Why do parents love their kids?

[Anonymous]

I'm not a parent. If I was, I think I would love my kids too, but I'm just wondering, why?

I know not all parents love their kids, but generally, even if the parents split, each parent seems to love the kids.

[SnowedIn]

I think most (? all?) parents love their children. Even the abusive and mean ones. But there is a world of difference between what we call love in our minds and day to day actions or day to day like. So, I can love my child and hate their behavior. Or love my child and not like them for long stretches of time.

But, why do we love them?

Some of it is primal. Built into us. We automatically begin to care and nurture when they're born, just like a cat or dog or mouse or whatever. But humans have the capacity for love. We begin to love.

Okay, Snow, why?

Some of it is reciprocal. They love us. We love them back. Some of it is, to be a little tongue in cheek, Stockholm syndrome: we're stuck with each other.

But it's also fun. They learn. They mimic. They laugh. They bring joy. They bring exhaustion. But they also grow and do and build and create and force you to see things anew. Old gets refreshed. You have to relearn why water boils and why the sky is blue and why we call them pants. You have to learn dad jokes or be the mom who laughs at the dad jokes. You have to see humor in badly made coffee that got made for no other reason than the kid wants to please. You love back because they love unconditionally. You can hurt them but they don't stop loving. You can make mistakes but they don't stop loving.

You love your kids because the world is at once both wonderful and wondrous and the most fucked up place ever and because loving them is the barest perfection we can find in an increasingly flawed society.

I love my kids because they have optimism. Because they are smarter than me. Because they do the right thing. Because they make mistakes and learn from them. And thousands of other reasons that coalesce burning inside me hoping that nothing ever happens to them.

I love them because they take care of mom.

And, yeah, they bring me coffee.