones all day, and for other reasons, it seems to me that making and maintaining friendships is harder today than in the past. I look around and I have to wonder if most people have simply found someone to latch onto. So consider that.

However, the first thing you should do is know yourself. What kind of woman are you now and what kind of woman are you aspiring to be (rhetorical question)? Knowing those things should help you determine what kind of people you need to associate with. I'd recommend staying away from political or advocacy groups because, as I said earlier, you're just finding people with common cause, which is not the same as friendship. It can lead to friendship, but it's not friendship by itself. Look for common interests rather than common cause.

Plus, it'll probably just give you anxiety and you'll latch more easily onto people and there may not be much depth.

So if you like video games, movie critiques, knitting and sewing, or whatever, find the groups and clubs at school that do those things. If there isn't one, try to start one. You know, that whole "if you build it, they will come" kind of thing.

And lastly, something else important to consider. In high school, one of my teachers told us one day that a man ought to consider himself lucky if he has more than four or five good friends. You have a lot of acquaintances and drinking buddies. But as for deep and virtuous friendships, people with whom you can be more vulnerable than others and who will develop you in ways that others can't, that's a different story, and one that takes a long time to write. That's something else to think about.

[CA4444]

Just live your life, find your hobbies, you’ll meet people who share the same passions, you bond very easily with people who share the same passion as you, you have something in common… or whatever you’re experiencing share it with people and be open to other ppl’s experience, just be your genuine self and open to others, it’s also normal to go through solitary periods that’s when you build yourself or heal or find out what you truly want in life and then it brings you to unexpected paths..

[Maybe_1day]

I haven't fully broken up yet. She's taking her space. But I know how you're feeling and I also know how hard it is because it sucks. Maybe you should try certain apps such as hello talk etc. These apps made big progress on my healing because I got to speak to many people around the world. We've created great friendships. Group calls, activities and discussions. It's normally a language learning app, but believe me even trying to learn a new language in a fun way can keep u out of that mindset.

[bubblegunnn]

Why can't u make friends?
How about ur kids bestie, or when u were in high school or college, talk to them

[Asker]

Well, good question. I don't why I can't, maybe cos my parents move a lot so it made me more detached.
I'm a college student rn by the way xD

[bubblegunnn]

Join college extra curricular activities tjo

[normalice]

Find things to do that you find interesting that are done in the public.

https://m. youtube. com/watch? v=I9hJ_Rux9y0&feature=youtu. be#menu

[Asker]

Oohh, thanks for the video link

[abc3643]

The #1 way to make friends: When meeting someone new, get them to talk about themselves... like where they are from is a good starter. Ask questions in response to their answers and show genuine interest.

[abc3643]

Do you want to try with me?
PM me and you can practice...
But that has to be later because I am still working.

[es20490446e]

Friends are just people you often do interesting activities with.

[Illustrator01]

Create a reddit or discord account and join r/makenewfriendshere or their discord server

[Avgbrisbaneguy]

i can be your friend here