Time to turn in the friendship bracelet?

[Anonymous]

I promise there are no bracelets involved. However, I've been thinking about two of my close friendships and I believe it is time to end them. For starters, I have a friend who struggles with consequences and their mental health and I mean outrageous stuff. I have attempted to be a decent human being and tell them to seek out help (doctors... medication... local resources), but they do not have an interest in it for themselves. I understand finances and insurance can play a role at times, but they deliberately said they weren't open to medication if the doctor insisted.

Another friend has settled in a toxic relationship with someone who is not secure with themselves and they aren't loyal to them whatsoever. They often attempt to give me relationship advice and I know we all have our issues in life but I would rather take advice from someone else. They also give somewhat backhanded compliments or grow irritated when I explain that my home life was greatly different due to my culture.

I don't see these relationships growing anymore and I thought I could just gradually pull back from them. But these are the type of friends that check in though and kind of wouldn't take my feedback too well, and that's understandable. How do I do this? Has anyone been in a similar situation? I'm thankful for the good times and I realize that we're all decent people for the most part but I don't think I can do this anymore.

Updates

+1 y

**** I want to be clear that I'm here for the friend with mental health issues when they need to vent. Sadly, they tend to make others worry due to their impulsive (sometimes violent) behavior.****

[SueShe]

You need to distance yourself slowly from those toxic friends.

Be direct and don't be afraid to tell them that their toxicity or behavior is taking a toll on you because of their failure to take action to get better. You can tell them that you are willing to reconsider the friendship once they have done something to remedy their situation and that you see improvements in their behavior.

There is no shame in protecting your own health and sanity. If they are not willing to do something about themselves, then it is best to be upright with them and to inform you that their behavior is detrimental to your own mental health. Good luck.

[Asker]

Thank you for your advice. I genuinely came here because I didn't want to call any other friends and potentially cause any future drama.

[Nikki1989]

You shouldn't waste your time on these people.

[boobliker]

sympathy does run out, and you need to keep some for later in your own life. So don't feel bad about drifting away from them slowly at first. make new friends and don't givemore that you can aford to give as say keep some for youeself.

[Avicenna]

Most people kind of ghost people they no longer want to be friends with because it's a hard convo to have

[Asker]

I know, I'm trying not to go that route. I've honestly never had to sit down and say "Hey don't wanna be friends anymore because of..." My friendships have always ended with me or the other friend just not communicating anymore.

[Asker]

However, its hard I guess because we've been friends for quite some time. I deleted a social media account a while back and they kind of freaked out about it, so the ghosting will probably never happen.

[Iron_Man]

Why are you throwing in the towel

[Asker]

Honestly, toxic behavior and different growth patterns (maturity, goals, and etc.) I understand going through things with your mental health, but sometimes we need medication and a non-biased perspective. The other friend continuously blames their partner's side quests for their relationship issues. I'm not saying the side quests don't play a part in it but your partner isn't loyal to you at all. We also tend to view things differently on a political/ethical level.

[Iron_Man]

Fix it we’re on this earth to help people

[Asker]

I have honestly tried. I can't make an adult go see a psychiatrist and take medicine or even set an appointment with a therapist. The other friend is set in their ways... to be more specific I am a woman of color so I've had a different experience than the friend with relationship issues growing up due to my cultural background. Racism being a big one... However, my question would be to you... when do I stop trying to help people who aren't content but refuse to do anything about it?

[Iron_Man]

You never throw on the towel never you never leave a man behind