My younger brother got his girlfriend pregnant, what can he do?

[Anonymous]

He and his girlfriend confided in me in private. Neither of them have told their respective parents yet. What can he do? He just started his first job a couple months ago.

He's the same age as the girl. He just turned 18 on April 28. He's just a kid and his girlfriend is currently 4 months pregnant. To make matters more complicated, she's expecting triplets. He admitted to having unprotected sex several times by pulling out. He's admitting it was his fault and feels terrible for getting her pregnant and destroying her parents' trust.

I feel terrible for them. What can he do? He's only 18.

Updates

10 mo

Neither of them were ready to be parents, much less have 3 kids at once.

Updates

10 mo

Both of them were virgins when they met. They're each others first.

[RespectfulGuy]

After reading your details and replies, I appears to me that you and your brother and his girlfriend are close. And if you can convince them to get married, then the "game plan" may get more assistance.

First of all, they can enjoy social benefits associated with the kids have both parents.

Next, I'm sure both parents are willing to contribute some long term financial assistant.

Finally, I think you're a nice sister. 😁 And you help will be invaluable.

To conclude, don't drag anymore. Convince them to marry. Then work from there. It's a great news with lots of blessings when properly managed.

[Asker]

Good point and yes he has spoken to me about saving money for an engagement ring. He doesn't have enough money for a good one though so my parents and I can help him with it.
At this moment, he's trying to find a good way to bring the news to both my parents and her parents. Both sets of parents are definitely going to be upset at first. For sure they will get disappointed at first.

[RespectfulGuy]

There no honorable way to tell parents of premarital pregnancy.

So convince him, the only bad is him get a scolding.

After that is all good, especially for the triplets.

[normandi]

Marry her

[Asker]

Good idea. He actually wants to do the right thing and has told me about it. He doesn't have enough money for a good engagement ring yet though. He's saving some money. My parents and I can help with though.

[normandi]

Having money is not a pre- condition for marriage
They are together might as well normalize it

[JoyGirl]

Oh, girl…dang…that is actually so tuff. Like congrats to the couple, but three at once? 😭

Anyways, I am glad they trust, and are able to confide in you.

Unfortunately, they both have to tell their parents. Then, both families need to sit down and decide the game plan. 😊

[Asker]

Yes our parents and hers will definitely know anytime soon. They're just trying to find the right way to tell them the news. My brother is nervous about what will he tell the girl's parents. They are going to get upset for sure and super disappointed in him. He feels so bad for letting them down.

[JoyGirl]

Well, do they plan on keeping the babies?

[Asker]

Yes they plan on keeping them.

[JoyGirl]

I think they will be fine, as long as they have a good support system. 😊
Your brother should let the girl’s parents know that he is going to take good care of her and the baby. He should just be assuring them, and definitely should I show anger. They should be the ones angry.

He also has to live up to his words. He can’t go anywhere, now. He is going to be a father, and needs to grow up. Same goes for the girl. It doesn’t mean life is over for them. It just means they have a big responsibility, now.

[slatyb]

There's nothing he can do. It's her decision to continue the pregnancy or not. If she has the child, he's liable for support. The future of their relationship is up to them.

[Asker]

They want to proceed with keeping the babies. The issue is he doesn't know how to bring the news to his girlfriend's parents without them getting disappointed and upset. They trusted him and he has a good relationship with them. Both our parents and the girls' parents are going to be upset.

[LazerBean]

Man up and be the best father he can be. If he wasn't ready to be a parent, he shouldn't have been having sex. Since that's not what you do, going to have to do his best and make up for his mistakes.

[Asker]

It's interesting how it only takes a couple mistakes or a careless choice to suddenly create a life altering event. His life changed completely. He'll miss out on many things he won't be able to do at this moment that other people his age are doing.

[LazerBean]

For sure. It's a pity that he didn't take responsibility sooner, but oh well

[Stevepro68]

Adults need to raise kids. Kids hide problems from their love ones. Don't have a child if you can't even talk to your parents about it. You aren't ready

[exitseven]

ready or not here they come.

[Anonymous]

Work towards becoming a responsible parent. His age is irrelevant. He had sex and knew the consequences. Now they both need to be accountable for their actions and manage a way to balance parenthood, work and school as many other teen parents have

[BarryLiverstone]

Make sure he works hard at the job as diapers are expensive

[Asker]

yeah he's going to have to work so hard at such an early age. It's fair how a careless choice (not using protecting and relying on pulling out; he was overconfident about it) can create a life altering event.

[BarryLiverstone]

Very fair. There is a purpose for him becoming a dad rn. He doesn’t know it now but will eventually

[mommymommymommy]

Lets hope he's in a state where abortions still legal, right?

[Asker]

They're planning to keep the babies. He doesn't believe in abortion.

[mommymommymommy]

Uh oh

[DextroShade]

He needs a paternity test before he signs anything or takes on any responsibility.

[Asker]

Both were virgins when they met, she made him wait for a couple months and he didn't use protection those times. He kept relying on pulling out.

[DextroShade]

That doesn't matter, girls lie.

[monghjay2]

girls use to get pregnant at like 14 to 15 years of age

he will be fine

[Asker]

yes even though neither of them were prepared to be parents. It was totally unplanned.

[monghjay2]

he will be fine

as long as the girl does not do anything stupid