Ideally would you prefer/have preferred to have kids before or after age 30?

Question

Feel free to specify an age below since the poll is pretty broad. And if you already have kids, whats the age you preferred vs how it turned out? I personally wanted kids early 20s. I decided to at least finish college first and completed a pointless 4 year degree by age 23. Ideally, i wouldve become a parent by age 24/25 but that sadly didn't happen. I’ve always preferred to birth all my children before the age of 30. At this rate, i’ll be lucky to have at least one before i turn 30. After 30, i have no intentions of birthing more and would much rather adopt at least one child. 
  #FeelFreeToList #BabyFever

hi_it_is_me123 · Accepted Answer

I dont understand why many guys want to enjoy their 20s and want kids in their 30s but dont want their women to enjoy their 20s and expect their women to have kids before their 30s. Sperm quality get shittier, the older the men get. I seriously dont understand why any woman want to date so much older guy to get disabled/mentally ill kids. I prefere to have kids before my 30s and I also expect my partner to have kids before his 30s. I would want max 2 kids and i want my partner to be young and fit, and not a bald fat old something in his 30s. Toddlers consume so much energy. At 30s you already get some health problems due to your age and so an old man in his 30s would be a problem for me to look after toddlers

Bananna · Accepted Answer

Changes of complications during pregnancy increase after the age of 32. Men dont give a rat's ass because they aren't the ones carrying the baby. Dont think about baby #1 if you want 2 kids for example. Count from 30... back. 2nd kid at 30. First kids maybe at 27/28? So technically I should have kids by 27 to have my ideal pregnancy with hopefully no complications. Think about yourself FIRST. If someone wrong with the pregnancy it effects YOU and the baby. Yea , 20s is when you have fun. But fun NEVER stops. Responsibilities change... but you have to learn how to multitask, plan ahead and think smart to make fun time happen

Anonymous · Answer

I had my two daughters before 30 and my two sons after 30. From my experience having kids after 30 is a ton easier. However, that may be more because I now have a supportive husband (as well as my two teenage daughters) who can help me with raising my boys. When I had my first two girls my then husband was kind of a deadbeat so it was almost like I was raising them on my own. After we divorced it literally was that I was raising them on my own (aside from his child support checks, which did help, but it would have been a lot more helpful if he'd been a more active father than just sending money). I also have had to worry a lot less financially since both me and my husband have jobs that pay good salaries. When I was initially raising my girls I was scraping by financially. Also, my two boys (thankfully) came out healthy (and I know that the risks associated with healthy babies do increase with age).
So perhaps the difficulty of raising kids is more so based on circumstances than age. If I'd had a supportive husband and a decent stream of income maybe raising my girls then would have been a similar level of difficulty as raising my boys (at a similar age as my girls were then) now

jgokgotit · Answer

I turn 28 this month and have no kids. I'm glad I do not have kids yet as there are still things in my life I want to sort out first. I think having kids before 25 is not a good idea. It does work out for some people, but most people do not truly have their life together before 25. Even those that do don't yet have enough life experience to be able to effectively raise a child. Depending on career and education requirements for that career, even late 20s can be pushing it. I would like to have children personally when I am 30-35. At those ages I am still young enough that I could handle a young child and their energy level but I'm old enough to keep a cool head. I seriously doubt I'll have a child by 30 since I'm not even in a relationship yet. I refuse to propose to a woman any sooner than 2 years, so I will be 30 years old right there if I even meet someone soon, which even that is in doubt right now. I can understand why women feel the rush to have kids in their 20s, but just because you feel pressured to have kids in your peak is not a good reason to have them. Have the kids when you are ready. Ladies, the relationship game is in your court, not the man's. Just take basic care of yourself and guys will climb out the woodwork to date you. Many millennials are not ready in their 20s due to the financial shitshow we've been dealt. There is no shame in waiting.

razelove · Answer

Psst, switch over to my side of the tracks, compromise, have those babies stability, and just, you know, forget about that strong core of who you are. Simple, right? lol

Hmm, our first was when I was 29, and my wife was 24, would have been a year or so earlier, but there were issues. You can plan and hope, but reality just has you rolling with the punches, and that's just fine :)

Don't have a defeatist attitude, or you might miss good things that come your way. Everything I've seen of you suggests you're a good woman, don't get jaded because a large part of society is buying into BS player narratives on both sides.

Yyyyp789 · Answer

Well in my case I'm turning 27 soon. I have my career and education goals to pursue. Plus I currently don't have a partner/boyfriend either. Although I do wish to have kids before the age of 30. But based on the circumstances it doesn't seems like it. Considering I'm single, marriage doesn't practically happen too soon. It takes few years for the dating phase and to consider someone even potential for marriage. And from my experiences, I can tell that most guys are often hesitant to get married, some are even allergic to the name of it. Perhaps I'm fishing in the pond. But who knows what the future has in store for me.

electromagnetic · Answer

I used to dream about this lavish lifestyle where I would be married with a child by 25 simply because that what I saw from my parents. As I got older and realized how often we had to move because of their jobs, I realized it wasn’t the lifestyle for me. I wanted to explore with someone without having to consider the pressure it will put on my child having to move around like it did to me. I’m not married but I’ve been with my partner for years and we’ve moved around a lot and been to many great countries. Covid has been the only thing to keep us in one place for more than a year. So maybe now we’ll start a family.

Dragonpurple · Answer

A lot of my family just starts having kids soon as they get married, none of them have ever had a child before marriage. Then they keep popping them out until mother nature won't allow it.

I have an uncle with 18 children, my mother has 17 or 18 siblings too, my dad has 12 or so.

I have many other aunts and uncles that have at least a dozen or more kids. Lets just say in this area, my family is doing their part to repopulate the earth... except me and my one child. With my ex wife of course, my current wife and I are unable to have children... and that's been pretty hard.

KingdomForAKiss · Answer

I had my first at 22. I wasn't ready and it was incredibly difficult to be a single parent and finish college. My daughter was 3 when I graduated college and started my career. Ideally, I'd have (been in a loving marriage) waited a bit to at least have finished college. I'd like to have had at least one more before 30 but I am not 32. I tried dating again when my daughter was 8. That relationship was rough and I haven't attempted to date again.

So the likelihood of me having another child is very slim. 35 is my personal cutoff age.

Jitbitkit · Answer

I find this is a hard one and all about preference also. For me, I dont want ti be 40 dealing with young kids. And i dont want to even be early 30s starting off as chances of becoming pregnant are harder and id like to have more freedom as I get older. They say wait until you are older and live your life. Yes , i want to live my life but I dont want to be 40 with a young child. I am 22 now so I want to be pregnant by the time I am 24/25. I am young and I have loads of energy and I would prefer to be older and live my life then. I also want to. be able to see. my grandchildren grow up and see a good fraction of My childrens lives.

katiesmuff · Answer

I was 21 with my first, 31 with my second and 35 with my third. It would have been nicer if second and third were closer to one, but life didn't work that way for me. That being said all the pregnancies were without problems and these kids are the best.

ladsin · Answer

I just turned 27. If I could do things over I would’ve gotten into my current profession earlier rather than going to college and gotten married in my early 20s and started having kids around 25. I still want quite a few kids, but I’m starting our behind.

Alyssa11 · Answer

Honestly and truly, ideally before 30 and even more ideally now. I always pictured myself a young mum at like 22/23. It’s a bit too late now to make that dream come true lol but early 20s would be great anyway. Having a child is a blessing at any age.

HOAAH · Answer

my son was born at 27
my daughter was born at 29
and my last daughter was born at 34

Comparing my pregnancies, my first two was much easier than my last.
I gained so much more weight with my last baby and was much more tired with her pregnancy than the other two.

Babybebe15 · Answer

Late 20s to early 30s. I raised my nephew almost full time from the age of 21 - 24 so I am in no rush to go through raising kids again lol.
And I’m someone who absolutely loved kids, worked with them for years, and wanted a bunch of them, but once you go through it the excitement goes away. Plus raising kids is a lot of work.

ohshee · Answer

Right now in this moment of time I would be doing everything in my power not to have a child the world is a silver right now all the lies manipulation that's going on is for a reason and one day it's going to slap this right in the face and depending on which direction is headed there's no way in this world that I would want to be responsible for a child because depending on what happens it's going to be very hard to take care of the children. And when I have children I want to be in their lives every single day without drama being scared without me getting killed or something in that being around for that child this is not right

exitseven · Answer

we had our 3 kids before age 30. It was a big adjustment and looking back maybe I lacked maturity and patience. Maybe if I was older I would have been better prepared but it was a wild ride at times and now I am 50 and the last one graduates from college in a few weeks. My wife and I are thinking about what the next chapter will be like.

Tiffany_Taylor_Made · Answer

I would rather have kids after 30. I'm 30 now and don't have kids yet, but I want some. I want to get married first, which I will plan after the pandemic ends. It might be until next year that everything is back to normal. When things return to normal, I might focus on having kids at age 31. I thought about having kids when I was in my 20s, but I thought against it because I was more focused on raising my income. At this point, I'm financially stable enough to take some breaks from work for maternity leave.

pleasestopthis · Answer

Before I reached my 20s I thought the ideal age was between 25 and 30 but now I'm reaching my 28th birthday and still got no kids. I still think the ideal age is during your late 20s because by that age people are generally mature enough to raise a child, financially stable and still very fertile. Fertility decreases after that and a lot of people struggle to conceive when they wait too long

genericname85 · Answer

i'm conflicted on this. cause having them earlier is better for my peprsonal life. you know the earlier you get them, the more freedom of obligation you have when you're old, cause your kids will be mature and independend at that point.

but it would probably better for them if they were born later in my life, cause then i'm further in my personal development so that i am able to be a better father than younger me...

HaveNoName · Answer

My first condition was obviously to be married. I never wanted to be married before I was 30 so naturally "before 30" was off the cards. Next consideration was to have kids sooner than later. I would not have wanted to be nearing retirement as the kids are still on college or still trying to settle down. Had both before I was 35.

proNutro · Answer

I wanted to be having one in two years from now but that won’t be happening...
I hope to have my first at least when I’m 27. I’d be fine with having one at 27 and then my seconds at 30. A third after but that’s all.

Ideally would you prefer/have preferred to have kids before or after age 30?

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