My older cousin from a different country thinks keeping in touch means texting everyday and all day, how do I get this to stop?

[Anonymous]

She will ask me why I don’t text her quickly constantly and it’s driving me insane. She is 45 doesn’t she have a life of her own

[Anonymous]

She is lonely. Tell her that you cannot fill in a gap for her that keeps her asking for contact.
You don't mean to be rude or inappropriate, but you simply do not have the time nor patience to talk every day and tell her you don't mean to be upsetting, but the kind of contact she wishes is not something you can offer her. Suggest her to redirect her focus into figuring out why exactly she needs to interact at all times. It's not your responsibility how she feels, especially when your actions are meant to be harmless.
In all honesty, you shouldn't have to explain yourself, but as someone who has been left hanging multiple times, it would probably calm her mind if you did (it's up to you however).
So I suggest you tell her how you feel. Even if she takes it the wrong way, there's nothing you can do about it, unless you want to spend the rest of you life babysitting your cousin because she doesn't want to look herself in the mirror and ask herself why she needs the amount of attention she is asking for.

[Asker]

She is also 15 years older than me I naturally find it hard just of the age gap and we are at different stages of life. I have other cousins who are in their 40s and I only hear from them a few times a year she’s being a little too much if I’m honest purely because she has never been married and she has cried on the phone a number of times. When I got into a relationship a few years ago she would write me me messages telling me not to forgot met her and she was apparently going to do a cousin test and kick my boyfriend ass to see if he is a good guy… I’m starting to under stand why my other family members don’t speak highly of her as she can be quite strange

[Asker]

Not to forget her**

[sheikalana]

Reply only when it's convenient for you. You don't need to explain why it took you so long to get back to her just say you've been busy.

[Asker]

I’m finding it hard to get along with her I just find it difficult when she cries on the phone about why she isn’t married at 45 and she’s not a popular member in our family a lot of people call her strange or avoid her but she seems to have latched onto me

[sheikalana]

She seems lonely and probably feels safe talking to you. But it's all about boundaries. I would only talk to her a few times a week and keep it short. Eventually she will back off.

[Asker]

If she had kids and a husband I doubt I’d ever hear from her I’m not gonna be her pass time just because of that either tired of being the nice girl who never says no to people

[sheikalana]

Well, there's your answer. She only started acting this clingy because you allowed her in the first place.

[Asker]

She’s too much…nobody would put up with it as long as I did

[Saiesh30]

Say it politely that I can't respond to you all day. I have other stuff to do as well. Either I can talk in evening or morning (whatever time you want to).
And that you can't use your phone all day long.
If you can't do that, stop responding. Don't even open her chat so she doesn't get to know you've seen the message or not. Gradually she'll stop.

[Asker]

That’s the thing tho she’s 5 hours behind so I’m already at work and I’m strictly not allowed to used my phone full stop at work and at night I have running and Spanish and sometimes I don’t want to text anymore and have some me time

[Saiesh30]

Then it's best to not respond. And whenever you have to talk just apologise that you've been busy and didn't have time to check messages.

[BadApple69]

Be honest with her. Tell her you enjoy keeping in touch but everyday and all day long is way too much.

[Asker]

She really annoys me she has said in the past when I got really busy at work that she thought I was in a depression or having boyfriend troubles when really I was just busy at work I don’t live in her country… man she annoys me

[BadApple69]

From what you just said it seems she is worried about you. Does she have reason to worry?

[Asker]

There is nothing wrong how can she gather these assumptions from texting like I said she doesn’t know me well and I don’t live in her town. My relationship is healthy and the only reason I don’t text her is I give her strange and she isn’t a popular member in our family either. I find it uncomfortable how she cries on the phone about how she isn’t married at 45….

[Asker]

Is I find her strange**

[BadApple69]

Then maybe she worries (incorrectly) that you’ll end up like her.
Regardless it appears she is worried about you.
So a couple things you can do is…. Convince her that you are ok and there is no reason to worry.
Or just stop chatting with her, and once a month you send a message that you are ok.
I don’t know your status but if you are dating someone (or want to say you are) that would be a good reason you can’t chat as much and maybe make her worry less.

[Asker]

I don’t feel the need to explain myself and if I message her she will just continue to send me a million messages all day long. I’m already at work when she’s asleep and don’t have time at night either as I want to go to sleep with out her texting all night. she lives in North America and I’m in Europe I don’t need to tell her anything she is also 45 not a cousin of my age. I have cousins in there 40s and they aren’t texting 24/7 and I only hear from them a few times a year.

[BadApple69]

Then it sounds like you should just stop texting her. If you don’t mind me asking… where in North America does she live?

[Asker]

Also my brother has known my boyfriend for 5 years they worked in the same engineering lab higher calibre boyfriend she has had in the past lol

[Asker]

She lives in Ontario

[DoggyDude]

Goodness, thats annoying behaviour. That said, you might want to get a new phone number and just keep your respectful friends on that number. Then you can turn the phone she continuiously texts you on to silent and maybe answer her once a week or something (or whenever you feel like responding).

I would just tell her, make it light and jokey "I don't respond to my partner half as often as you text, so I certainly won't be spending my day texting you back lol; No offence, we just have a different idea on social eitiquet sure we can coexist" (though bear in mind im very much a straight talker, and some find me rude).

If she's a decent person she'll laugh and say 'yeah I do text a lot dont I'; If she's a bit of a control freak she'll probably take offence, but if your lucky that offence will mean she won't text you 'because she's annoyed with you' its a win!

Best of luck!

[Jellyfish120]

Such people are like vampires. You should create your boundaries, it's essential.

[Asker]

I didn’t text her for like a week and she catches me another social media platform “dear cousin I miss you” basically making me feel stuck to text her forever more

[Jellyfish120]

You do not own her anything. If it is too much, it is. You are not her psychologist...

[Asker]

She doesn’t want to talk to me… only to use me as a time pass

[slatyb]

Respond when you want. If she complains, don't respond.

[Asker]

It’s a bit of a tricky situation and this is not normal innocent chit chat she has cried on the phone why she’s never been married at 45 years old and it makes me uncomfortable. I got a boyfriend 2 years ago and she wrote messages telling me she’s gonna kick his ass to see if he is a good guy I find her rather annoying. My uncle calls her strange and she has other members that don’t even talk to her and I’m starting to understand why. I feel like I’m trapped and have to keep messaging her

[JacobJordan]

You tell them you are busy and don't elaborate further she will get it eventually

[Asker]

I find her quit uncomfortable to talk with she will cry on the phone about why she’s isn’t married at her age 45…. I’m starting to understand why other people avoid her some of my family calls her strange

[JacobJordan]

Yeah just ignore her and tell you are busy. She'll figure it out. Or last resort get offensive and tell her that the reason you don't want to talk is because you find her annoying and her whining about her lack of a husband is pathetic blah blah blah and then end with most of our family finds you annoying and weird no wonder no one wants to marry you

[Asker]

Im just gonna continue with not texting her when I got to know her I realise how annoying she is

[JacobJordan]

Probably the best option hopefully she will get the message.

[FunkyMonkee]

Only respond when YOU want to! Eventually, she'll cut down on her texts, too.

[Asker]

I find it awakened sometimes talking to her on the phone because she’s like 15 years older than me so I naturally don’t feel close to her and it makes me uncomfortable when she cries on the phone because she’s never been married at 45….

[FunkyMonkee]

I've never been married, either. I've only ever had 3 girlfriend's and 2 only lasted about 3 months and I don't cry about it. I've always hoped I was gonna have kids but, I guess that's just never gonna happen.
About 20 years ago, there was this girl that was interested in me. I met her online and we started talking on the phone. If one called the other, chances are, we'd be on the phone for AT LEAST an hour!! After 2 or 3 days of this, she'd call, we'd talk for over an hour, I'd get tired of sitting there doing nothing and tell her I had to go deal with something else. About 2 minutes later, she'd call back again and be on the phone with me for ANOTHER HOUR or so!! We'd hang up and, moments later she'd call back AGAIN!! I'd end up spending half my day on the phone with her getting absolutely NOTHING done!!
I'd get to bed 4 or 5 a. m. and she'd call 5 hours later and wake me up just to talk! Nothing important, just random shit! We'd end the call and I'd head back upstairs to bed for another 2 hours and she'd call back before I got there!! By the time I'd finally get rid of her, I still haven't had breakfast and mom is getting ready to cook dinner!! I just told them that if she calls again, I'm not home! One day, she took the hint and stopped calling! Well, she stopped calling ME! One time, my brother answered so, she started talking to him all day! Eventually, she talked him into coming over to her place (about 25 miles from here) for some kind of supposed party. She and her two kids (whom she verbally abused A LOT!) and her pet RATS, one of whom was about to have babies, lived in a trailer! The next morning around 8 or 9, she called up and woke up my parents to ask if my brother was epileptic (he was not!) because he was lying on the floor vibrating uncontrollably and foaming at the mouth! My parents rushed over there to get him and we eventually found out that she gave him breakfast the next day and put rat poison in his orange juice!!

[FunkyMonkee]

She stopped calling completely after that!! Why they never took her skanky ass to court for that, I don't know!!
Anyway, as I've said, once I stopped taking her calls, she stopped making them, at least to me.

[Mr_twoface]

Call her up, be gentle and polite, and tell her you can't constantly respond due to studies, work, gym, personal errands etc. Just be straightforward, open and transparent for her to get it.

[jjj101010]

Don’t respond every day, that will slow her down

[Asker]

It doesn’t matter how much I delay text messages she will respond so quickly no matter how long I send texts

[jjj101010]

Just message back and say ur busy can u catch up another time.

[Asker]

I’m starting to realise I don’t enjoy texting her I find her to be quite annoying and she cries about how she’s not married at 45…

[jjj101010]

Is there someone u could direct her to to get help?

[Asker]

No clue I don’t live in her country she lives 3,000 miles away. Her brother and sister in law should be helping. She’s not really popular in our family as a lot of people say she’s strange and even my dad ignores her when she texts

[jjj101010]

Maybe direct her to professional help then rather than family

[Asker]

I know but my dad gets pissed off as this shouldn’t be my problem.

[jjj101010]

Yeah I get that, where r u based and where r they? Drop me a message if that’s easier?

[Asker]

My older cousin lives in Canada and I live in the UK. We are on completely different schedules because of the time zones

[jjj101010]

Ah ok, I’m UK too

[Asker]

I shouldn’t of texted her because she has become so clingy with me expecting me to text 24/7 I have a job and my partner lives with me

[jjj101010]

Yeah u need to ice her for a while, say u have been busy

[Asker]

Keeping in touch doesn’t mean to harass someone 24/7 a day it’s annoying I sometimes feel I write complete nonsense because I have nothing to say

[jjj101010]

I find a thumbs up emoji tends to end a conversation

[CozyCoffin]

Call her and make it firm with her that this is not acceptable. You would like to still talk to her but on a lesser amount.

[Asker]

It’s not just normal chit chat with a family member she can be quite nosey. She also cries on the phone slowly she’s never been married before at 45 it makes me really uncomfortable. She’s also not a popular member in the family as my uncle calls her strange and some people don’t talk to her altogether I’m starting to understand why

[Asker]

Phone about why she’s not married*

[Account]

Tell her you can't be alert 24/7 on your phone since you would rather do other stuff with your time.

[CVNT5]

lol she single, she needs a guy in her life.

[Asker]

I can’t handle her I’ve got my own partner and responsibilities. It’s just too much

[Paris13]

Set Her Straight on Your Schedule. xxoo

[spoole]

Say stop texting so much.

[SotiCoto]

So block her.

[Anonymous]

Only reply once a day in a huge block.

[Luckycharms12]

Don't respond problem solved

[In_Trance]

Stop responding

[James8890]

Hi th