In your own opinion, what is the worst thing you've ever done?

Question

Judge yourself as harshly as you want. Use anon if you like. As for me, I've bled all over people who never cut me. I can never be healed, from what has happened to me and what I've done to others because of that. I try to no longer hurt others, instead I do self torment because it is the only way I can feel anything. Worst thing I've ever done is torture myself for the pain others have inflicted up on me... and continue to do so. I deserve everything bad that has ever happened to me. So how about you?

MCheetah · Accepted Answer

"If You Don't Heal From What Hurt You, You'll Bleed on People Who Never Cut You" Man that quote kinda runs deep with me. I've been dealing with my physical insecurities and being considered undesirable/useless to the opposite sex for a long time now. I wrote about it before. I remember literally the ONLY arguments, I ever used to have with my late ex, were about me and "self-acceptance." She, like almost all straight women, were attracted to "confidence" in men, a word that still disgusts me and makes my skin crawl, to this day. I hated it even more back ten years ago. To me, when she would say "You need to be more confident," I would interpret that as, "You are inferior dogsh*t, but you need to act like you're literally perfect and Mr. Hot Sh*t anyway." That's before the term "Chad" was really a thing, but I took her words as rejecting me, not accepting me as I am, and saying "I need to be a Chad." Which hurt my feelings, because she knew I could never grow any taller, make myself lighter skinned, become skinner easily, develop a six pack, or be any of those things 'worthy' of confidence and/or being a Chad.  So her telling me to "be more confident," I took as her not accepting me for who I am, and that I need to change myself into something I cannot, in order for her to be happy and finally accept me. And considering my own abusive family and past and having never been loved by anyone, having someone you deeply cared for and loved, seemingly telling you, you are inferior and need to change, really hurt me emotionally. And I got furious at her. It felt like she liked me on the inside, but rejected me on the outside. Because (if I must psychoanalyze), I was projecting my own feelings onto the words she was saying. When I think in reality, it was more like, she did accept my outer flaws and shortcomings (short height and all; despite her being 4.5 inches taller than me and far more good looking and successful), and possibly even accepted 90% of my personality as well, but felt like the "lack of confidence," as she called it, was a cancer among an otherwise ideal man. Me paraphrasing her words, basically. She considered my lack of confidence to be a Fatal Flaw and otherwise considered me ideal. Now, the only reason I can even say this, is because I talked to other women YEARS after she died, and this is what other women translated to me, from what she said. It's not what I would have believed on my own. Cause how TF could I? Even now, ten years past the fact, I'd have a hard time believing some woman ANYWHERE on Earth, fully accepted my sh*tty height, sh*tty looks, sh*tty dick size, and sh*tty body, and accepted my personality in every aspect, except for the lack of confidence/depression. I got so furious she could claim she "loved me," and then basically tell me (as I interpreted) "now grow five inches and become a Chad, or else, I'll never accept you." So in short, yeah. "If You Don't Heal From What Hurt You, You'll Bleed on People Who Never Cut You." That quote hits deep. She was 6'3½" barefoot and 300-something pounds, but very confident and self-accepting. And even in 2022, I'm still not "healed." At best, I can SOMEWHAT admit that maybe some women out there wouldn't loathe and vomit at the idea of being with a guy as genetically stunted as me (180 cm, or 71 inches in height) with my inferior height and looks. It's taken THIS LONG, just for me to admit, what some woman may think about me, in that "I may not understand her insane thinking, but I accept it's what she believes." As for the worst thing I've ever done?  Possibly began to drive Kaitlyn away before her passing. She wanted to marry me, but I always had a feeling the marriage wouldn't have lasted very long because of this "lack of self-acceptance" issue. Like, I can tell it was either a "heal yourself or someday lose her" issue. But I don't know if I can ever be healed. Words can't describe how much I f*cking loathe being genetically inferior and genetically a "throw-away" valueless human being, aka "average."

Guardian45 · Accepted Answer

We ALL battle HORRIFIC DEMONS in the dark and quiet recesses of our minds, but what years of therapy, medications, self-reflection and epiphanies have taught me is that the ONLY Time that TRULY EXISTS is The Here and The Now. So what do you say to your Demons?

NOT TODAY!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The worst thing I've ever done was a kindness.

The woman I love was pregnant with this assholes baby, he came at her with a knife and she and the household threw him out. He called me to cry to me about it and told me he was going to walk out in front of a semi. I talked him out of it.

Should leave well enough alone, a few months later they got back together for baby's sake. He cheated on her during the last trimester, a week after she came home from her C-section he started raping her on a nightly basis until she started working nights with me. Their roommates were home in the day so she got a reprieve from him. It started again after her foot was broken and she was stuck at home with him.

When she finally tried to leave him, he tried to kill her by slamming a door on her head and nearly succeeded, luckily the house was a POS and the frame was rotted... Despite going to the Dr and having fractures the local PD wouldn't arrest him because he was on probation and was so annoying they didn't want him back... They said his story of her slamming the door on her own head was just as plausible since they weren't there...

... my best friend, the woman I love, my life partner & soulmate was raped nightly for nearly a year because I took pity on someone who didn't deserve it and talked them off of the ledge. My poor judgement led to that, and I must live with that the rest of my life.

Agape93 · Accepted Answer

The worst I'm willing to discuss is a toss up between two.

Shot at my neighbors family members after they repeatedly trespassed, tore up my lawn and tried hitting my dogs with their truck. No regrets.

Or

Let a home intruder get mauled by my dogs, he didn't make it. Again, no regrets.

Anonymous · Answer

I used to not treat people like people. I had no respect for anybody except myself and people who aligned themselves with my interests.

I did it because I was bullied as a kid. I tried being everyone's friend and being genuine as possible. It lead to so much pain along with other stuff I was going through.

People tell me about their problems or their perspectives or their hurts and I can on some level relate to all of them. It's why I can be so manipulative. I know which people I can manipulate and what I can make them do and what I can't. So that became the lens through which I looked at the world.

I hurt a lot of people, dating, professional, maybe even family.

As much as I love and wish to see good things happen to people, there's a monster inside of me. I try my best to direct it towards people who deserve it. But sometimes my emotions would overcome me.

It's made me into a person I don't like, and now I don't feel anything. Not happy or sad or contempt. I want to be something, but I don't want to be who I used to be.

Summeroflove · Answer

I’m not perfect. I have to repent all the time. I have definitely done things I’m ashamed of. But. I try to get right with God. Repent. Pray. Nor do it anymore.

Porn is one thing. I feel disgusted afterwards. Which I should. But that is a good thing. Because it shows I still have morals. But I need to stop.

bean2k21 · Answer

I went in the lady's dressing room and took my shoes off so they would think I was a girl with really stinky feet.

Andres77 · Answer

I was really mean to a neighbor and I caused a lot of problems that I still really regret. I was 10.

TroyDT2 · Answer

Had to be work-related. One of the cases I helped someone win who really should not have won. I didn't do anything illegal, but it still made me queasy. It also solidified why I could never be an attorney.

RealMarek · Answer

Failed to break up with my ex when I was young despite many red flags.

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

I catfished a man for 7 years then just cut him off then stalked and cyber bullied him until he killed himself

I was about to let a baby get hit by a car

I’ve robbed blind men and old people at ATMs

NathanDavis · Answer

I sent someone to the hospital for a few weeks they truly and really deserved it... but it was still very wrong

Amur8711 · Answer

Made a girl I was fuck buddy sexting with fall for me accidentally and have to tell her how I really felt because she wanted more. She than blamed me. I made the mistake of not realizing she really felt that way and it wasn't just role-play anymore.

CubaPirate · Answer

Cheated on my partner which I truly regret everyday

Anonymous · Answer

I'm good at sabotaging myself while talking to others, and unintentionally hurt other's feelings, and making jokes that will backfire on me hard. After that happens i'm hurt as well and feel sorry, and hope they can forgive me.

Anonymous · Answer

The worst things I have done I've either done out of ignorance or to protect myself.

berwise13 · Answer

I have definitely bled on others for what I've done. I finally have come to grips with what I've done. In war it's kill or be killed. it does not make it easy. I've struggled with it for many years.

Anonymous · Answer

Turned my back on a few people who truly cared about me.

Debbie14217 · Answer

can't think of anything

Anonymous · Answer

The worst thing I've done was r woman while i was drunk but she never reported to the police which I to this day still dont understand

Dingsbums · Answer

Tbh I can’t think of anything bad

eagle1951 · Answer

i killedl people i didn't know

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Whoah. Self torment? Honey, that isn't necessary.

Anonymous · Answer

Dating white women.

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