Is this friendship a waste of time?

[petitedollbabee]

I recently started talking to this girl, and she seemed nice enough, we’ve talked on and off for a couple weeks now. Slowly building a friendship. But it seems that she only talks to me when she has a problem that she wants advice on. Anytime we try to talk about anything ‘normal’ like hobbies or interests, she seems uninterested and shuts down the conversation. She’s barely asked me anything about myself and she mostly just talks about herself. Am I wasting my time with trying to build a friendship with her?

[molonski2]

She is just using you as a sounding board for the negative , eventually this will bring you down ( complete negative input ) , so if I were you I'd " Cut clean the dead wood " what you have described is not a friendship , just going to bring you pain , I avoid people like this.

[Andres77]

Sounds like…🤔

[Andres77]

Yeah, this is not a friendship. This is an acquaintance until you determine if it’s worth becoming a friendship.
Friendship includes mutual vulnerability (to varying depth) and action in support of each other.
This is one sided.
The next time she contacts you, tell her you’re busy and watch her throw a fit.
That will confirm what we’re all saying.
Then just smile to yourself and think “bullet dodged, bitch.”
And move on.
Maintain your standards.
Good luck, kiddo.

[smne35]

Never see it as a waste of time ok, she may really need some advice and don't know how to come out and ask it where to really turn, so if what you tell her I'd helpful they it's a good thing but it's never a waste of time to connect with someone, she's not asking you for anything other than to listen to her, sheet may eventually open up but she won't forget you taking the time to listen to her and give feedback patience is required here and just being there for another person is a noble act, what ever you do in your life to help another do so without expectations, or ulterior motives don't turn your back away to her now ok just be there you may be doing more good than not

[IrishStewed]

Sounds to me like she is using you as someone to dump on when she has a problem. People do that when they don't want the people she is really into getting anything negative from her as they may look down on her. That means with you she doesn't care if you get negatives because she is not looking for anything more from you than a dumping ground. Hearing all this, do you think this so-called friendship is a waste of time? ~ K🧡

[razelove]

Most likely, only looking for companionship or conversation when things are looking down isn't the sign that you aren't viewed as important. It's that you don't get any input or output past what she's concerned with as her problems. I've had acquaintances where we only talked when things weren't so hot over pool, bowling, beers, what have you. We mutually bitched about our problems and bragged about what was going well though.

[IslaTheWitch]

The beginnings of the friendship can be different. Communication is the key the same as in any relationship.

I would talk with her, I would tell her my observations and ask how does she see it.

Any decision if it's worth of my time I would probably make after the time we agreed on to try to make things better

[etsylo]

you're basically just someone to use for whenever she wants to vent. you're human, it sucks that you tried and she didn't.

you're putting in effort and it sucks to know it's one sided. it's a huge waste of time, i hope you will stop talking to her or tell her how you feel at least.

[Massageman]

Self-centered and greedy, as presented. Move on.
Really, if all the people asking about their "friends" would just take a step back- maybe put these people in the shoes of others they know- it would be obvious that it's just going to be a slow boat to the junk heap.

[Danny_dan92]

I don't know what your end goal is with her, but it could be that she thinks you’re trynna be more than friends. Cause you’re asking a lot of personal questions to her

[petitedollbabee]

Definitely not the case.

[Danny_dan92]

Well yeah, I’m just saying it could be that she thinks that is your intention

[Danny_dan92]

Or possibly she’s kind of closed out from society. Isn’t very social to begin with, who knows. I guess what you could do is clarify why she’s changed. Maybe it has nothing to do with you, maybe she’s going through something personal. If that’s the case it’s a perfect opportunity for you to be a friend and tell her she can trust you and can vent and unload her troubles on you. Just some ideas

[petitedollbabee]

I think you may have confused my question with someone elses?

[Danny_dan92]

No? I haven’t

[Danny_dan92]

Sorry I’m sick af I re read it.

Seems like she’s kind of a narcissist tbh. She only talks about herself and wants your advice on things that benefit her

[NathanDavis]

that really doesn't sound much like a friendship, no... and it also seems to be a one-sided thing...

[Paris13]

Those are The Types That Only Want Something (If Only Advice) and To Make it About Them. Narcissists. Be Civil Only. xxoo

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

People who are preoccupied with themselves are not worth being friends with them.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, this is a waste of time. Same happened to me with my old best friend, we were friends growing up, for years. After a time in different universities, she just texts me when she's in troubles, at first, I felt good at least she had someone to help her when she needed, then I realized how stupid it is to be there for someone who doesn't care about you and doesn't remember you exist until they need you. God will forgive anyone for that, I won't.

[Ironic_Method]

I wouldn't waste my time, personally. You shouldn't have to "try" to be friends with someone.

[smne35]

Is it a waste of time when someone is calling for help don't be so quick to dismiss someone due to your not getting your selfish needs attended to or things not going your way, try to look beyond what is right in front of you hear what's being said not what you want, we must always be humane towards others not cast aside so easily, just saying respect, not reject

[Ironic_Method]

It's not that deep dude. Sometimes a toxic relationship is a toxic relationship.

[smne35]

With all due respect which I can only do on you view, but don't be so quick to jump to conclusions, about someone because your not getting what you want sometimes you have to go the distance to to gain talk understanding and asking the way just might save someone so yeah it's that deep

[Sonorous]

I'd say it is. in my opinion the best types of friendships are ones where the other person is self aware enough to know when they need to make compromises & just how important they are.

[Iron_Man]

Tell her about your problems, see what she has to say

[Aiden_111]

This signifies that she trusts you and she believes that you'll always give her a right decision so yeah she is a good person don't let her go...

[Cutegirl06]

She sounds like she can be selfish.

[Alex8736]

100% waste of time

[LavLavLuv]

Oh girl…