Is my sister right about what she said about people not caring when I had a loss in the family?

[Anonymous]

My coworkers didn’t really acknowledge the death of my mother when I announced it. Only three of them gave condolences, but most of them ignored me, avoided and some said hi to me like they didn’t hear anything.
I cried to my sister on the phone on FaceTime. I know I’m almost 25 and acting like a baby. This is what my sister said, “Look I know this is different. It is for all of us but I’m going to tell you something that is the honest truth. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Nobody really cares about you. They don’t. I’m serious. Everyone has their own problems to deal with and they’re lives are not going to stop because of your traumatic issues. Don’t expect it. Not everyone will give you the reaction or empathy YOU want them too. I’m just speaking from experience. Coworkers care about making money, doing their job and go home. Same with the directors. They don’t care about you! You have us. You’re family to be surrounded by. I know it sounds very blunt, but it’s the truth. They don’t give a rats ass about you and the workforce doesn’t care about your problems or your feelings.”
I was shocked about what my sister said. I cried harder and I just couldn’t talk or look at her for a while. It’s my mama! How can people not care that someone lost their mama? Even after two weeks off, nobody said welcome back or ignored me when I came back. No condolences, “Sorry for your loss”, chats NOTHING. The boss said welcome back and threw work on me. Even my coworkers I work with ignored me. They didn’t even say hi or give me a hug. The assistant director doesn’t greet me much anymore. She never acknowledged my loss NOTHING!
Sorry this is long but I HAD to rant.

[ohsheeT]

I'm sorry you had to go through that and I'm sorry about the last of your mother I'm about to lose mine. and I have given up my life for the last past 4 years just about and taking care of her.. even my brother and sister stay away because they are afraid of what I don't know.. but you have to understand when we lose a loved one it hurts the pain is real and we just want how we think the world will stop and everybody will mourn or say something but the world keeps spinning people keep moving they look at you as they pass you by
and we just want to yell stop the world.

but you also have to think people don't know what's going on in your lives so it's hard for them to understand or care

it's just like somebody in your same office can have the same thing happen two weeks after your mom passed

nobody will know about it just like she didn't know about your mom passing and she will be feeling the same feelings that you feel she just wants everything to stop but nothing does it just keeps going and going

when my mom passes I don't want the world to stop I wanted to keep moving because I know that she's still alive I know that she is in a different place a different energy and everything will be okay

as long as you're okay and understand that we are energy and energy never dies that might be hard to believe but it is true so be happy that you had your time with your mom be sad that she's gone that smile because you will see her again once again I'm sorry for your loss

[Asker]

Thank you so much and I’m sorry about your mother declining. This shit hurts. People that still have their mothers I envy. I guess you have a point. Man my sister was right.

[ohsheeT]

damn I just wrote you a two-page book and it wouldn't let me send it LOL everybody's different but you have to understand one thing I would love to tell you the two stories that I just told you because it would blow you away but just remember this you don't have to be like other people if you see something that you're sad about or somebody else's sad about you can go wrap your arms around them and tell them you're sorry for their loss and what you have to understand is there's many people that don't have parents like your mom you care that much you feel the things you feel because of your mom she instilled those in you and that's a beautiful thing that your mom is still alive energy never dies I really wish I could tell you this two stories but it won't let me send them it's too long but this is just another way for you to remember your mom because she gave that to you that caring that love and that Bond

[iFarted]

She's not wrong, there's no bond between them and your mother. Nothing they say will change the fact that your mother died and at the end of the day, they're your coworkers, not friends. The 3 that did sympathize are the ones you could probably call friends.

Not a friend but sorry for your loss.

[Asker]

Wow my sister was right… they don’t care and my feelings are hurt. I wish my sister would have been more nicer about how she said it. She said I’m so naive thinking everyone will like me and care just because I’m a sweetheart. She broke me with the truth. At least three gave me sympathy. I think everyone else was so rude to me. They could at least show empathy. I can’t believe not a lot of people care about some losing a parent. I just lost my mother and people act like nothing happened and coworkers ignored and avoided me when I came back to work. I wouldn’t wait to go home after the day got done. I went to my room and CRIED.

[iFarted]

"I think everyone else was so rude to me. They could at least show empathy."
I don't think they were rude to you.. it's not rude to not approach you about your mothers passing, they're not obligated to do so...

[Asker]

Well that was…. pretty harsh. My brother said, “Look they don’t have to say ‘sorry for your loss’ even though it is a thoughtful thing to do but if they’re not close to you, why would they? They don’t have too and (our sister’s name) is right. People only care about themselves and you gotta be a damn fool thinking everyone will care about you or like you just because you’re a sweetheart. LISTEN to us. People in the workforce only care about making money. They don’t give a crap about you or your trauma. Learn to grieve privately and do your job. You’re an adult not a child so I will not sugarcoat it. They’re not obligated to mention the loss of our mother or say condolences. Sadly that’s life.”
I ignored their comments and I was crushed.

[HelpfulWoman]

Okay, but not everyone knows your mama.
And some don't know how to comfort those dealing with loss.
It's your work. They're not going to pansy around you. Either take time off to grieve or get on with work. Work isn't like school, it's not about making friends. It's about doing YOUR work and getting paid.
You're being very immature by thinking otherwise.

[HappyWoman34]

I’m not saying what they did was right or excusing their actions, however, I’m wondering if at least some of them didn’t know how to handle it? Like, maybe they were unsure of how you’d feel about people you’re not close to offering their condolences? Especially if they’re young and haven’t lost many people.

[Asker]

Yeah you make a really good point. I can’t make them say anything but it hurts so mad. My sister also said I need to buck up, do my job and grieve on my own time. Mom would want us to move on. Most younger people don’t understand so don’t expect them too.

[HappyWoman34]

I’m sorry about your mum and you’ll get no judgment from me about how to handle your grief. I don’t think there is a wrong or right way; and no one who hasn’t lost their mum should have the right to tell you how to grieve.

[HappyWoman34]

I’m going to say one thing, is it possible that you can take a bit more time off work, for compassionate leave? I don’t think you’re handling it wrong. I just think maybe after losing your mum, you deserve a break for a few weeks? Just to give yourself a break and time to try to come to terms with it? It must be very difficult.

[Paris13]

I Am So Sorry and Know How it Feels To Lose a Mom. My Own Sister is a Hard Nose But She Knows------First Hand, People Can Be Hard Hearts and Not Care. Society Has Gotten Worse!!! xxoo

[ImalwaysrightOK]

I'm sorry 😔 people are just mostly selfish. Sorry about your mom.

[Asker]

My sister is right. Nobody cares

[XXblack88]

Unfortunately, your sister is right on this one.

[Asker]

😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Anonymous]

Yeah

I recall a saying which is this

Don't tell people about your problems because 80% don't care and 20% are glad you have them