Would you have a baby after 40?

Question

Just wondering.

My cousin, 41 years old, just announced her pregnancy and while we congratulated her, I also pointed out she will have to do more medical check-ups and account for factors such as the fact that when the child will be a legal adult, she'll already be almost a pensioner. The fact that she intends to be a single mother should also be considered, since she already cut out the father but implied she'd hope for her mother, he brother to be willing to give an hand - not financially as she's of course already set, but in terms of time and availability, and I'm not sure how much I could be available with a one-year daughter and the twins being due in September.

Updates

+1 y

As for me personally, I would be willing to have a baby at 40, although by then my wife (hopefully we'd still be married!) would be 44, so we'd have to evaluate the factors and medical issues.

EricSummer · Accepted Answer

Yes, we are having a baby now. My girlfriend is 41 and I met her only when she was 40. She always wanted children, but had trouble finding the right guy for that.

I already have two teenage kids one of which will be an adult this year, so I initially hesitated. However, it would not have been right to waste her last fertile years while I just enjoy having a girlfriend who is younger than myself.

Now I'm already quite excited about the baby that's on the way. It's different with a different woman, of course, and a new journey. My parents are in their 80s and I do not smoke or drink alcohol, so statistically I'm not yet at the end of my road.

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

Hmmm... I don't think it's what nature intended. Thus why it's usually difficult to even get pregnant without the help of hormones. All the possible complications due to the age is there too.

But hey... good for her if that's what she wanted. Hope the kid will be alright because most of the single mother's I've seen in life are mean as hell to their kids. Just ask me and my two sisters how fun our Mom was. CPS only took us away and 2 of us left home early... I at 16 and my sister at 14. It was just a total shit show.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

no I wouldn't have a kid after 40. Also people need to stop looking down and criticising single moms and calling them selfish, because you don't know if they are single because their partner, the father of their child passed away or if they are single moms because the relationship was abusive, or that the father was sexually abusing the kids.

My cousin's step mom was left a single mom after her husband took his own life. More recently, a woman was left a single mom while she was pregnant after her husband was stabbed to death while he was at work.

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

My mom had me when she was 40. Personally I think it is too late, now that I am iny late twenties and she is nearing 70.

I wouldn't however go out of my way to point out "medical complications" or assert my opinion because how is that going to make them want to hang out with me again.

Unless it's a natural part of a welcome deep conversation, I think it's quite crass to make contrary comments about someone elses life choices or lifestyle.

nastyb · Answer

a few things you have to consider...

1. you might suffer from more birthing complications and your baby might not be as healthy compared to other kids. Even if your kid is born without health issues, it does not mean that they won't be more prone to mental / physical problems as they grow older.

2. you may very well work yourself beyond retirement trying to send your kids to college. or you may be forced to retire early due to health issues leaving an uncertain future of obtaining a higher education.

3. parenting may be more stressful on you. you might not be able to keep up with the demands of parenting as your body weakens, ages, energy depletes.

4. your kid's childhood might be less fun. As people get older, they tend forget what its like to be children. The playful attitude along with immaturity fades as people age. And this might be an obstacle to you being able to relate to or play with your child.

Apple1996 · Answer

Nah my parents had me at 35 and I hated being raised by older parents so I decided to have all of my kids while young. Plan on getting my tubes removed in my early 30s. Hoping to pop out a few more by then but if it doesn't happen then I'll be happy with the 4 kids that I already have.

girlzruleboyzdrool · Answer

I think you should! Ando also consider adopting as well so your child will have siblings.

When your child is 30, how old will you be and will they have family.

I would say have kids when it's right for you!

Just know that you need to accept there could be health issues to both mom and or baby. However, there may not be either!

MORPHEUS_12 · Answer

Absolutely not! I have known of several women who had babies late in life and they died of breast cancer before their kids were out of elementary school. Having a baby after 35 greatly increases your chances of getting breast cancer. It's very sad and in my opinion avoidable.

Anonymous · Answer

I think having a child as a single mother is a very selfish and self-centered thing to do.

I have had a much younger woman who was interested in me romantically and she wanted to have children. I've never had children and I'm sure that finally having a child would be exciting and challenging, but I have mixed feelings on whether that is a good idea. I would hate not being alive to see my child graduate from high school or college.

whirled_up_girl · Answer

I wouldn't do it intentionally because of all the health concerns but I do know women as old as 43 that had fairly healthy pregnancies and their children were born without any medical problems. They were lucky though because the risks are a lot higher. I think that's why many older women who go to fertility clinics opt for donor eggs so there is less risk to the child however, they still have health risks to contend with.

Rei13 · Answer

I honestly do not see the issue with it especially if she is able to take care of the child. Not everyone is on the same time table and able to have a child earlier in life. Sure she will be higher risk but that is a conversation she would have to have with her doctor and hopefully she has a good support system

Kaamraj · Answer

As a man, it is medically possible to have a baby until the day you die and few hours afterwards also. So men should never say never. The more resources you can give your kid (s) the better they will be placed in life and for most men acquiring resources takes time, so yes men should father children later on in life.

Midnight_Kiss · Answer

I've no children due to deciding to stay on the fence about whether to have them or not and effectively leaving it to fate, so if I were to have them I would most likely be close to 40 as I'm now 35 and still single so I'm not really one to judge, I say "Que Sera Sera"

EmmaMary · Answer

No, absolutely not.

Both my husband and I decided from the outset that neither of us wished to be "old parents", hence the reason why we now have our two adorable, precious and totally planned children.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes I would, research shows the children of older parents tend to be smarter and have advantages that those of younger partners don’t. There’s nothing no wrong with it. But I live in the UK where healthcare is free as we pay national insurance and tax from our wages to cover it.

Anonymous · Answer

I presume she's doing this because she was unable to secure a man and this is her last chance to have a baby of her own. I understand but it's selfish. Single parent household have worse outcomes for the child in general even if she has the finance sorted is less then ideal. The child will not have a strong male influence.
It's not your responsibility to raise it, and not your mother's.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

My OH was 41 when our first was born, 42 when second came. I was 37 when first was born. It's tiring l, being woken up multiple time per night, I've barely slept a proper night in nearly 4 years. Worth it though.
Not having any more

KBird · Answer

My parents had me in their late 40s and early 50s, so absolutely. If I can, and want a child at that age, then yes. I wouldn’t care if I was a pensioner etc.

crystalline0909 · Answer

No! When the child will be in 20 I'll be a senior citizen more than 60... Child has not even complete his or her education and I'm already counting my days on earth.

jshm2 · Answer

As a father? Sure! But for women? Only if they can step up and take responsibility. Too many want family, friends and society to "step up" for what is their personal choice.

sheenagwapa · Answer

i don't understand why should it be an issue. i think i like my kids to be young while i'm gettinh older rather than them old, have their own families to take cate of

LazerBean · Answer

Not intentionally lol but accidents happen, in which case the baby will still be welcomed.

SnowedIn · Answer

Not deliberately for the sake of having one but if for some reason we did then yeah. The medical complications can be serious but overcomable.

jwmiller95 · Answer

Not with a women at that age. When the woman reaches 40 years old the risk of deformity or mutation in the baby is high. I'd rather adopt at that point or settle with no more kids.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I would've, if I had a womb and someone to fill it up for me. As long as the baby factory is working, keep it in production!

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

I would like to freeze my eggs, in case my husband and I want more children as we get older.

Avicenna · Answer

Sure, my youngest two were born when I was 42 and almost 49.

kakaling · Answer

Yes, I don't think I'll be a good parent at a younger age compared to my age now. That is for me.

Sparkie460 · Answer

Nope. I had my kids, they've grown and I'm done raising kids.

safricanluke · Answer

At this point, if I ever actually find love again, I would be having children in my 40s

LiamJHayden · Answer

I'm thankful my mom did or I wouldn't be here.

Provingdatruth · Answer

She better go hard on that baby’s education journey!

robocop666 · Answer

If I was a millionaire so I could afford it easy.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No. I wouldn't be interested in that.

sheikalana · Answer

Only if I did not have a baby earlier.

Agape93 · Answer

Nope

HippieVeganJewslim · Answer

I’d adopt after 40.

LavLavLuv · Answer

Nope☝️

Would you have a baby after 40?

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