Why my older brother always critize me?

[DiegoO]

I am just fucking fed up of it. If I do something, he critize me. If I don't, he critize me. If I accomplish something, he says nothing. If I screw up on something I am a scum. If I do nothing, I am "lazy".

I've reach to the point of ignoring him and stop valueing his words. We may come from the same mother and father but I don't think he feels that bond you would naturally feel with a family member.

[lightbulb27]

we'll, is he middle child? projecting his failures onto you? He needs to find Jesus Christ, there's your answer.

I really think you need to talk to therapist, ain't worth my diatribe on it. he's doing what he does for his reasons... probably his own insecurities, control, etc. but pay someone to figure that out.

I used to get a lot of criticalism... it got better when older.

[DiegoO]

He's the older of all

[AdithyaR]

Yeah sounds like a bully who likes to demean others to make themselves feel better.
Continue ignoring his words and cut him out and go no contact with him when you can.

[Leapfrog00]

Maybe he's a narcissist. Is he always putting you down and humiliating you in the process? There are ways to tell. If he plays the victim and has to get all the attention, he's probably a narcissist.

You can't win with these people. They care nothing about others. If this is what you're dealing with, the best thing you can do is not give in to the bullshit.

You could ask him why he is always criticizing you, but the problem probably lies within him. I know it's hard to ignore people like this, but letting them see you get upset only entertains them more. Next time he says something ignorant to you, shrug your shoulders and pretend you don't care, and keep doing it every time after that, and see how long it takes for him to get pissed.

[DiegoO]

Somehow you can say he plays the victim. He don't say it in a direct manner, but he frequently talks in plural. For example: "you all never do this..." . In resume: he always speaks in a way that the works he do in the house are more constant and demanding than what anyone else do there. I mean, he knows about construction and have done works with the house, but because no one else does that, it doesn't mean his skills are superior. I am a caregiver and yet he doesn't sees it as something tough for a "man". Which means he expects me to break my back, just like he do.🤷

I've just reach to the extreme of ignoring him. Listening to my own brother is playing a never ending game where there is only rejection.

[menina]

I'm sorry to hear this. He sounds like my mother. I know it might be easier said than done but don't listen to him. Don't let his words and his behavior hurt you. Also he might be jealous of you. He might want to be the person you are. But remember that it's his problem, not yours.

Have you ever tried to talk to him about this?

[DiegoO]

No. It's pointless.

[menina]

I get it. Then he's really the one who has an issue. He should see a therapist.

[Anemone978]

It could just be an older sibling thing.. my sister used to do the same thing to me and always act better than me. She still will take things I tell her about and then do it herself before me. It's annoying but she is nicer to me now that I left for 10 years and barely ever talked to her lol

[ariadneR]

Honestly I think that's just how siblings are with each other. I think he just wants what's best for you

[DiegoO]

You don't constantly criticize someone you care for.

[Wild_princess]

There could be many reasons as a older sibling i can tell you one thing there is lot of frustration. i suggest you to talk to him

[DiegoO]

Lol I am done. He doesn't even listen to my suggestions or any other in the house. He just do what "he feels" is the best. For instance our mom, adviced him not to have another child, due to his financial instability, and she even supported him with the decision of divorcing. Well, he had another child and it seems he doesn't care to divorce. Now his first son is 18, but he gotta broke his back again for another 18 years to assure something for his daughter; and he is broke! Despite working for so long.

[Wild_princess]

I suggest you if you can think from his pov

[DiegoO]

His pov is that he's right and everyone else is wrong.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DieogoO Omg. Dude, your mom is toxic a f. (No offense.) Please never take her advice on anything.

[Wild_princess]

@diegoo everything will be fine... there are always issues between siblings. have honest talk with each other

[DiegoO]

@Jamie05rhs No she's not. Most of his earnings went to his wife family. His wife earns more than him. Despite that he always drained off our other brother (economically). I even had to take out at times, some money, to assure his past to the country he use to work in. He always stays broke AF and never beg his wife money. Accordingly they are not in good terms, but after telling my mom over and over negative things about his wife (which I believe because she's not a good person), my mom gave him that advice. His wife even cheated on him more than once! Therefore she's not toxic AF, she's tired of dealing with his BS. Reason she haven't give anymore advices. He just doesn't give a damn about what others has to say.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DiegoO OMG. Okay, then! I was wrong!

[Christoff92]

My older brother has been such a oppressive person to me. That he's even instigated his children that have been with since they were born on me. Bro you ain't the only one 😢

[DiegoO]

I imagine you have your own place. Despite graduating from college, I haven't even been able to find a job, or even start a business.

[OlderAndWiser]

Some people are so lacking in confidence that the only way they can see themselves in a positive way is to be hypercritical of everyone around them.

[Wisdom-Strength-Love]

You can just not give a fuck.
If you ain't learning from him
Earning from him
Or yearning for him
Then 🖕🏼😆🖕🏼 “ay big bruh, fallback”

[art84]

Just ignore him. Does he consider himself a perfectionist by any chance?

[DiegoO]

He never says it load, but from what I notice he thinks way to much that he's right.

[Jamie05rhs]

Because he's a dickhead.

[DiegoO]

I don't know what's wrong with him. I ain't perfect but not that misserable neither.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DiegoO I know, man.