Hello, I have a close friend of 8-9 years and she doesn't listen to me no matter how much I warn her. I am not a social person who likes to talk on the phone and text every day. Even the closest person I call (my family) doesn't take more than 1 hour to talk to. No matter how well I warn my friend or express my discomfort, she calls and texts me every day, no matter what I do. I think she is trying to see if I am just looking at my phone, even on Instagram. She is not a bad person, but this friendship harms me and I become unable to do my daily work. I stayed up late last night because of their selfish behavior, I was late to work because i couldnt wake up in morning. What are your thoughts on what you would do if you were in this situation?
Note: Every time I warn her, a fight breaks out, she says i am manipulating her, or she gets angry. Or she would make an excuse like "I haven't been doing this for years, I have a problem now", but even when she said she wasn't doing it, it was just a little bit less than that, it was still the same, and I was uncomfortable.
Note: Every time I warn her, a fight breaks out, she says i am manipulating her, or she gets angry. Or she would make an excuse like "I haven't been doing this for years, I have a problem now", but even when she said she wasn't doing it, it was just a little bit less than that, it was still the same, and I was uncomfortable.
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Basically you need to delay your responses to her, in order to discourage her constant contact. She's addicted to contacting you, and every time you respond quickly, she gets a 'hit' and it reinforces her addiction.
Stop replying to messages so quickly. You need to break that mindset of hers that if she messages you, then she's going to get a quick reply.
Stop answering the phone if you don't have time or don't want to speak to her at that time. You can send her a message 10min later saying you can't talk at the moment. It's probably better not to start giving reasons, because then she'll expect a reason every single time.
When you're on the phone and she's sucking up a lot of time, you need to have to guts to say you need to go. And once you say it, you need to stick to it and not get sucked in to more conversation. Otherwise she won't take you seriously next time you say you need to go.
Whenever i do like this she gets so insecure and she stops talkin to me all together. Then maybe after a year later she calls me cryin n says she valued me so much why i never call her never text her she is mad at me and she literally calls me 6 hrs long i have screenshots of how crazy it is literal 6 hrs