Ideally would you prefer/have preferred to have kids before or after age 30? (Page 2)
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No children. I wanted children. I did not meet anyone to settle down to have a family with in my 20s and 30s. I'm in retirement mode now. I'm not thinking about having kids in my late 40s. I'll be working after my retirement age trying to get them through college. Hoping they get a scholarships, etc. My tolerance level is gone for children. I helped raised my family and friend's children. Aunt of 2, many of cousins and Godmother of 10. So, I'm good. I just want to settle down with a good man and keep enjoying life.
Why did you never adopt?
I honestly never had the "maternal clock ticking" issue. I'm good either way. But, I wanted the experience of having my own kids. Seeing myself in them, etc. And, it's too expensive to do the scientific pregnancy. Plus, raising someone's child and not know their family history or gene is a problem for me. I'll only raise a child, if I know their parents. If someone I know left me their child to raise after death, I would do it. Or, gave me their child to raise, because they were unable to do so due to finance, sickness, etc. I would adopt their child and raise them.
In my early twenties I thought I would be a dad in my late twenties and I really wanted it, but then in my early thirties I didn't want it so much and mid-30s I got a vasectomy.
Dang so you never had kids? Not even adopted?
Nope. Never had the urge and never had an accidental.
I'm not sure I want kids but if I do I'd want to finish whatever post secondary education I'm doing first and have them around age 28-32 ish, though my ideals may change in the future.
Sounds good
My first child was born when I was 37. I'm glad I had my 20s to enjoy without kids, and I think 30 is a good age to become a first-time parent.
What is there to really enjoy about 20s? Inwas never a partier. I was a nerd in school and enjoyed school. I enjoyed flirting and the guys i dated in HS and college. But aside from work/school/home life and just being happy to be alive, i never saw what was so enjoyable in the 20s to the point that kids would set me back?
I traveled a lot in my 20s. I was also in the military for much of it, and it's hard to be on deployments and away from your kids.
Now thats different and totally understandable. I thought you just meant travel in terms of wanting to take a vacation
I'd like to add that although I was somewhat older as a first-time parent, I was able to run my kids into exhaustion, rather than the opposite.
Haha thats good to hear. Stay active. I hate i ever stopped being active. I've been working on getting back into shape this year to make sure i can do the same
I had one before 30 and two after.
was young compared to peers and meant I didn't have as much money as they've had for their kids growing up later. Energy wise it's better young.
Good points
I went the later route. Married at 32, son was born when I was 35. Vasectomy, done.
by the way, I thoroughly enjoyed my twenties.
What is there to really enjoy about 20s? I was never a partier. I was a nerd in school and enjoyed school. I enjoyed flirting and the guys i dated in HS and college. But aside from work/school/home life and just being happy to be alive, i never saw what was so enjoyable in the 20s to the point that kids would set me back?
@DizzyDesii omg yes!!! I couldnt relate more
Before 30 and ideally late 20s.
It isn't too late for me just yet, but I am worried about it lol
I would like to have my first child at 27
27 sounds good. Ideally i’d be on kid 2 or 3 by age 27
I'm not sure if I want two or three kids but ideally I hope to be done by the time I'm 34
Yea 34 is where it gets risky
I had my oldest at 28. It was perfect. My second at 32. That was a good age too. If you have your kids in your early 30s that is still great.
I definitely prefer biological be 20s and adopted be 30s
Early 30s and mid-late 30s is still good. :)
34 is where it gets risky
35 is advanced maternal age, but I know many who have had babies after that and none had issues.
Yea i know some too but i know a lot more who did have issues. So i prefer not to risk it
Makes complete sense. ❤️
I want between 2-4 and before 30s but the way life will probably plan out is I'll have the one I have had her at 22
You said you had one at 22?
Yeah she's two now
I’d prefer to have kids before 30, I don’t want to be old with young kiddos, I’m not a big fan of that dynamic.
I fully agree
If you consider 35 old, you are too young to know anything. Please wait
I don’t consider 35 old lol
I do consider 53 old though lmao
See... you know nothing. 53 is not old... as long as you are in to fitness. If not, you should have them young.
lol just because I’m calling you old that doesn’t mean I know nothing. Being into fitness would mean you’re still fit and healthy, but you can be fit and healthy and still old.
@H8INCHES 35 and 53 are not old in terms of
Moving around. Its just old to be having a young kid
Whatever baby girl. I guess you're always right. I'll bow to your wisdom. Convo over
I want at least 3 kids but I will be happy with however many God has in store for me. I prefer any age between 24-32 years old. But I'm trying to get my career going before having kids.
Sounds good. I have no dream career these days so as long as i know i have the finances necessary, i won't base it off of career level
I had my first at 27 and that's fine. If i had a husband younger i would have liked to start around 23.
Both sound great
Yes i had my third at 35 and I'm not complaining.
I think I would like to have a child at 25/26. I know, right? My plan has always been to marry at 25. But you know how that goes. I just want to have the energy to raise them and to be around when they're older so I could give them advice and support them. Of course we never know when we're going to die, but I pray to God it's after all my kids are grown up. It makes me so happy to think of raising kids with my future husband.
Yes this exactly what i hope for as well
I’d want kids in my early 30s, so that I would already be grounded in life and have a house and stuff, I could also have hopefully had my happy years with my wife without kids as well, but if it is twins (especially girls) than I am happy with whenever.
Sounds good
I wanna have kids before 30 also but i want to find the right guy first and a steady job so im hoping after 25 like 26-29? If not my early 30s im really hoping. It's my dream to be a mom but i dont wanna have a baby just to have one, i want my child to have a good life and both parents committed and in love which sheesh that nowadays is rare...
I just know too many kids from single parent homes who turned out fine. So even tho two parent household is the best option, its not the only option
At least 30 and ideally late 30s. 36 is my ideal. I'd like to hoe a bit up till 30 which is when I'll start looking for a serious relationship and my personal rule is to only marry after officially being with someone for 6 years, that's when I'll be open to it, she'll decide when or whether or not.
Side Note: Where do you get the energy to churn out this many posts I just did one and got tired half way through, yena? Props thou.
6 years? Lmao well the type to stick around that long do exist but damn. And lol usually when i have an idea, it all spurts out the same hour 😂
After 30 I'm in no rush. A family isn't my goal in life. I'll have a family if I am inspired to have one. I just see a lot of other issues in the world I'd rather focus on and put my love and efforts into.
Im so opposite haha but understandable
How are you opposite?
Kids has been my main goal in life and i’d prefer before the age of 30
Ah right you did say that. Well what I'm saying is if I did find someone where the love is just more than storybook and so redefining for me and this person who has a similar goal to have a family. I'd do all I can to make her ideal family happen. I have plans and dreams for if I do have a family. I'm just not actively going out to find someone for my own needs and planting seeds. I have a malleable goal in life. Other people in need have been what really drives me overall for most my life. Haven't had a lot of relationship experience though so I try and acknowledge my outlook can easily be flawed and changed. A well loved duo could save the world quite well together. And so could their kids. Maybe I'm being overly clear here, perhaps exceptionally too formal with my writings as well but I do not mind. I occasionally get stuck in this need to begin speaking in this irritably beautiful English accent in my head. My sincerest apologies madame. I do not wish to further waste your time. I shall retire from this convo and hush the fuck up immediately. Toodles!
Had two kids and I'm only 29. Going to do it young so I can keep up with them as teenagers. Me and my dad are good friends and like doing the same stuff but his age prevents him from some of that.
Sounds amazing. How old was your dad
33..
Not too old. Still under 35
I'm not where I want to be. and I would want my future "wife" to be secure as well as my kids. so by 32, I should feel more comfortable. I could afford 1 kid right now tho. but that not the point I still have dreams I want to accomplish.
my only concern is the health of the child older parents have children are higher risk I heard
Yes its true
Before 30, but that would have to happen within the next couple years and I honestly don't see how that's possible for me, personally.
there's in vitro, sperm donors, adoption, foster parenting
Yes, but I'm not financially stable enough to support a child right now. 😂