Any ways to cope anxiety and depression for my dad's upcoming funeral?

[Anonymous]

His funeral is this weekend coming up and in my whole life I only been to his best friends and my grandpas memorial service but my dads will be the 1st burial I will be in. A lot of people from my dads job will be there so I feel it will be overwhelming. I also have to finish putting photos together for the memorial service and im getting so much anxiety to where I can't sleep

Updates

+1 y

I also think its sad because few of my friends know what im going through and they said if I ever want to talk I can reach out to them but I have messaged them and they don't even open my message and keep posting stories and constantly online just ignoring me

Updates

+1 y

I not only feel alone.. I am alone and its so depressing to not have someone there for me

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My dear girl, I am truly sorry. Sending you hugs…

I lost my beloved grandpa and an uncle last year and the same year my dad almost died. Not knowing if he’d make it alive was the worst thing I’ve experienced. I don’t believe in God but I was standing on my knees and praying. He already suffered a lot in life.

For two months after my grandpa passed away, I was going out on a balcony without clothes at midnight in freezing December, just to feel the coldness and numb my pain, I slept on the floor with the same reason. I know what it feels like to lose someone so close. It’s a hell. There’s no hell worth than that. And I am hurting you are going through this now.

I am sorry your friends betrayed you when you needed them the most, just remember, that’s the worst day of your life, you are facing the death of the closest person in the world and you’re alone - but you’re standing and still doing what a great daughter would do.
Your dad would be proud of you. Remember that.

And you are not alone, I am not a very religious person, but I know the science and it might not comfort you now, but I want you to know that you are everything your dad was, you are not alone. Look within yourself when you miss your dad and take care of his little daughter for him.

I know thinking of all of this is almost impossible right now, but try to occupy yourself by taking care of your dad’s funeral, the hardest thing is yet to come, saying goodbye to him.

I rubbed my forehead on my grandpa’s cheek when saying goodbye. I couldn’t kiss him, not because I didn’t want to. I wanted a lot. But I wanted my lips to have a memory of his warm touch.

Do whatever will feel the beat for you to say goodbye.

And remember, in physics none of us really die, we just turn into a different shape. Everything that was part of your beloved dad will still exist in this world.

But the most important and the greatest of his masterpieces- that’s you and please, take a good care of yourself.

You’ll still meet your dad, he will often visit you in your dreams and who knows maybe there’s another universe where he is alive and you both are happy, hugging each other.

Stay strong, my girl…

[Enaya]

Firstly, a tight hug from me to you. What you are dealing with today is one of the hardest things any human being can go through. It is what people fear their whole life - loosing their beloved parents. What you are feeling tells me there was real love between you and your dad. It says he was a good dad despite whatever ups and downs you went through as parent and child. The grief you feel is what you are meant to feel when a piece of you is taken from you. Take a deep breath and feel it all. Take it all in. They are proof that you had a good parent and a good life with that parent. The only way to deal with grief is to accept it. I lost my last grandparent recently and had to resist bursting into tears for months at the office and to date, that gives me anxiety. I cannot talk to my parent about it because I know with will make them upset as she was their parent. When you resist and try to be strong, you get anxiety. That's what you are feeling.

Those are not your friends if they are not reading your messages. If you need to talk, message me.

[Asker]

Yes he was a really great dad :')
I have a lot of good memories with him he taught me a lot like riding a bike, driving a car, got me into watching baseball. When I was 15 he would give me a beer lol so I wouldn't go sneaking out to get beer 😅 but im glad he did because I dont feel the need to drink anymore and im 26 now. He always made me laugh and I would always talk to him how my day went and I would kiss him goodnight until I was like 24. That is true what you say its when o try to be strong and not cry I start feeling anxiety spread throughout my body and its like depression that soaks up my body and its so draining. I agree its messed up of them and I dont consider them my friends anymore I just feel like a bother to them

[Asker]

Most of the time I feel disbelief that he's gone and when I think about it I freak out that I will never see or hear his voice or be able to talk to him. Some days I pretend to talk to him in my head and think what he would say something funny and it makes me smile for a bit but then its that same soaking feeling that comes in and thats when I realize he is gone. And for the funeral I think its the last kiss on his cheek and thats where I dread that day coming

[Enaya]

You made me cry. It is also my worst fear and I feel your pain so viscerally right now because my dad is getting to that age when he is struggling with his health. I live in fear and also want to cherish my time with all my loved ones. Guess all we can do it cherish those we have. None of us are here forever. So let yourself free to feel as much sadness as you need. Talk to your family and those who knew him. You can still talk to him, you are a living, breathing extension of him. Whether you have any spiritual or religious faith or not, that much is still true. You are the part of him that lives on. So be kind to yourself, grieve him, and give this new generation of him (you) a good and kind life. That will be honoring his legacy.

[Asker]

Yeah my dad had leukemia in 2019 and each year his health was declining. He was a very strong man kept fighting and there were so many times we almost lost him but he kept trying. It was sad to witness him fighting his last breath and the image his stuck in my head when he tried raising his arms until he stopped breathing 😥. I'm crying right now I honestly haven't let it out I been so busy with work been holding it in. Spend as much time with your dad and just cherish all the memories 💝

[Asker]

I been also having dreams of my dad when he looked healthy and in my dreams he is walking and goes to visit me and he's always smiling in my dreams

[Enaya]

I think that's your dad assuring you in your psyche that he's at peace now. It happened to my cousin too when his dad passed after much suffering with cancer. My cousin saw him healthy just as his dad was leaving this world (they were apart). It was as if my uncle visited my cousin in his dreams to show himself as the healthy, happy dad he was and he said he's leaving now. I am sorry that last image of him is haunting you. You will probably not forget it but he's visiting your dreams to show you his healthy self again. He's not suffering anymore, take what peace you can from it. Hugs

[Asker]

Yes I really like those dreams it was peaceful seeing him happy again and that does make me feel somewhat better to remember he's not in pain anymore :')
I guess the only thing left is to try my best to keep eating and going to the gym to stay healthy

[Enaya]

Yes, be kind to the gift of life he has given you. It will make him happy not to have to worry about you

[TheSpaceGnome]

Friends, family, and a pet. Also entertainment distractions, funny ones.

People need love and laughter and fun to cope with negative experiences.

[Chad345]

You are brave for sharing. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[collie22]

I understand , it gets better. It helped my to ask Jesus to look out for my mother 😔