Do you think I was being too harsh with someone on here about her dying mother?

[Anonymous]

Okay so this person was posting about how her mother got diagnosed with stage four cancer and is devastated about it. She was asking how will she coop with her mother’s illness. This is what I said to her and I didn’t sugarcoat it, “You’re not making things better by thinking negative and only taking about it. YOU have the choice to choose how to think and if you keep thinking negative thought, you’re going to make thing worse! It won’t do you, your brother or your family any good! You gotta stay positive and spend much time with her as you can? What the hell are you doing sitting around asking strangers? Get that damn plane ticket and go see your mother! I know it sounds harsh but you asked so we gave you honest answers. If you were a child, I would feel sorry for you but since you’re an adult, I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Stop making things worse for yourself and go see your mother!”

I don’t mean to sound harsh but it’s the truth isn’t it? Crying about her mother dying of cancer will make shit worse.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

That’s not harsh, it’s selfish. Your idea of helping is “Don’t be sad, be happy!” Completely ignoring how people grieve and being grossly insensitive. Yes, positive thinking can help in a lot of situations but you basically encouraged them to repress instead of providing coping mechanisms like they asked. If this is your way of grieving, fine. Preface that next time when speaking on loss that this is how you personally deal with it. “Cheer up” completely ignores how this person was seeking out for support that you definitely didn’t give.

[Asker]

Well what the hell do you expect me to say that, “Aww I am so sorry about your mother?” If she does nothing but thinking negative? The worst thing is, SHE is sitting on her ass asking strangers online while she can get her grown ass up, buy a goddamn plane ticket and go see her mother! Does that ring a bell? “BAD DAUGHTER ALERT”
If she really cares about her mother, she would be on a plan right now visiting her! I’m just speaking the truth.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I saw her post, it literally ended with her saying she was flying out ASAP. She’s allowed to be sad and scared about potentially losing her mom.

[Asker]

Look I understand it’s scary. Yeah I’ll give her credit for at least trying but she is still a horrible daughter.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

God forbid someone who’s presumably never experienced loss before reach out on the internet for advice.

[HeartRob25]

😂😂

[Asker]

Whatever. She’s too damn lazy to go see her mother and if she posts and cries that her mother passed away and regretted seeing her, I’m not going to feel sorry for her! It sounds harsh but it will be her own fault. She is making things worse feeling sorry for herself and moping around about her dead mommy. She’s an adult, not a child so I will not sugarcoat it.

[Asker]

@HeartRob25 right? Lol

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You didn’t read that post at all. Her mother is still alive, just dealing with stage 4 cancer, and she’s already bought a plane ticket to go see her. She’s literally doing all the “good daughter” things you say she should be doing and you’re shitting on her because no one’s praising you. Stop being defensive and get off your computer.

[Asker]

What? Because I’m being honest? I’m not getting defensive. People are wimps nowadays. Yeah but how do you know she bought a plane ticket? She probably hasn’t done it yet. I’m not shitting on her, I’m speaking the truth. She shouldn’t have posted the damn post. It’s not my fault she has a dying mother that she is too lazy to see. I’m not going to argue with you anymore. Bye!

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

If you feel the urge to keep talking, get off anon and DM me

[Asker]

No I refuse

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Of course you would, like a coward you hide behind an anonymous label on a website that’s already anonymous because god forbid you lose the approval of total strangers

[Asker]

😳😳😱😱
How dare you? I’m not a coward!!! Take it back!!

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Prove it and DM me

[Asker]

Not if you’re mean

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

This really only proves my point that you’re too much of a coward to dare risk someone knowing NOT your name, NOT your home, but your username. A thing that is meaningless beyond whatever preferences you have to be called on an anonymous forum.

[petitedollbabee]

While there is some truth to what you’ve said, yes she should go and see her mother, the rest of what you said comes across as toxic positivity. Her mother has severe cancer. It is natural to think negatively, it’s not something that I wish for anyone to go through. Telling her to stop thinking negatively because it’ll impact her family.. that’s not the right thing to tell someone whose mother is dying of cancer. That only tells her that she should bottle up her feelings for the sake of other people, which is not healthy.

[Asker]

Well what was I suppose to say? Just cry and mope around her mother dying? No! She needs to have a positive mindset. She needs to toughen up and realize reality doesn’t give a shit about her feelings. Nope I didn’t say “aww I’m sorry to hear that”. I’m saying she needs to buck up and have positive thinking. It’s called tough love. I understand it’s tough but she’s an adult, I’m not going to baby her.

[Asker]

Plus if she has time asking strangers questions, she can go see her mother! Some daughter she is!

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

My mother passed away Nov 10th 2003, yes it will be 20 years this coming November, I went over on Thursday to see her, and she passed away on Monday, so it was rough. You were not sugarcoating it.

[Asker]

At least you went to see her and not sit on your ass asking strangers how to coop with it. If she was a child, I would sympathize, but SERIOUSLY A GROWN ASS WOMAN?

[Asker]

And sorry for the loss of your mother.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I hear you on that one, and I agree she shouldn't sit on her ass but went to see her mom, losing the woman that gave birth to you is rough for sure. I know that for sure

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thank you !!!

[Asker]

I understand it’s hard but you could give her some brutally honest advice about being a bad daughter.

[Asker]

well, she did say she’s going to fly out ASAP so I’ll give her credit but still.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I hope things work out, but it's rough for sure

[Asker]

Yeah

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for MHO :)

[Asker]

You’re welcome

[Anonymous]

She have time to asked strangers but don't have time to fly to her mom...
You're spot on I'm with you

[Asker]

Thank you! Exactly!! She’s just sitting on her ass asking strangers and not seeing her mother. “Bad Daughter” alert! If she posts next time saying her mother past always and regretted not seeing her, I’m not going to feel sorry for her. I’m going to say “I told you so”.

[Asker]

“Passed away” I mean

[Opinion Owner]

Sometimes this girls thinking is beyond my understanding your mom have 4 stage cancer n your talking to strangers? I mean wtf are you ohk? Go run to your mom cunt just don't post for attention 😂

[Asker]

YES!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Speak the truth! She is just an attention seeking whore that wants EVERYONE to feel sorry for her while her grown ass should be on that plane seeing her mother! She better not come back crying making a post about her mom passing away and regretting not seeing her! You should say that straight up to her. Want me to give you the link to her post? If you want me too.

[Opinion Owner]

No babe I don't want her question link...
I don't even wanna see her face

[Asker]

Good enough for me. I don’t wanna see her ugly face. She’s lucky she posted anonymous so you can’t see her face.
If I saw her face, I just wanna punch it! 👊🏾👊🏾👊🏾👊🏾👊🏾👊🏾👊🏾
But it isn’t worth it. Her poor mother.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes love wish this girl have heart like you have ❤️😘

[Asker]

Oh stop lol. Thank you. 💖

[Opinion Owner]

You have such a wonderful heart you're gold pure gold 😘❤️

[Asker]

💖💖

[Opinion Owner]

Follow me i wanna follow you baby 😘

[Asker]

If her mom dies I would laugh at her face and said, ”You should have went to see her.” We’ll probably not laugh but I’ll say I told you so. I already followed you

[Opinion Owner]

You're truly amazing sweetheart 😘

[Adaeva]

No! You were not too harsh. They should not be bothering us with their problems that we cannot possibly help them with.

[Asker]

Yes!!! Thank you!!! Finally someone understands! She should be taking care of that, not asking strangers how to coop with her mothers illness. You’re right, she should not be asking about something we can’t do anything about. You’re a very smart kid. This woman is an adult and she has the idea to ask stranger online? That’s pathetic and if it’s too late and her mom is gone, sorry but I’m going to say I told her so and she wasted too much time asking strangers online instead of getting that plane ticket to go see her dying mother. Her problem, not ours. If she was a child I would sympathize, but seriously an ADULT? I wouldn’t feel sorry for her.

[Asker]

Some people are saying I’m heartless but I’m not, I was telling the truth. If her mom dies and she rants that she regretted not seeing her, that’s not our problem. We don’t wanna hear it.

[Adaeva]

I understand that women, especially, want to talk about their problems and they should with their family, friends, doctor, etc., but strangers can't help and, if I don't know you, I have my own problems, I don't need and I probably don't want to hear about your problems.

[Asker]

I feel the same way. If it’s someone I know that’s going through a thought time I will help them but a stranger, they’re in their own. Like I said if that person rants about regretting not seeking her dying mother, I could care and sorry to say, I don’t wanna hear her cry about it.

[Asker]

Care less I mean

[Adaeva]

That is how my brain read it.

[Anonymous]

You were a heartless bitch. Don't say what the hell do you expect me to say. You could have simply scrolled past the post instead of saying what you did

[Asker]

I’m not a heartless bitch!!! People are so mean to young folks! I’m just telling her the truth.