Do you think it is fair that my parents let my sister study abroad and not me?

[Anonymous]

I am the oldest and I really wanted to study abroad because I love to travel and experience different cultures. They told me it wasn’t safe (this was before the pandemic). But my sister got to go because she was in a bad relationship. Is that fair? Am I wrong to complain?

Updates

+1 y

I honestly think the worst part is that my mom mocked me and said “boo hoo. You didn’t get to study abroad. Go cry about it.” Isn’t that super mean?

[SueShe]

Hmm, I presume that you are talking about the Covid-19 outbreak and that would make the year 2019 I presume.

Now, taking your age (30-35), that would have made you be somewhere between 26 and 31 years of age, right?

My question is therefore: Why would you even need the approval of your parents to go abroad since at that time you were in your late twenties?

You could have gone abroad without your parent's approval unless you wanted them to pay for your stay abroad.

Now, in terms of equal treatment, no, it does not sound fair but you have also to consider a number of factors that you fail to mention in your question.

[Asker]

I only mentioned the pandemic to say it was not because of the pandemic. I graduated college way before the pandemic.

[SueShe]

As I said, I am for equal treatment among siblings. Now, I don't think that the situation in the world has improved, quite the contrary.

To send your sister abroad when she was in a bad relationship is not really a valid excuse because she is emotionally less stable.

[Asker]

Thank you! I agree! My mom said she “needed” to go, so she could get away and think. I’m like so since I wasn’t in a bad relationship, I didn’t need to go. I just think I missed out on an amazing opportunity and they do not even care or see why I may be upset about the situation.

[SueShe]

I don't know your family nor the situation in which your sister was. I only speculate when I say that I can imagine that your sister may have "gone on their nerves" and sending her away for a while may have been the best solution to get a quiet moment.

As I said, this is only a hypothesis. The other hypothesis is that your sister is the preferred child and can benefit from special advantages...

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound fair, but I don't know if there is more to this story.

[Guy13]

Sometimes parents make decisions that we do not understand until later. This may be your case here.
Perhaps, it boils down to a money thing.

[Asker]

My dad has money.

[Guy13]

Demand some answers respectfully?

[halfroots]

My parents did this for my older brother

[Asker]

See and I don’t think that is fair

[Iron_Man]

Talk to them again