Is it better to have kids earlier in life or later in life?

[Flower7]

Earlier is better.

Later is better.

[shaysh87]

later but not too late. why?

Your young years are the only time in your life where you can freely hangout with friends any time you want after work. This is the only time of your life where you still have the energy to explore the world , meet all sorts of different people , explore all your hobbies. Don't wait until your kids are grown at 50 years old to start learning how to rollerblade or ski or sky dive or visit 3 countries. You won't have the same energy at 25 compared to 50. If you want to discover a new hobby or go on an adventure, do it while you're young.

When you have kids, your life revolves around your children. After work, you need to rush home to cook and clean for your kids. You won't have time to hangout for a drink at the bar. On weekends, which are your only days off from work, you need to take your kids to the doctor or tutor your child who isn't doing well in school, cook for your children's lunch boxes. If you want to go on a two week vacation, you need to bring your kids with you or pay for an expensive baby sitter or you can't go on vacation because your kids are still coming home from school daily. Life gets complicated once you become a parent.

Have all your fun while you still own your life. Because once you have your kids, your life will revolve around them. Sure your kids will be adults by the time you're 50. But its harder to make friends when you're 50 compared to when you're 25. You won't have nearly as much energy to take on the world either.

Secondly, if you do not build your career before having kids, YOU WILL SUFFER raising them. I have seen countless parents who decided to have kids prior to developing their careers, and trust me, they are not happy people. Its not only you will suffer, but your kids will also suffer from the lack of resources. Kids are expensive. You need to have enough money not only to feed / clothe your child but also send your kid to college in order to provide them a decent education and future.

Thirdly, having kids too late in life will be harder for you and also less enjoyable for your child. My parents birthed me at 37 and my brother at 40. When you're 53 years old, you won't have the energy to keep up with a 10-17 yr old. Raising little kids or teenagers can be a lot of work and a headache. Older parents are less likely to be good at relating or playing with their children since their mischievous, childlike sense of humor is long gone. You won't share a similar sense of humor with your children. Besides this, there is a likely chance you will be working way into your 60s, beyond retirement age, to support your family. It will be very tough on you.

[Iwant2kno]

I think is best to have children when one is “prepared”, because last thing a parent would want is to bring a child to this world surrounded by scarcity, uncertainty and regret.

[WagyuMoo]

My parents had me later F38 and M42. I turn 28 this August and my preference is to have children earlier.
But I think my right answer is to have children when you're ready. I lost both my parents to cancer dad at 10 in 2005 and mom at 27 last year. I won't ever have the experience of seeing my parents hold my future children or have them at my wedding. 3/4 of my own grand parents were gone before I was even born and my grandmother lived in her home country.
I don't want my future children to lose out on these experiences. I myself want to be there for them and I want to live long enough to meet my children's children if my body doesn't fail me first because I've already experienced cancer as well. It was lung cancer and I wasn't a smoker nor is it hereditary so it chalks up to bad luck.

But yeah my right answer is when I'm ready. Not everyone's right answer will be the same.
Sorry for the rant 😅

[Flower7]

It was fine. I enjoyed hearing your story.

Sorry you lost both of your parents already. You’re still very young.

That’s definitely a downside to having children at a late age. Along with not getting to meet grandchildren.

[sofia444]

That's really sad. I want my parents to live longer.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

In my opinion, both have their pros and cons.
My mother was a teen when she had me - the pro is that now that I'm an adult she's still very young and can have her life without worring about her kids. As a con, she wasn't mature enough during the early years and often would get frustrated and leave me for periods because she didn't want to miss out on her "best years".
My father, on the other hand, was 40 when I was born, and so had plenty of experience and maturity for his role - however, our vast age difference means that sometimes it's really difficult to connect and find common grounds.

[Flower7]

Very big age difference between your parents!

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Yes, and it was a cause of their rift naturally.

[Varanus]

Not at all, unless you really really want kids and aren't being pressured into it.

But if you definitely want to have kids, I'd say maybe 28-35 is the right age. Enough time to become educated, to have a life, and to develop a personality, but not so late that it's a huge health risk to become pregnant. I find people who have a child too early have their entire life swamped by the pressures of raising kids, and their whole personality is subsumed by the experience. And I think that's bad for the kids; to set a good example you need to have some goals and purpose in life beyond just breeding.

[HighlyVolatile]

Later seems wiser but sometimes later works its way to never. Sometimes you just have to get ready for what life throws into your lap. Sometimes it's about seizing a foolish opportunity or not having any left at all.

Every person who makes a tidal wave in this world is probably a bit foolish. You can't play your life that safe and expect it to be so meaningful. Most people can't say, this is my year to have kids. They say that and they find no one to make it happen or they find it's too late.

[Screenwriter]

I only have one experience: later in life. Not too late: at 39. Still young enough to run around after them. I'd say whatever time, it's best to be as healthy as possible so you CAN run after them.

I think I had more patience and wisdom about what good things to offer to my son than someone too young. Other than that, doesn't matter what age you are: You need to give your kids self-esteem, emotional support and love. Having decent finances is also important, but not essential. Be creative in your spending and you can always do well.

[Amy10223]

Doctors would like women to have them earlier in life, rather than later. Makes sense. There’s less of a chance the baby would be born with a chromosomal abnormality, and the woman is more likely to be healthier to have a child. However, I know women who have had healthy children in their 40’s. One in Italy gave birth to a child in her 60’s. It depends on the woman. For me personally, I feel women have more strength, endurance, and patience at a younger age and not older. I wouldn’t be able to take care of a 10 yr old if say, I was 50 or older.

[KitsuneFoxSpirit]

Middle.
The average "early" couple doesn't have any decent education or jobs, has more than likely hooked up with whoever is available, and all in all know little to nothing. It's like children having children & in today's society probably one of the stupidest things to do.

What when as a woman you're spending 5+ years on raising a kid to at least preschool age your peers are getting educated, getting decent jobs or getting good reputations, etc. So by the time seriously enter the workforce... you are well behind everyone else.

The same applies to men. A number of senior or managerial jobs will not even consider young parents. Why? Because they don't consider you responsible or reliable. And that's understandable. If a child is sick most parents are going to put the child first.

[Kaamraj]

Considering a two parent houshold, it's beneficial for the child to have a father who is older and a mother who is younger. That means that there will be an age gap between the father and mother. When the child is an infant the father need not be there physically, however later in life espicially boys the father is a must as a deciplinarian and later as a friend. And to give the child the best start in life needs life experiences and money. And for vast majority of men that comes only with age given that they have established themselves in some field of profession. Now why I say that the mother should be younger is purely because of biological reasons. Remember that the father's job during conception lasts hardly two minutes, biologically his only job is to deposit viable motile sperm inside the vagina. Everything from there is upto the female biology.

[Reaper1985]

some studies show that the best change for a healthy female to naturally have children. is roughly between 16-30 for her first and up to 45 for each one after that. not saying she can't still have children otherwise but she may require medical help to some degree.

but if she has them at a younger age she is more likely to have the energy required to raise them. while also having a good chance to get back to her pre-baby or better figure. again this can verse to some degree depending on the female in question.

[Reaper1985]

typo *can very to some degree*

[DonkeyDan]

I'd say when you're still young and life hasn't beaten the crap out if you yet. I don't eant kids anymore and feel I'm too old now, and probably too jaded.
My parents were older when they had me, and I do think that contributed to the problems between us.

[Flower7]

True, when there’s a really big age difference between the parents and kids, that can make it harder for them to relate to each other.

[Johnagain]

Generally, earlier is better, but not TOO early. In my opinion, around 23 to 33 is a good target age range. But the partners have to be mature enough and committed to being parents, together for 21 years at least. (I think) And also, in my opinion, That's almost impossible for most couples under 30. I've seen it take until they're in their 40's and 50's before most of the parents I know come around to being the well-adjusted, mature adults we all need to be. But having kids too late, like over 40, can be hazardous, and lead to negative complications. Personally, I never worried about the age, but that's just water under the bridge now... I'm a grandfather.

[DaySpring]

@Flower7 It is about being ready in my opinion but most are never ready. I think it depends on your motives. Some people choose to have kids early because they don't want to be old with kids. Some people have them later because they want to have their life together, as best they know, and provide the child with the best life possible.

I think 30 is the perfect age on average. If you're not ready by about 30 and you're an average person, then you probably will never be ready.

[MarkRet]

Probably earlier in life. You can keep up with the kids physically and mentally a lot better. It's better to have one generation separating adults and kids rather than two. My parents had me later in life, and my dad always had the excuse "I'm too old to do (whatever)".

[Wsx2wsx2ws]

Later. Kids rasing kids. It really is hard to understand life when a person has lived so little of it. Has developed so little of his own personality. Has accomplished so little. But sadly, I honestly think as bad as the world is getting maybe not having them might be smarter.

[TwinkleLily5]

Earlier because the younger the better chance of having less complications and your less likely to have health issues that could impact your pregnancy for instance high blood pressure etc.
you’ll also have more energy when your younger
My sister is 32 and my niece is 24 they both recently had babies and I see the difference.

[Chris_7565]

We were both 27 when our baby was born. It seemed like a good age to do it.
We were both still young and in good health, and we would theoretically have more years with our children. Plus, if you wait too long your kids could basically end up having to take care of you in their 20's, which isn't ideal for them when they would probably like to start a family of their own.

[libsaretards]

Later. When you are in your early 20s you are just learning life and trying to get things together and not really able to properly support a family. Also, when you date and get married you need the first couple of years of marriage to develop the marriage BEFORE having kids.

[alice55]

Not sure by a biological sense earlier is better though the more time you wait the more the world become a better place (better healthcare and better laws) so I would say waiting a bit is better. Like instead of having children at 20 better have them at like 27 / 28 though it also depend on many children you want. If you want one or two later is better but if you want a lot like 5 / 6 children you need to do them earlier.

[mobiusforniner]

Earlier. Considering I'm 35 with now extremely high blood pressure brought on by the stress and inconsistency in raising kids... I can't imagine it being 10 years later. I'll probably be dead.

[Flower7]

How old are your kids?

[mobiusforniner]

4 and 8. I love them. But holy hell, I don't feel my age until I try to keep up with them. They can jump off the sides of walls.

[Chlo3_2001]

Not at all should be an option too. Having kids is definitely a choice. I personally don't want to have kids and find a fulfilling and happy life without bringing someone else in to it. Having kids is kind of overrated in my opinion. But if others want to have kids that's great and I'm happy for them. I guess it would depend on how many they want. No earlier than 23 if they want a big family I suppose? 26 Seems like a good starting age for many. But you can't really measure it.

[OlderAndWiser]

This link takes you to something I wrote about five years ago on the subject of when yu should get married. Part of that decision revlves around having children and when that should happen.

When Should You Get Married? ↗

[Djaay]

Earlier is best , where I've had both and the earlier ones are way better off. The new trend of waiting to long will bring serious REGRET into your sorrows beleive me. Thinking that all will be good later vrs sooner is a cop out. The struggle is very much easier sooner than later according to leaning on your own understanding , which usually becomes and trial and tribulational failure.