What's the difference between having kids in your early/mid 20s vs having kids in your early 40s?

Question

I had two kids when I was 23 and 25. I'm now 41, and pregnant with twins.

I was just wondering, does anyone have any insight into what the big differences are between having kids in your early/mid 20s vs having them in your early 40s?

4ngelic · Accepted Answer

if you have them young you have a lot of energy and for longer, you can do more things with them especially if they want to do something more active, you feel more connected and maybe closer to them since the generational and age gap is smaller, they're less likely to be embarassed by you at school because you'll be viewed as cooler since you're the young parent. though on the downside you're probs broke and wiill take some time to get money so it's going to be harder to take care of your kid optimaly, send them to good schools, fund their hobbies or spoil their them. you're also probably immature and are a lot more likely to make mistakes raising the kids and to be too permissive.

if you're an older parent, you'll have less energy to raise them and it will harder to do fun things with them because of aging. you'll have a harder time relating to them and most likely you will be the uncool boomer to your kids and their friends. you have a lot more money to raise them well and make them happy. you're a lot more mature and will probs make better decisions in raising them

DishLady · Accepted Answer

PRO-20s:  In your 20s you have the energy to chase your kids around, climb along with them on the monkey bars, go skating and such with them... you're still a kid yourself and while you're possibly still relatively clueless, you're in better shape and have more stamina to keep your kids engaged and excited about the real world.  CON-20s:  You're possibly just starting out in your married life and in your professional life, so possibly not stable enough in life to really have kids. PRO-40s:  In your 40s you have more general know-how and have seen your friends get married and raise their kids, so you can follow trends a bit better, etc. etc. etc. You're established and stable in life, so you know what you want. CON-40s:  It's a riskier pregnancy in general, and afterwards you have less stamina to run after your kid. Presuming you want more than one kid, you have to rush and have them back-to-back... it's not possible for everyone...

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

God bless you for having kids again and congrats on Twins , Mu mom was a twin 😋 so being in your 40’s I couldn’t imagine starting over to be honest with you , considering I had kids in my 20’s and now they are pretty Much on their way into the world so I plan on doing things I couldn’t really do when I was raising babies , so I guess the only difference would be , you are older now and you are more than likely going to experience aches and pains that you didn’t experience in your 20’s is my guess

TommyMountainFigure · Accepted Answer

Firstly congratulations on being pregnant again.

I think it has to do with older = more risks to you and baby, but you would already know that, and older means having less of your life spending with your child as he or she grows up..

My goodness. I apologise, I never intended on sounding so morbid..

midnightmoon05 · Answer

depends if you have trained your two older kids to be loving, kind, respectful and responsible… if you have… they would be the older siblings to help out. If not, you are on your own with twins and that itself is a big challenge regardless of age.

my friend had twins in her 30s. She stayed home, had a full time nanny…even then was still hard. I went to help her for 2 weeks and other friends/family took turn to help. Her girls are a teenagers now and doing very well.
my ex hubbys new wife at 47 just had a first time baby. She is struggling and wanting to bring her baby back to her country so she can get her aunt to help. I don’t know why her parents are not helping.
I told my ex hubby that I would help. Since I have experiences and I have a big family support.
I hope you have support.

dustybiker2 · Answer

My mum had my sister when she was 40 and me when she was 44. She didn't go into menopause until 57. She was just as active and fun as a twenty year old, which meant more active than most of my friends mothers. Everyone loved my mum. She even raced boys down Santa Monica blvd back in the day, and won. She didn't slow down until 83 when she had an accident and head injury. Point is, it's the woman. Not the age.

Stay fit. Focus on your health. Being at top fitness not only feels great it will allow you to keep up with those twins.

Congrats!!

Jessikaah91 · Answer

Okay so my eldest daughter is 12, I was a few weeks off my 21st when I had her, my next daughter is 18 months I was 31 there abouts my next daughter is only 9 weeks. Even pregnancy you feel the massive difference from being 20 to being 30.. I was able to walk everywhere with my first even tho I did have a bit of swelling but wasn't that bad.. but when getting pregnant with the other two it became worst for each one.. my last I wasn't walking at all I was so uncomfortable then when they're born I had more energy with my first.. my other two I feel like death most days! So definitely can't imagine being 40 and having another. It's crazy.

Minky17 · Answer

The big difference is health of the body in 20s compared to 40s. If you're healthier in 40s than you were in 20s, you will have a pregnancy with few complications/birth defects. Also the difference is also maturation. In 20s, you didn't have the experience of childbirth and rearing yet but at 40s, you have the experience so the mindset and rearing abilities should evolve as you are more skilled.

kylee2437 · Answer

I think it depends on your own personal outlook. I personally think wanting a child in your 20s leads to a lot of mistakes in terms of partner choosing, as there’s lots of room to be picking the wrong one at that age. I would rather be the 40 year old to have a child knowing that I’m more likely going to choose someone that will be at least be more likely to be a responsible present parent, even if we don’t end up together.

Avicenna · Answer

I didn't have my first until I was 37, so I can't speak to being a younger parent, but I was more mature and had more money to spend on the kids than I would have in my early 20s. And, yes, I had no trouble doing outdoors activities with them just because I was older (I keep myself in shape).

FunkyMonkee · Answer

The only difference is, your body can deal with it better at 20 than at 40, unless you've already had a bunch before then and, it means that they won't be adults until you're old enough to be a grandmother. Grandma had dad when she was about 44. He didn't get married `til she was in her early 70's.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Well... in theory your eggs are healthier and your body can recooperate from the pregnancy faster. Also, your financial situation towards the latter half of life will be easier if you aren't paying for college educations and what not at around the time you would normally be thinking about retirement.

Apple1996 · Answer

Less time, energy, money, health, patience when you are a older parent. I purposefully had my kids young because I seen all the downfalls of having older parents

EmmaMary · Answer

Gosh... That is a huge gap... I do so wish you all the luck in the world with both your pregnancy and delivery. xxx

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

If your health is worse than it was when you last had kids, the risk of birth defects is higher, and you may have a harder time caring for them and keeping up with them.

But other than that, if they are born healthy, nothing.

SugarSugarplum · Answer

From what I hear, the younger you are the better. It takes strength and endurance to bear a child, and then to raise them until they move out at age 35 (LOL).

provokeesmokee · Answer

In your 40s, you will significantly increase the risk of birth defects and health consequences for your unborn child.

genericname85 · Answer

the difference is that in your 40s you have a higher chance of giving birth to a disabled kid. in your 20s you have a higher chance of fucking up the parenting xD

DrPepper12 · Answer

It's like riding a bike but you're going to need a more comfortable seat and a thicker helmet, knee pads and elbow pads. I also hope that you have family support because that will make all the difference.

Anonymous · Answer

Well, I'll probably have a kid near 40. I cannot say but I'm sure it will hurt like all hell. The first time, she popped out. Age is a consideration, so I'm thinking it will hurt a lot more.

Fireguy17 · Answer

In your 20s you had the energy for kids. In your 40s you dont..

exitseven · Answer

If you wait until you are 40 you will be paying for college until you die.

OhLongJohnsoning · Answer

Nothing, just that it's 20 years more I don't want kids, at all. So, here's me having a "difference"

LiamJHayden · Answer

One difference would be a higher chance of no being around to see your kid graduate.

xavid9 · Answer

Actually having kids make u look aged but there's no difference I think so

IslaTheWitch · Answer

experience and energy

paledreams · Answer

Probably risky somehow im no medic

noohair · Answer

You will be a lot more tired.

OddBeMe · Answer

Mo money. Mo stability.

Thumper2thump · Answer

you have less energy

jahaims · Answer

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