How do you talk to strangers as an adult?

[CheeseMonster]

I want to make friends..

[Anonymous]

The guy with his arms crossed in the picture means that he's uncomfortable, self-conscious and defensive. If you are talking to someone and they cross their arms, see that as an indicatior to end the conversation right away. They basically don't want to be talking to you.

Anyway, I don't usually go out of my way to talk to people. People come to me and they try to talk to me. But if I wanted to talk to someone say at work I usually talk about movies or TV shows that I like.

I ask what they are into and if they are into a show I like or seen enough of it to where I can talk about it, I usually talk about it with them.

"Oh what did you think of when this and that happened or what are your theories on the cliff hanger from the last episode?"

Usually if the person is extremely uncomfortable or dry to talk to, I don't talk to them ever again. They could be really shy and could have a nice personality.

Yet, in my eyes I see the possibility of where I have to be doing most of the work in order to get this person to talk to me so I don't want that responsibility and I won't push to talk to them.

You can decide if your want to break the hard shell of introvert to try and befriend them. If I am talking to someone, I would like them to reciprocate.

If the person says they don't watch much TV or movies then you ask what hobbies they are into. Let's say the person says they like rock climbing so you can ask questions about it.

How they got involved in it and then you tell them hobbies you are into too, if they don't already ask. If this person doesn't ask you questions when you kindly wasted your time to ask about their rock climbing, move on, they are a dick.

Basically you are looking for a conversation that flows. Not everyone is looking to make a friend and not everyone is a good enough person you'd want in your life. So don't blame yourself when you attempted something and it was extremely awkward or uncomfortable.

You are just trying to be human here by making friends and if that blows that persons mind where they make it unbearably difficult for you and they act like you are the one with the problem, run far away they are toxic.

It's a blessing in disguise to avoid someone who is rude to you or makes you feel bad for trying to befriend them. I know it hurts so don't diminish your feelings. Allow yourself to feel hurt when you do feel hurt.

When it comes to finding a conversation that flows when you are talking to someone, say you talked about that TV show you both like, the next time you see them you bring up the newest episode and keep it going.

Expand into other interests and have fun. I say if you aren't involved in activities where you meet and interact with people like say a martial arts class, a arts and crafts class, a cooking class.

Basically a place where you will be talking to people then you can use work to make friends. But be prepared that it may not work out and don't let it ruin your job. I hope I helped in some way. Good luck! 🍀🤞

[serious_miss419]

I cross my arms lots, I hate carrying them.

[serious]

Even I keep my arms crossed like that many times and even while talking. I don't think that should be taken as a sure sign of disinterest.

Some people just do that by habit.

However, I understand your point and what you are saying isn't wrong too..

[Opinion Owner]

@serious @serious_miss419 I read body language really well. You can do it out of habit yet I can't read your mind so I don't know why you or someone else is doing it. I see it as the person isn't comfortable regardless and that is enough to make me leave that person alone. Something you should consider if you are talking to someone. Maybe it once stemmed from a self-conscious body language but after using it so many times it formed into habit but still I believe there are undertones of defensiveness and uncomfortable feelings regardless whether you know it or not.

[Opinion Owner]

@cheesemonster thank you for mho!

[serious]

@mewzinc

Yes, I understand and that is why I said you are not wrong. I am a defensive person by nature. I am rigid and closed minded, I have a defensive mentality so yes you are right with what you said.

Indeed it seems you read body language very well. Not at all denying what you said, I was just adding any perspective to that.

[Pinay_ako]

It comes natural to me. I just smile at them to break the ice. When they smile back, it’s a sign. 🤣 if they don’t, I look somewhere else.

[mobiusforniner]

You start by using your mouth less and your ears more. Ask questions. People like to talk about themselves and the more you ask questions, the more they feel connected to you

[FunkyMonkee]

Pretty much the same way I talked to them when I was a kid.

[CheeseMonster]

Good point. How did you do it as a kid?

[FunkyMonkee]

About the same way I do it now but with a much deeper voice.

[CheeseMonster]

Lol but how tho? Like do u talk how they talk, how u talk, some neutral way? Do you lead the whole conversation or just the first bit or do they lead? Etc. Or is everything all up in the air every time and there's no method to it?

[WanderingLoveWizard]

@FunkyMonkee 😂

[Anonymous]

I’m open to strangers talking to me, but the conversation is normally one sided I’m more of a listener but they seem not to mind lol.

[Nikki1989]

I just talk. I am naturally a people person, so I find it very easy.

[Anonymous]

It’s not hard , just bring up a topic of your surroundings, people open up pretty easily to conversation

[exitseven]

My mother always told me to never talk to strangers.

[serious]

Just normally.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

I usually avoid people.

[LiamJHayden]

All the time.

[LiamJHayden]

I just talk to people.