Was I too harsh on him?

[sunshinejm]

I've been dating a guy for two months. He seems to be very sweet and honest, however I feel I am getting warning signs from him which makes me feel uncertain about being with him. When we started dating he said he can't be in a relationship before having sex with that person? I was shocked and made it clear that I don't have sex with someone unless I'm in a serious relationship. So far we haven't had sex, and he seems to be respectful. In person he is adorable, he cooked for me, he brought me flowers, he takes me out, etc. Sometimes he texts me, however when I text him, he takes forever to text me back (>5 hours). Today I texted him from my work cell which to him was an unknown number. I said "hey handsome" and he replied "monica? hm anais? nichole? tiffany? " I was so pissed off, he mentioned tons of names except mine. So I told him that I was very disappointed, that I deserve a lot more respect from someone I'm dating and that if he is not serious about us, that I was done because I wasn't going to waste my effort and time in somebody that is not on the same page. Of course he said sorry that he was just playing around, he thought it was some random girl and asked me why don't I trust him if he never done anything more than showing me respect. I told him my reason for questioning him, including the point of his "no sex, no relationship" . He said that he is not a player, that I should not question him because we haven't had sex and we are in a relationship." In my option dating is not a relationship so finally I said that I was uncertain whether he is willing and ready to commit either now or in the near future, I told him that I wanted to be with him; and asked him if he was willing to do the same?

He hasn't answer my question yet?

Do you guys think I was to harsh on him, or was it just enough to make myself clear?

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

I think that if he was joking it was a stupid joke or if he did that to make you jealous or come off as a ladies man, it was a stupid move, so you were right to get pissed off at a stupid f***ing joke, also, who takes 5 hours to text back anyways? and him saying that sh*t about having sex and then a relationship was a stupid thing to say player or not, this guy if he made his moves right could have sacked you even before a relationship occured, but anyways ask him how serious he wants to be with you and that you don't like playing games and if you find out that he is then you will cut him out completely, then in a relationship and hold off on the sex and see how he reacts, if he gets pissed let him wee his pants about it.

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

its a joke, understood, but some jokes aren't meant to be said. its like if your boss jokingly said "hey you are fired today" even though he turns around and bes like "haha just joking" anyone would be like, f*** kinda joke is that? if this guy is serious about you why even put doubts into your head like that?

[DocClassic]

i thnk you guys are after two different things at this point in your lives

[Animal_Girl]

No, I don't think you were too harsh on him. You have standards and told him what they were. Regardless of whether he was joking with the other girls' names or not, he should answer your question honestly so you can decide whether he's worth your time or not. If he can't say he's ready for the monogamous commitment of a relationship, that's fine, but you don't have to settle for it if you don't want to.

[JennaLove]

You made yourself clear. Dating isn't a relationship. I'm in a relationship with a boy who also believes you can't have a relationship without sex. I felt differently and wanted to wait. Unfortunately he pressured me into it sooner then I would have liked. Honestly I would say let him go because I don't see him becoming what you want in your life.

[Shaun]

Not harsh.