You ever have that one friend who keep making bad decisions should I help him out agin?

[Anonymous]

So my friend lives in Canada and has black out windown tints that he keeps getting tickets for. He owns $600 in tickets then about $1700 in loans for other things. I keep telling him take kdd the tints since everytime he pays them off he ends up owning more money. He has about $300 left to his name for the rest of the month and asked If I could help him.
I consider it but he already owns me $600 for the past 2 years and am tried of his bas choices. He lives off govement help at $1800 a month he says finding a job isn't easy.

I keep telling him he needs to apply to as many Jobs as he can then start going down in person to speak with a Manger since he doesn't work at all.

I myself did the same thing then got a job I even spent 60 last month living off less then $80 since I went back to school

[provokeesmokee]

Lol, that kid is stupid as fuck. Tinting your windows is hardly worth amount of money, in my opinion. But I'm not stupid as fuck.

I had acquaintances like that. And, when I was younger, a friend like that.

Acquaintance wanted to be game designers, and kept complaining he couldn't do it. Eventually, I stopped engaging at all.

Exfriend wanted to be a UN translator. English only speaker, had THE WORST English language skills I've ever seen from a native speaker, and never improved. She also started acting like I owed her way more attention than I could provide, and she was the first friend I had to "break up" with.

Some folks aren't really constructive to your life. That's okay.

Don't give that guy any money. He'll just waste it.

[Asker]

I refuse to give him anymore since I told him I was going back to school for another proglerm so I can make $30 a hour instead of the $27 I now make as of 3 days ago. It sounds like you have a lot of experience with people like Mt friend... he's a kind person I've just given up on him. He says be wants to do hard labor jobs but has to get his ged first

[provokeesmokee]

Yeah, there's a ton of people like that. I used to get irritated but now I just figure "hey, do you, and if you never improve that sucks for you".

I try to engage in good faith, but sometimes folks really don't want to put in effort. Those folks I just move on from.

[Asker]

Hard to move on since I knownhim for 10 years

[provokeesmokee]

I hear you. It can be hard, but sometimes hard lessons are what folks like that need. And you also don't deserve to be annoyed, especially by a supposed friend of ten years.

[kylee2437]

The last friend I helped out that was like this, we aren’t friends anymore. Good luck seeing that money. Usually a person that is financially unstable will either sink in it or will try to straighten it out only after they aren’t getting help from people anymore

[Asker]

I didn't give him anymore I start school this week and gotta pay $500

[kylee2437]

Understand but I’m just warning you from experience, once he can’t use you anymore your friendship with him is most likely going to be done with

[Asker]

Guest I'll have to put that too the test and stop helping him for a few months. We been friends for almost 10 years

[kylee2437]

Put it to the test. A friendship shouldn’t consist of a person not paying someone back. Your money that is owed to you is also a bill and I considered it disrespect when my ex friend didn’t treat my money like it was a bill she needed to pay back

[Asker]

I can argee with that if I own someone money I always consider it a bill and pay it back as soon as I can. I've been somewhat understanding since I see my friends been out of a Job depressed and somewhat trying. His family wants him to stay On govement help

[kylee2437]

You need to ask yourself if he would do the same for you though. It’s a slippery slope. You feel bad but what had he done for himself? Depression can only be so much of an excuse

[Asker]

Zero idea since he's never been put in that position he paid me $100 once but that was over 2 years ago. I once told him he wouldn't be able to change his life he went Mia for abit got a job a car then his house place but had to move back in with family and isn't at that job anymore that was also 2 years ago

[kylee2437]

Seems like you already know he’s full of shit, and it’s going to get worse. I was in this same spot and I cared up until I didn’t, and I didn’t care about losing the friendship. It’s sad but life goes on, we deserve peace and we deserve people around us that are just like us and are stable and kind. You don’t deserve to be put in financially unstable positions because you had to help him out. Have to put yourself first.

[Asker]

You 100% right I'll have the ability to help in 1 months once my new job income kicks in but don't know if I really want to at this point anymore even if am making $4300 a month

[kylee2437]

I think you helped him enough. He needs to put his big boy pants on. Depression is not an excuse to not be a functioning adult. Depression sucks and I have moments where I do lay in bed all day but I have a job, my own money etc. it’s not an excuse

[Asker]

I feel you am currrntly depressed myself but still do everything grown up should do. I just had a 8 year relationship end 5 months ago and was almost married to Said person 3 months ago. If you let depressed take over then things will only get worse

[jb2622]

I wouldn't give him any more money until he pays back what he owns. If you do give him money it's a gift not a loan. Offer to help him find a job look over his resume ext.

[Asker]

I given him advice he just won't listen

[jb2622]

You can't help everyone, you might not be able to help him. Doesn't sound like he will change and throwing money at it will only leave you in a bad place.

[Asker]

Thank you doe the advice