Which is better: start a family/have kids in your 20’s, or start later in life like in your 30’s?

Question

I come from a culture where we’re pressured to get married by 25. I’m 30. I have bachelor’s degree and I’m aiming to get my masters. I have been working and saving up. But I feel sad seeing my age of females having like 2 kids and husband while I’m single.

At the same time most of those womans main goal in life was just to have kids and a family life. I always wanted to have a education and accomplish something in life. I feel like I did bad choice focusing on my education…

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

You value the career and the education, both of which most men are not going to give a shit about. Women care about that stuff because they want to take the money we make from it. You gonna let a guy take all the money you make?

I doubt it.

What do most men value? ... oh yeah, banging a hot girl in their 20's.

I'm saying you're probably too far gone down the feminist pipeline to turn it around. There is a reason that ideology comes up with shit like "body positivity" which is just fat chicks learning to love themselves at any size, because nobody else is going to love them.

On the bright side, you could give up your hypergamy and hook up with a desperate for pussy beta simp with a slightly below average IQ and a secret gambling problem that has more debt with gambling sharks than you do with college debt. He needs your money more than you do... and will be glad to try and pump a baby into you just to trap you with a baby in exchange for saving him from his crippling gambling addiction.

The most probable outcome is going to be what the other career women turn into. Which is usually living alone, getting obese, and owning small animals. The cats and small dogs become children replacements and to offset the depression they'll take drugs they got through their therapist and there's always a good boxed wine. Another route I see them take is they'll live an opulent lifestyle of material possessions and sleep around with tons of guys that want to smash, but then they just want to dash.

Fortunately, most women realize somewhere in the education phase that working sucks a bag of dicks and they'll ensnare a guy from school, and then "oops, I got pregnant" and they might carry on with the education stuff until they realize kids are a lot of work and they'll finally drop the idea and start voting Republican.

Anyway, I just want to say sorry. You kind of started thinking about this a bit late. You're pretty much a cliche stereotype that guys make fun of in the manosphere. You should look up other women in your shoes and pick out which one you want to be like the most, and then go for it. I mean the wall is undefeated and when you'll hit that wall is quickly approaching... and I doubt you'll hella hit the gym to give yourself any extra time. You're pretty much doomed to talk about your career to men, and they'll just pretend to give a shit so that they'll get to smash... and then dash. Statistically speaking, I think 95% of your eggs are already gone, the rest are rotting. You should be more concerned about learning how to remove that mustache women start to grow.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Ok feelings aside cause I know women will jump in w their emotions. Health wise it’s better in your 20s, as you get older you should know that complications increase w geriatric pregnancy. Geriatric pregnancy starts at age 35. You could still get pregnant in your 30s, that’s not impossible. Your fertility isn’t the best of course. Your egg count drops dramatically as well. Would you want grandchildren? Basically the longer you wait the less chance you have of having grandchildren. What if you have a daughter who says I’m not having children till I’m in my 30s. So you have a child at 35, by the time she has children you will be about 65. No woman that I know of ever said I wish I had gotten my doctors degree when it came to their last breath. They had their family surrounding them. Generations of family that came from her. Plus as you get older your looks start to fade. Not sure how you look now. Maybe you’ve been blessed w good looks so you’re still some what descent looking, can still attract some men. Maybe not, if you weren’t blessed w looks. But even if you still look descent a lot of men want younger women for some of the reasons I just explained. One being chances of a healthier baby. The woman’s youth, her beauty. Something else to consider. You’re well educated sounds like it. Once you finish your bachelors are you going to want a man who makes as much as you? Or would you be ok w some dude who works a minimum wage job? I ask because women tend to want a man who’s on the same level as them or better financially. So the higher education she has, more than likely she makes more than a number of people. Which includes men. So that pool of options for her drops dramatically unless she’s willing to take a man of lesser value financially. Now let’s say you’re not like most women. That you take a lesser financially stable man. What happens when you get pregnant? I’m sure you’d like to stay home w your child for a while. Maybe even till the child turns 18. Could this man take care of the family financially if he was the only income? A lot to consider.

KBird · Accepted Answer

I just finished my masters and I am almost in my 30s. I feel the same way sometimes. But I also think, if they had the opportunity to go to school and continue their career, would they? School, education and work are very important to me. However, they aren't a priority to my friends who have/or are trying to have kids. They have different priorities.

I think that if I can be well educated, then I will have the ability to take care of myself and my family if I need to. If my husband and I divorce, or if he is in an accident, I then have the ability to be able to take care of myself and my family financially. It also will allow me to have my separation (which I need), and allows me to make my own money, instead of relying on him (which my sisters do with their husbands). Not that Im opposed to this, but one of my sisters is in a situation where she wants to leave her husband, but feels like she can't because she doesn't have the money to sustain herself and her kids.

I think having a job post masters and having a family is possible, even though it might be in your 30s. A phrase I strive to live by is, "You can't pour from an empty cup—take care of yourself first."

Razp_Sorbet · Accepted Answer

Whenever you're ready to honestly.

I'm personally at this point in my life where I'm ITCHING to have a kid but my fiance's not ready. And to be fair we aren't financially in the position to right now. There's also this burning thought in my head like, what if something is wrong and I can't get pregnant and I'm just wasting valuable time that could be used for fertility treatments. But I feel like the fear of not being able to get pregnant is pretty normal among those who would like to.

MrOracle · Answer

Your peak fertility window is 18-28. Pregnancies after 35 are considered geriatric and high risk.

Your window for having a career is 18-68 or so.

It's really not difficult to figure out that if a family is important to you at all, then it needs to be prioritized in your early 20s, if not earlier. You have 50 years to work, but only 10 peak years for child-bearing. That's why up through the 70s more than half of all women were married by 21. Prior to 1900, around 70% of women were married by 21

You cannot change biology, though some try.

The problem is that Feminism has taught women pleasant, comfortable lies that they can wait until their 30s to start thinking about a family - which is why the birthrate is in collapse around the world, and why many women will spend the second half of their lives alone.

Women SHOULD be taught to prioritize family in their 20s and then focus on their careers in their 30s, once their kids are in school full time. That would still leave 35-40 years for a career. But you can't get your fertility back if you waste it in your 20s, despite upper-class treatments like IVF, which are expensive and only have about a 50% success rate.

That's not what most women want to hear, because Feminism has taught generations of women that this is oppression, but it is merely biology. And it isn't going to change.

Feminism and corporations worked together to both encourage women to go straight to work (which increases labor supply and lowers labor costs) AND to prioritize consumer spending over families. And here we are.

Babygirl000989 · Answer

Family comes first. I would say if you find a well off man when you are younger, you can leverage on his resources by having a family and also having resources to go to school once those kids are 5 or 6 years old.

The worst thing you can do to yourself is to settle with any man because you feel some sort of pressure. This man will trap you if you make the wrong choice. Unless he is a really good man, a good leader who knows how to take care of yourself and himself, i would keep about my own life, do my own thing, elevate myself, get educated, get more degree, build healthy hobbies and be the best version of yourself until you find that amazing man.

There are many ultra successful women out there who are married to the top 1% of society and no healthy man will say no or tear down an educated partner who makes money and who looks hot and is decent and modest.

Men in the manosphere will make fun of you, but these type of men is the type of avoid because they have no respect for a woman in general. If you find one of them when you are younger, you are a "gold digger" and if you find one of them when you are older, you are "desperate 30 year old dog mom" They are so victimized to their gender and the only way they feel good about themselves is by tearing women apart. But then you look at most of these men are usually all muscles up because they can't get a job, can't get a girl to build a family with, they have so much time to go to the gym while still staying with their mom and their absent father who left his family before teaching them a thing or two about masculinity so they have to learn it from some youtube video.

HighValue · Answer

Have a family first, then when the kids are school age a woman can get a college education and a job.

After 30, most good quality men will have no interest in her because he would have many better options. Dating/relationships ARE a competition when it comes to getting a partner.

A woman that works part time minimum wage that is in her early to mid 20s is far more desirable as a long term partner for a good quality man than a woman in her 30s with a BA or MA that makes $50k to $100k per year.

Many women frequently make life decisions that make them less desirable as a potential partner, then wander why they have to settle for a low quality partner or have nobody. Plus, due to there being so many more women than men alive now, at least 30 million + women in the USA will either have to be lesbian or have nobody just based on the difference in population numbers.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Many of the moms (both single and married alike) I know today who waited till their 30’s so as to get their master’s or even their Ph. D and a few years of career establishment before having kids are some of the best boozers in their 40’s or 50’s today. From what I gather they feel like waiting to have kids trapped them in their adult years. Essentially seeing their friends who had kids when they were in their 20’s have their kids all moved out and on their own now and having the times of their lives now as adults … whilst they still have kids at home or paying for their kids‘ college while still paying for their own mountain of student and seeing no end to.

Lastly, those who wait till later in life to have children I notice seem to suddenly age a lot versus their contemporaries who started early or skipped the whole marriage and kids thing entirely. Such is life.

TDDMS · Answer

For men it's better that he start his family latter in life. For women it's better to start it early in your 20s. The fact that your 30, talking about pursuing a Master's degree soon and have no male prospects . . . . that means you'll probably be in your late 30s if you are lucky enough to get knocked up and that presupposes the man is okay with the situation.

Also, lets be honest here, higher education is wasted on women. Too many get useless degrees that don't make them better women. Or they get these advanced degrees that are never used nor make them better women. Your best option at this point is to find a man, explain to him that you've made bad decisions in life and want to atone for them, and submit yourself to his manliness. And get knocked up ASAP.

Apple1996 · Answer

It's different for everyone. Personally me and my hubby like having kids younger so we can spend more time with them and in our 30s and 40s it'll be more relaxing not having to chase around toddlers and change diapers. They'll be teens, we can travel and have fun with them. It's easier doing the baby days now since we have the energy for it in our 20s.

Shiprex · Answer

It's not bad or good. That's all the value you currently put on those life experiences. The stressed out parent of two who has a partner may envy you right now with fewer responsibilities, more freedom to do and go as you please and even more money to yourself and the opportunities that arise from that.

If you value family then it's still within you to achieve that but it's your choice.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Probably 20s, since you're still young and full of life. You can chase around the little ones, stay up at night to nurse them, and not feel like a wreck in the morning. Plus, biologically you're most likely to have the healthiest kids at that age..

exitseven · Answer

We had our 3 kids before we turned 30. I am glad because they are all done with college and living other their own and my wife and I are still relatively young and enjoy life. It really was a struggle at times because we were not rich. I have a cousin my age and he has a ten year old daughter. He will be paying tuition bills until he is in his 60s.

RavVid · Answer

Easier to have kids in your 20's and easier to establish a relationship in which to have them.

Both get harder in your 30's. I am for example far more cynical now I have clocked over 30. Just getting pregnant is harder for a woman in her 30's.

Anonymous · Answer

Earlier is better. So many couples barely see their kids with work and spend a fortune on childcare and travel. As a younger mother you have more energy, giving birth is easier, your body returns to normal more easily when you are 40 they will be 20 and if they have grandchildren you may be young and healthy enough to enjoy them and help out, zero stress getting pregnant.

RingOfFire · Answer

20s.

Late teens to mid-twenties is the biological ideal age for women to bear children. That's the natural course and nature does everything for a reason. It's more likely to lead to a successful family unit.

But you only live once, it's your life and not someone else's and you have to make your own decisions. Sometimes it's not easy.

GlowUpGirly5 · Answer

You could've focused on both yet chose not to. At the same time you're aged 30-35 years old why aren't you married? Did you not go out and meet people or do men just not find you attractive? Because even in college if you were attractive a man would have approached you. There's plenty of opportunities there.

Anonymous · Answer

20s because the kids produced would be much healthier as opposed to later years

women begin to lose eggs and have pregnancy issues the older they get

men begin to lose testosterone and sperm quality dips if they fail to maintain it which many do because their body no longer heals like it used to maintain those testosterone levels

not only are lower quantity of kids are produced but lower quality of kids are produced

molonski2 · Answer

Biologically , the answer is your 20s or late teens..

Emotionally and financially late 30s and beyond. I'm an awesome father now compared to when I was 28 with no time and no money , these are the issues.

Staximus · Answer

If you were so worried about education, you should have had your master's degree by age 24. You can't start college late and then want to have kids even later. Have kids early and start college later, or start college early and have kids later, but not start college late and have kids later. That's just dumb.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Well there is positives and negatives for both.. but I say if you have a man have fun with him in your 20's travel do things, make your money then when you are older you guys can have kids.

Notherndude84 · Answer

Have babies in your 20’s when you’re best able to produce healthy offspring. It’s only since dumb feminists promoted the downfall of the family that women stopped having babies in the proper season of life.

Kelly6 · Answer

both have pro and con.

good thing to have kid at 20s is that you are in good physical to raise kids, but financial difficulties.

In 30s its other way around. Good finance but not good physical to raise kids.

Anonymous · Answer

Two different paths. Sounds like you're committed to the career route which is fine but if you're looking for a man time is running out and you might find they are looking for a more traditional woman who may well be younger and more fertile.

ForevrLonely29 · Answer

Sadly, I will not be a dad until at least 31. I am 30 and just got engaged 6 months ago. Before her, I never had a real girlfriend. I wish I got the ball rolling earlier in life.

YourExLover69 · Answer

In south Asian region it's better to marry early. I'm in my 30s haven't married yet. Sometimes I feel that way too

Sunrising · Answer

Definitely start in your 30's or I've made a wrong decision !

glennos89 · Answer

Everyone has to decide this for him or herself! There isn't really 1 thing better then the other it's all up to preferences

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

Your fertility drops quickly after 30, and your egg quality as well. It's not the end, but I'd certainly start focusing on finding a husband.

NicholasRedone · Answer

Be free and unrestrained in 20s - the 30s just become 😮🤤

HungTexan · Answer

It depends on the individual, but I think waiting till your early 30s is often the best option.

Smegskull · Answer

20s.
If you have children too late you don't have the energy to raise them the best you can.
Also if you are retiring before they have built a career or started their own family you will burden them too much and hinder their progress.

es20490446e · Answer

dsfdsf

MikeRJ · Answer

I'm in my 40s and would still like a family. Of course, there are different biological realities between men and women when it comes to reproduction.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Since I don't believe men should marry until about forty and women, thirty to thirty-five, I say late thirties to early forties, no more than three children.

PsychicBoobs · Answer

Depends on how mentally and financially stable a person is.

Tomisworthless · Answer

My mom doesn't expect grandkids from me, but she's the only person in my life that doesn't believe im a fa**ot

JohnWalker · Answer

You did. Hopefully you have a nice rack or you might really be fucked.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

The earlier the better because you start to run out of energy as you get older especially when it comes to raising kids.

zagor · Answer

For guys, 40's. For girls, late 30's. Who wants your most active years ruined by rugrats?

debtfree_oneyear · Answer

This question and it's answer probably matters more for women than men

Yulia-Bel · Answer

Earlier. From my experience, younger families tend to be more dysfunctional.

masterSir · Answer

20's, would you rather be running kids around for sports when you're 40 or 50?

Kathryn2003 · Answer

When you feel it's right.

QuineJessica · Answer

I think have children until 30 is crazy

chrissykerdock · Answer

ideal your 20s but if it's 30s so be it

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Younger is better.

Crazzyyworld · Answer

The sooner the better

Jay-_- · Answer

What @kelly6 said gotta be a bullseye. 🎯

MrTaboo · Answer

The earlier the better

Sunnylife5228 · Answer

30s tbh. Or not at all.

Anonymous · Answer

For girls 20, for guys 40

Which is better: start a family/have kids in your 20’s, or start later in life like in your 30’s?

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Which is better: start a family/have kids in your 20’s, or start later in life like in your 30’s?

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