Did I do something wrong for my mom's birthday?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Today it's my mother's birthday. I got the pastries, made the cake and lunch myself, and both my wife and me got her some gifts - a pair of white gold earrings, two tarot cards deck (she collects them) and a Spa gift card (which was a gift given to me, but since I don't go to spa I kept it for her).

The day started out well, but she got a bit gloomy around lunch and afterwards she went to the couch to play with her phone in silence. I asked her if there was something wrong, she said it was nothing and when I insisted she said my father acted the same as me. I asked if she meant it as a good or a bad thing, she said to take it however I wanted and then got dressed and went out for a drive.

I asked her if she was angry at me for some reason and she said she wasn't but that she just needed to be alone for some time. My wife says that in her opinion I didn't do anything wrong and that my mother is probably just going over what happened in the last days (when I had to drive her to ER) and that perhaps it has to do with the fact that this is her first birthday after the deaths of my father and my sister.

I don't know what to think, I had prepared everything and I'm afraid I've blown it.

Updates

11 mo

She came home after three hours with pizza, said she had to clear out her thoughts.
We ended up drinking and talking about her thoughts until now.

[LovingJo]

I think she could be referring to how he treated her, maybe? And it brought back memories for her? And it was overwhelming for her?
Nothing that you did, intentionally, and what you said you did, all sounds very nice.
I would try to lever it for a while and maybe after a few days, revisit it with her and ask her to explain what she meant by that comment, so that you can understand? 😊

[LovingJo]

Leave* why is it when you put a? And then a! After it, it doesn't do it. It just puts a? 🤔

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Thank you for your kind words and advice.
I know that before I was born my parents used to get along very well and my mother is always a bit nostalgic about back then.
But when I was little they started arguing and eventually my father divorced her.

[LovingJo]

Thanks for the MHO 😘

[Anonymous]

Has your dad passed away? Sounds like she was reminded of him and the things he did for her and in a way it made her miss him. First birthdays without your loved ones are quite hard

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Yes, but they were divorced for years and weren't always on amicable terms, although in the last couple of years they had gotten a bit friendly with each other.

[Opinion Owner]

My baby's dad and I aren't on talking terms even more so since he abandoned us both but there are things my baby does that remind me of him and at times it makes me smile because it reminds me of the good times we once had

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe your mom thinks that she will outlive the rest of the family and ultmately be alone.

[Jamie05rhs]

I don't think you did anything wrong. She was just having a bad day.