Is ''boys will be boys'' just as toxic as ''the sister code'' even if they're in the wrong?

[FordRoger]

I've heard of cases where people took ''boys will be boys'' (aka bros before hoes) and ''the sister code'' too far, to the point of supporting and enabling toxic behaviors just because it's your own gender. Supporting should be about having each other's back for good things, when it's rightfully needed, when it's about overcoming obstacles... not when it's about allowing bullying, cheating and other bad things they do. Has that phrase become toxic by now?

For instance if I had a best friend that was cheating on his wife for thrills even though he admits to having a happy marriage and lying every day to his kids why would I support that? Must ''boys will be boys'' (bros before hoes) be applied in that too?

Women work in similar manners with the so called ''sister code''. So if a woman is clearly in the wrong, would other women support that bad behavior just because she's a woman too?

[Anonymous]

Never heard of sister code, do you mean girl code? If so then I should clarify what that means, at least in the context I’ve heard it used.


Girl code basically comes down to having a certain level of respect for each other as women and as friends when it comes to men in our past or current love interests.


Like if I know my friend is interested in a certain guy, I won’t go after him, or if I find out she dated someone I’m talking to, I’d end it out of respect for her. That is unless she specified being fine with us dating, maybe they were together s long time ago but in any case she’s moved on.


This is what I’m guessing is similar to bro code, there’s boundaries you won’t cross with one another and a certain level of respect or looking out for one another.


This to me is different than boys will be boys. That phrase has enabled and excused so many toxic, disgusting behaviors and scenarios for generations. Like if a man feels entitled to sexually assaulting and harassing women, and another man brushes it off as “boys will be boys”.

[inhua]

a man cheating on his wife is not a case of bros before hoes. such a man can't be trusted with bros either because he might try to steal his bro's wife

when it comes to siding with one another person due to similar identities, I think it's silly and it should be based on facts and logic not feelings and emotions

in terms of men siding with men, there's not much of it. you're more likely to see men side with women against other men

the feminist hive mind however is virtually unconquerable because as long as feminism preys on the primitive fears and primitive desires of women, it'll always be relevant

[Vesuvius87]

I have to agree with the two last sentences. That is exactly what is ruining it for the rest of us and making it impossible to get a proposal from a man nowadays.