Should I go visit my stepmother who treats me like a slave?

[Anonymous]

When I was little, she and my older step-sister, made me suffer a lot, they didn't let me know anything about the money I inherited from my father, and they made me do all chores and even wash their dirty underwear in a washtub with cold water every day. they treated me like I'm slave. She is ill now. Should I go visit her?

[Screenwriter]

That is completely up to you. It's useless to carry a grudge since you have no idea why this woman and her daughter appeared to be envious/jealous of you.

Forgive her for her earlier stupidity and see how your visit goes. If she and/or the daughter returns to mistreating you, I'd say it's pointless to continue seeing her.

Take care of yourself first. Don't re-expose yourself to that early abuse if either of them haven't changed their ways. I can't tell you what might happen. Be prepared for it not turning out well, and exit if it doesn't.

Then if things go better, you might be able to forge a new relationship.

[RoseySarah]

Why would you want to?

Why do you think you should?

There is nothing to gain from it

[NaultD]

You're a grown man now and can represent yourself to the man you want to be with a level of respect that you couldn't as a child.

Be the better man you want to be if you do meet them. If you can't be the man you want to be, you don't or even should meet them to better yourself until you can.

[robhazelnut]

You don't have to. She hasn't earned it, and in fact owes you help but is probably incapable of giving any and has behavioral evidence of just trying to hurt you even on her deathbed. If I were in your shoes I'd let her go and send kind feelings to memories of her after she passes away.

[Billlewis]

If you ever get tired of her, I'll be happy to take your place;)

[Asker]

why?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Your question sounds a bit like

“Should I forgive them?”

and my answer would be - Yes…

Not because they deserve it, but because you deserve it.

I don’t hold any grudges to the people who have hurt me, I chose to forgive them and the moment I did so, my eyebrows opened, my eyes relaxed and the tension of rage and unfairness had left my body. I became light like a feather…

What other people do to us, is not our choice… How we look at it - is our choice.

Don’t see yourself as a victim, things happen, bad things happen to good people, It’s okay, we get stronger and better from any situation.

I am sure you are now better equipped to handle your life than you would be had you known about your inheritance.

You are now in a place where you can forgive, that’s a step up.

You can’t forgive when you are still trying to reach the surface of the ocean after almost drowning.

You can only forgive once you survived.

Here’s a choice, take your past at a face-value and choose to forgive them instead of raging

or…

Live with this rage your whole life…

The former is much more noble as well as liberating for your soul.

The next day, you’ll look at the mirror and you’ll respect who you see there.

You’ll see someone who CHOSE to not be a victim, someone who CHOSE to not be a slave of his painful past. That’s the power of forgiveness and I’d love you to experience it someday.

All the best…

[KrakenAttackin]

This is tough. You don't owe her anything. The question is, if she died tomorrow and you didn't go to her, are you ok with that? by the way, it's perfectly fine to be ok with just letting her die without you feeding her neurosis. It comes down to what can YOU live with.

[RageBabe]

You shouldn't have to do anything you don't want to, in my opinion, especially for someone who treats you so poorly.

[bededazzle]

dang man, that's entirely up to you. i think you have the right to choose either one and not feel bad.

[Cutegirl06]

If she treated me like that I wouldn't want to see her ever again!! But it's up to you

[TiaNour]

This is up to you lol

[Ironic_Method]

Why would you go?

[Sasha0426]

I wouldn’t 🤷‍♀️