How frequently did your mom sooth and calm you effectively when you became distressed, upset, or overwhelmed growing up?

[Still-alive]

When you were distressed, upset and/or overwhelmed with things growing up was your mom there for you when you needed her to calm and soothe you?

If you didn't have a mom but instead a caregiver/guardian that can suffice too for this poll.

Very frequently she was there for me when i needed her to calm and soothe me growing up

frequently

Sometimes

Not frequently

Rarely my mom was there for me when i needed her to calm or soothe me when i needed it growing up

I didn't have a mom or two caregivers growing up - raised by a single parent

Updates

+1 y

How frequently did your Dad sooth and calm you effectively when you became distressed, upset, or overwhelmed growing up? ↗

Here's my other question for dads instead of moms

[Sour-rose]

good god, that damn dumb woman annoys me to damn m-... my mother isn't the smartest and it shows. However, i got chills and then the flu. I felt like i was dying, I slept the whole day pretty much because i had no energy. I didn't want her to but she made sure I get my strength back (she tends to help too much to the point she's annoying me)

Then my first wisdom tooth. I was stabbing myself with a fork just to match the pain of that funkin' thing. (it didn't work, i was desperate) I begged her in agony to call the fuckin' dentist. Of all times when she is negative, she tried to be positive. Nah, it didn't work because I broke in tears because...WISDOM TOOTH. She stroked my back to make me feel better and be near me while I cried of pain. So yeah, she's been there... pretty much always. Even when I didn't need her and wish she pissed off, she was there.

[Still-alive]

damn sounds painful. glad she was there for you

[Apulu_Imback]

She is there with me all the time when I'm distressed and upset due to school work or studies. She scolds me when I'm distressed due to music or writing, she says that I'm only a kid and I shouldn't overreact as if I know what depression is and to leave music because it's eating my brain and will affect my studies. So I vent out to myself alone when I'm distressed about my passion, and I'm proud of that. When I become successful then I could proudly say that I'm self made, that I am the one responsible for such height.

[Still-alive]

" I shouldn't overreact as if I know what depression is"

yeah that is not a good thing to say to your child. sorry hope im not overreaching there lol.

[Apulu_Imback]

Eh, she's actually way better compared to other Asian parents. If you look at my friend's parents then you would be like I really got lucky for being a child to this couple lol.

[Still-alive]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIihaL8KcjM lol sorry but that makes me think of this guy. he's good by the way.

[Apulu_Imback]

I know this YouTuber, I guess you also shared one of his videos to me in PM way long back 🤣 he's on the spot!

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Not at all. She mostly was unreliable as a parent and would promise to be there at a certain time and either would show up late or not at all.

[SnowedIn]

Very rarely to almost never. *shrug*

[itsalyssaagain]

I literally called my mum when I woke up this morning because I had anxiety. I couldn’t do it without my mum lol. She calms me down every single time. The only person in the world that I can be totally transparent with and that I know will love me unconditionally and never judge me.

[Still-alive]

aww thats nice of her

[Still-alive]

do you think you could readily call your dad at anytime for the same thing?

[itsalyssaagain]

Yes but I feel more comfortable around my mum. I feel a bit of shame or embarrassment if I had to call my dad. He’d be there for me for sure but as his daughter I don’t wanna upset him or have him worry about me like that. I feel a sense of letting him down.

[Still-alive]

Hmm i see

[TrueConfection]

Rarely. The few times it happened really stood out though because it was rare. I was grateful for when it did happen and those are the times I really loved her. I learned self reliance as a result of the lack of parental support. I notice my own children are not as independent as I had been at their ages.

[petitedollbabee]

Growing up, barely ever, but as an adult, she has a few times.

[Still-alive]

Were your parents your only caregivers growing up? Or did for instance another relative help watch over you too?

[petitedollbabee]

I had my grandmother. But she was about as comforting as my mum. I haven’t received comforting from my family that often in my life. Mostly friends have done that for me.

[Still-alive]

Hmm I understand. Do you think how neglectful your parents were has had an affect on you as an adult? Like for instance feelings of anxiety or fear of abandonment perhaps?

[petitedollbabee]

Probably, although them being neglectful is probably the least concerning thing that I faced while growing up.

[melanieeeB]

Sometimes, I remember more her getting mad at me for crying, being angry or just distressed but she was very good and caring when I was sick or really physically hurt

[Lucy68]

Frequently, mom was and still is a nurturing parent

[menina]

Rarely. She only calmed me down once, when I had a panic attack.

[LazerBean]

She was there anytime I needed her, but it was not very often that I needed comforting.

[douride2]

I never had much of a relationship with my mom.

[Pink2000]

Not often