What's the worst excuse someone's ever given you?

[Anonymous]

Someone just told me they couldn't call me on their 30-minute drive home from work because their toilets at home stopped flushing amd they were stressed out about the cost of getting them repaired. After I didn't reply, he added that he also had hemorrhoids that made it painful to use the bathroom but he was embarrassed to tell me that that was the other reason he couldn't call me.

[sage2021]

I caught my boyfriend wearing pink lipstick - which meant he had been kissing someone just before he came over here. The next day I saw this chick in our apartment complex wearing that exact color of pink lipstick. When I told him I knew it was Judy he was kissing, he said "No, not her".
Then when I brought it up again, he said they were both in the lobby, and she turned one way, then I turned the same way AND OUR LIPS JUST COLLIDED! And that's how they both got the same lipstick on each other's lips. 💋

[Asker]

That definitely takes the cake. Are you still with him?

[jayhams]

Different people handle stress differently. Just because this person expresses it differently doesn't make it less valid.